Behind These Words
by sweetbubblegum
Summary: A James&Lily story. A story on how the final year at Hogwarts made the two finally confess their feelings for each other.
1. To Understand

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Important Note:** I live in Australia and in our school we have School Captains. I believe this is the equivalent to Head Boys and Head Girls…? Sorry, I'm just a little confused. Also, in Australia, we have vice-captains…I was wondering if there are equivalents to those? AND (this is the last thing) is there anything in Australia that is equivalent to prefects? It's just that with a little more information, I would understand the statuses a bit more. :)

**Chapter One:: To Understand**

"Good morning, Evans."

Lily Evans sighed and decided to ignore that annoying voice that belonged to James Potter. Ever since they had met in the First Year, it had been his tradition to greet her as soon as they board the train. At least, this would be the last year he got to annoy her as soon as she was ready to embark to Hogwarts.

Realising James wouldn't leave until she acknowledged his presence, Lily finally looked up from the book she was reading to face the piercing hazel eyes of James Potter. Instead of focusing her gaze upon his gleaming eyes, she noticed something else that was gleaming. A badge.

"_You're_ Head Boy?" she squawked.

This _had _to be a nightmare. It must just be a dream that highlighted everything she feared in her life. Such as learning James Potter was the Head Boy when she was Head Girl.

James placed a hand over his heart and pretended to be wounded.

"Geez, Evans, I thought you'd be complimenting on my efforts," he sighed with great exasperation.

"What about Remus?" Lily asked not bothering to hide her shock. She had spent enough time with Remus Lupin as a prefect to learn that he deserved to be Head Boy rather than James.

"Guess I outshined him," James shrugged clearly indicating that he didn't care about one of his best friend's feelings.

"I bet you stole it off him!" Lily exclaimed trying to find any excuse to why the badge was pinned on James. "That's right, Potter. _Admit_ you took it off him."

James snorted and shook his head. Strands of his messy, black hair fell across his forehead and it nerved Lily how it could never be simply _neat_.

"There's nothing to admit to but the truth," he replied crisply. "I decided that the two of us should share a compartment to ease the tension that may surface during our meetings as Heads this year."

Lily raised an eyebrow. Was James still not tired of trying to impress her? She was finding it humorous that he was trying to sound authentic and of power. Where was the reckless Quidditch player she had grown to know over the years?

"I'm sorry to ruin your hopes," Lily started airily. "But there are other people who I will be sitting with and there is no room for them to sit with your big head in here."

James narrowed his eyes.

"That wasn't very nice," he said finally.

"It's not very nice of me to promise Mindy and Severus seats only for them to find YOU'RE in here," Lily retorted.

Mindy Parker was her best friend since First Year. The two of them spent hours talking and helping each other in need. Severus Snape, on the other hand, had been her friend for _over_ seven years since he discovered her as a witch. She had to admit she was finding their relationship straining ever since he started to grow jealous of James. At times, Severus even seemed possessive.

"What?" Lily asked when she saw James's sour face.

"You're _still_ friends with Snivellus?" James exclaimed aghast. "I know you like to be in control but how can you be when you fall under the Dark Arts?"

"Stop calling him that!" Lily growled, growing agitated. James just always seemed to make her angry.

She stood up from her seat and faced an equally angry James. In the midst of her anger, Lily still realised he was growing taller. He was now about half a foot taller than her.

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm _not_ interested in the Dark Arts and neither is Severus!"

"I don't like you lying to me, Evans," James growled.

"I'm not!"

"You ARE! You always lie to me when it comes to precious, little _Severus_."

"Shut up, already! You're just jealous that he excels in all his subjects whereas you're just scraping by."

"That's right, Evans, I'm just _so_ jealous of Snape. I mean, geez, I wished I had his slimy hair and hooked nose. And yeah, I wish I had a sponge instead of a brain!"

"Stop it!" Lily cried, frustrated tears welling in her eyes. So much for a good start to the year. "Why are you always so _mean _to him? He hasn't even _done_ anything to you. You're almost seventeen yet you act like seven!"

James was shaking. It seemed like it was from anger. No, make that rage. But Lily wasn't terrified. Her rage would easily put out his.

"Why are you always defending him?" James hissed. "What does he have to offer you?"

"More than you could ever offer!" Lily shouted back. She was surprised that the whole school hadn't waited outside the compartment to see what the argument was about. People tend to indulge in gossips these days. Or maybe they _were_ outside, it wasn't like she could see behind the closed doors.

However, she could see James. And he did not look happy and his trademark smirk wasn't on his face. In fact, he looked like he was slapped.

"Fine," he jeered. Lily had never seen him look so coldly at her and it made her tremble. Just. "If that's the way you want it, fine. Just fine."

He shot her an icy glare and was about to stroll out when the door opened and Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew came stumbling in.

Lily froze. Had they heard the whole argument? She knew the school was used to hearing her argue with James but it didn't mean she liked it. What if people perceived her to be as mean as he?

"Were you listening?" James asked, echoing Lily's thoughts. His voice came out dull and weary.

"Nope," Sirius piped. "Just checking all compartments to say hi to you. Man, didn't see you at all this morning. We all assumed you were with Lily and we were right."

"I was just leaving," James muttered. His three best friends were blocking the door.

Lily was glad his back was turned to her because she couldn't even imagine what the look was on his face. She felt a twinge of guilt but it wasn't like she did anything wrong. He had, in fact, brought it all onto himself.

Lily was trying to ignore everyone's gaze but she could see Sirius whipping his head back and forth between the two of them.

"Everything cool?" he asked.

"Yes," Lily replied coolly, picking up the book she dropped. She forced a smile. "Good morning, Sirius, Remus and Peter."

"Morning!" they all echoed like robots.

"Let's go," James muttered, obviously the leader of their little gang.

"Why?" Sirius asked with a frown. He obviously shared equal status of the leader in their gang. "I haven't even congratulated Lily on winning Head Girl. Congratulations, Lily!"

"Thank-you," she said smiling politely.

"Oh, yeah, congratulations!" Peter squeaked as if just catching on what happened. Typical.

"Thank-you," Lily repeated.

"Congratulations," Remus smiled kindly. He was the only one in the gang who Lily found mature and sensible.

"Thank-you," Lily repeated for the third time.

"Hey, Prongs, did you know Remus didn't get Head Boy?" Sirius laughed making Remus turn pink. "Sad, you know, how he's such a good boy and got nothing in return. Do you know who got Head Boy – "

Sirius stopped halfway through the sentence when he noticed the badge shining on James's broad chest.

"No…flipping…way," he gasped. "The little Potter boy is Head Boy?!"

James finally moved since his friends fell into the compartment. His movements were sharp and held the hint of anger. He unpinned his badge and thrust it at a shocked Remus.

"I think there was a mistake," James muttered. He pushed Peter out of the way and left the compartment.

Lily felt her mouth go dry. She knew James was hurting bad since he wasn't showing any sign of his huge ego. But she didn't know why. What did she say that cut him so deep? It was basically another normal argument that the two of them always had.

"What happened?" Remus asked in a low voice.

"Yeah, what happened?" Sirius frowned. "I've never seen Prongs so beat up."

"I don't know," Lily answered truthfully. She secretly wished it wasn't anything she did though. She didn't really want to hurt James, she just wished he would be nicer.

Remus eyed Lily warily. It was obvious he didn't believe her and he was the only one who could read past the looks she projected to the world.

"I'm serious!" she insisted.

"Okay, okay," Sirius laughed not realising she was speaking to Remus. "We'll leave you to it. We better make sure James doesn't end up trying to swallow a Snitch because you're not his girl."

They all bid farewell and left. Soon after, Mindy and Severus entered.

"Finally!" Mindy exclaimed collapsing on the seat opposite Lily. "They left after eons! Severus was too scared to enter with all of them here."

"Was not," Severus said hotly but his cheeks turned the slightest pink.

"Are you okay?" Mindy asked closely examining Lily's face. "You seemed kind of…detached."

"I'm fine!" Lily insisted although she felt like she was crumbling. She didn't know why. James just sometimes had a strange effect on her.

"Hey, Head Girl!" Mindy said noticing the badge.

"Yeah…" Lily said half-heartedly. Now, everything just seemed to remind her of James…

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

"_More than you could ever offer!"_

Lily's furious, disgusted voice rang through James's head over and over again.

She was right, of course. She was always right. He was only just scraping by in his subjects. Well…he had brains but he purposely ensured he just scraped by to maintain his 'cool' status. Wouldn't that make him stupid? He was also mean to Severus even though he never did anything unless provoked. He didn't deserve to be Head Boy.

She didn't realise that he was as shock as her when he found out he was Head Boy. He didn't know why he was picked to be Head Boy. He was just so happy to be a Head with her. He thought they could be…friends.

He never understood and didn't think he ever will. Practically everyone (minus the slimy Snivellus) wanted to be his friend but Lily never did. Even Mindy was at times nice to him. Why didn't Lily want to be friends with him?

And how could she say _Severus_ wasbetter than him? What did he have to offer that James didn't have? Was it his glasses? His parents keep protesting that it cost too much to get his eyes fixed. Well, thanks. Lily just didn't think he wasn't good enough for him.

But that was true once again. He just wasn't good enough for Lily. It was plain to everyone. Lily was beautiful – that word, beautiful, was too weak to describe someone like her. Gorgeous, wouldn't do either. Neither would exquisite. She was a whole other level of beauty.

And her heart was made of gold. She was caring towards everyone (minus him) and would defend anyone who James decided to pick on. The only reason why he hexed people for fun was just to get Lily to talk to him.

And she was dedicated to her schoolwork. She had only ever received top marks and the wisdom shone in her emerald eyes.

Who could be perfect enough for Lily Evans? Surely, it could never be him.

And when he saw her eyes fill with tears, he felt like someone was clutching his heart. There was a sharp pain in his chest that wouldn't go away. It brought him great grief that he was the cause of her tears. Never in one of their arguments had he made her cry.

"There you are!" Sirius exclaimed breaking James's miserable thoughts. He, along with Remus and Peter, entered his compartment.

"Here I am," James confirmed dully.

"What's the matter?" Remus asked. "Is it Lily?"

"It always is," Sirius said rolling his eyes.

"Eh, yeah," James said realising it was pointless to lie to his friends. "Don't worry about it. She's just being tough."

"Are you sure she's worth it?" Sirius asked cautiously. "I know she's the height of perfection but there are other chicks who cut in close. All Evans does is cause you heartache."

James barked out laughter.

"I'm fine, honesty," James lied. He didn't want to burden his friends with worry. What happened to all the fun times they had? "Now, what happened in your break?"

Sirius rambled on about his break and soon enough, the only person who was listening was Peter. Realising Sirius wouldn't blow a fuse if he realised not everyone was listening to him, Remus pulled out the badge. James felt like he swallowed something sour when he saw the small golden badge.

"This belongs to you," Remus said firmly.

"No," James said shaking his head. "I was being serious when I said that Dumbledore made a mistake."

"He didn't," Remus explained. "You are a born leader. A true Gryffidor. Brave. Loyal. Fierce. Exactly what a Head Boy is. All I do is make sure everyone is in line. You also ensure people have FUN. That way people will respect you."

James swallowed and picked up the tiny badge. Maybe he did deserve it. It wasn't like Albus Dumbledore ever made a mistake.

"Make us proud!" Remus grinned punching him lightly on the shoulder. It was slightly out of character for him.

_I will_, James promised in his head. _I will also make Lily proud._


	2. Just Know

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Important Note:** I live in Australia and in our school we have School Captains. I believe this is the equivalent to Head Boys and Head Girls…? Sorry, I'm just a little confused. Also, in Australia, we have vice-captains…I was wondering if there are equivalents to those? AND (this is the last thing) is there anything in Australia that is equivalent to prefects? It's just that with a little more information, I would understand the statuses a bit more. :)

I have (thanks to nice people!) have been given explanations but anymore is also welcomed! XD

**Feedback to Reviews:** Hehe. My favourite sub-heading.

Mortal Tears: Thanks for the invite! I'd like to but there's one problem…the link didn't come up…? even when i try highlighting…there's nothing there. :( i could be doing something wrong.

Norah: thank you. XD i'm trying to sound authentic. and you WERE help. i live in vic and yeah, we have house captains but no prefects and there were no terms on head boy and girl. there were srcs? HAPPY NEW YEAR!! XD

Magically Hermione: thank you, thank you. i have spell-check to help. haha. i hope to maintain the standard…School captains here, they don't really do much. just do speeches and that goes for vice-captains as well. they can't hand out detentions (no student can, damn!), take away any points and can't really tell off the student. all they do is do speeches and greet guests, seriously.

MatoakeWilde: thank you! haha, awesome. i'm not the only one lost. i guess you just have to go with the way it is. i thought prefects were from the 1800s or something. haha

Chocochip2000: I LIKE YOU for reviewing. XD here's another chapter. yay.

THANK YOU all for reviewing! thank you to others who added me as a favourite author/story and put me under alerts. XD i in return, shall offer my love (i suppose you guys don't want that haha) and…a chapter.

**Chapter Two:: Just Know**

Lily groaned as she collapsed on the sofa of her new common room. As Head Boy and Girl, Lily and James had their own common room that they only shared with each other. Lucky, much?

Lily was tired and not to mention, full. At the Great Hall, Dumbledore had greeted them with grace and love but Lily still didn't feel comfortable. That was because James was only three seats away and it still freaked her out slightly that he wasn't back to his usual self. Was she the cause? So she resorted to the delicious food displayed on the table to keep her mind of him. Now she felt like a pig.

The portrait opened and James came stumbling in. He still had a slightly haunted look on his face.

Lily felt her heart pound faster. Actually, her heart always pounded when James was near now that she thought about it. She had always thought it was because he was making her angry but right now he wasn't doing anything wrong. So what was wrong with her?

James ignored her and went straight to his dorm. Funny how they still separated the stairs to either a girl or boy dorm but there was only just one dorm in the girl's and boy's quarter. No complaints. Just more room.

Lily couldn't help the sharp feeling of hurt that rose in her body. For the first time that she knew James Potter, this was the first time that he ignored her. And she never thought that she'd dislike it.

Lily nibbled on her bottom lip. She should act like the mature witch she was supposed to be and ask him what was wrong. But what if he did something that made her feel even worse? Like ignore her question too?

Lily shook her head. None of his feelings should matter to her anyway. And she might as well talk to James. It was more tolerable than this stupid silence the two of them now shared.

She slowly walked up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Potter?" she called softly. Her heart was now pounding furiously and she didn't know why. Maybe it was the preparation of trying to endure his remarks.

James opened the door and made her heart stopped. _Oh, Merlin_, Lily thought. _What is happening to me? My heart didn't just stop…did it? That just…wouldn't make sense._ She gulped as she looked into his eyes. They were still the marvellous hazel colour but it portrayed no emotions.

"What do you want?" he asked. It wasn't a sneer nor was it a gentle wonder. It was just a question. No other emotion behind it.

"I…uh," Lily stuttered. _Oh no,_ Lily thought with a sinking heart. _Am I STUTTERING?_ Since when did _she _stutter? "Are you mad at me or something?"

There. It was all out. The question that had been nagging her since he exited the compartment on the train. But even if he was mad at her, why would he be mad? They always quarrelled so why should this one be any different?

Now Lily was angry. Angry that James was ignoring her after six years at Hogwarts. Angry that James was Head Boy while she was Head Girl. Angry that she was standing outside his dorm. Angry that James was making her angry.

"Well?" she demanded.

James didn't answer straight away. This was new for her. Normally, he had a smart retort on the tip of his tongue. Lily would then have to quickly think of a counter-attack for his comments. But this time, James wasn't retaliating.

"Why would I be?" he asked in a low, husky voice. It made the small hairs on her arms stand on ends. Which made her angrier.

It didn't help that he was leaning on the side of his door so his black hair flopped over his eyes. His frame was on a slight angle so they were eye-to-eye. Like how they used to be back in First Year.

"Well, you are ignoring me for one," Lily pointed out.

James smirked for the first time since he left the compartment. Lily felt a rush of relief flood through her body. He was almost back to his usual self. His eyes now danced with mischief and there was now a healthy glow emitting off his smooth skin.

"I thought you'd like that," James simpered.

Lily opened her mouth to protest but now she was lost for words. Of course everyone thought that she'd be joyous if James no longer annoyed her but…she wasn't. She was more annoyed that he didn't acknowledge her presence anymore.

"I'd prefer it if you noticed that you're not the only one in this world and that I'm living and breathing too," Lily replied.

Another long pause from James. Why was he taking so long to reply? This just made her even more jumpy due to the tension. She didn't want to look directly in his eyes, they were always mesmerising. Normally, he would snap back quickly so the only thing she could think of was what to say back. But now…

"If that's what flows for you," James said finally.

Lily narrowed her eyes.

"Are you trying to annoy me?" she demanded.

James gaped at her and then straightened himself. Great. Now he was towering over her once again.

"No!" he exclaimed. "I'm quite sure I've done that for the last six years. I'm trying to _not_ annoy you for once."

"Why?" Lily asked perplexed.

James let out a breath of frustration. Now this was the James she remembered. The one who found her frustrating.

"Are you trying to annoy me?" he mocked. "It's our last year EVER. I'd like to leave the school knowing that I'm on good terms with everyone. And that includes you. Because you're living and breathing too."

Lily was once again lost for words. He sounded genuine, pure – something that she thought she'd never see in James. Or maybe she decided James could never be that and he actually was.

However, there was something else she was going to ask about his explanation. What about Severus? Was he going to make amends with him too?

Instead, she'd like to keep the way things were going. James wasn't a _bad_ guy; he just liked mischief.

"Okay," Lily said. "It's weird for me when you're nice…or ignoring me."

"I wasn't ignoring you," James said. "Just trying not to annoy you. I wouldn't like to annoy you for the entire year."

"It's weird that you're not annoying me," Lily said.

"It's weird for me too," James agreed.

There was another silence. Although Lily was trying hard to look past James's eyes, she could still feel him looking at her as if trying to read behind her eyes. She didn't know what she was feeling exactly. It wasn't like she enjoyed the teasing…right?

"So…this is how we're going to be?" Lily asked in a strangely, high voice.

"If that's what flows with you," James said once again.

"Stop it!" she said growing frustrated. "You're changing too much right now! You tease me, annoy me, laugh at me and now you're throwing all the options back to me! You normally do what YOU want!"

"You'd like me to be that fat-head kid who can't fly off on a broom?" James mocked.

Lily was taking in deep breaths due to her anger but now she froze. He remembered what she said in Fifth Year? It didn't matter that _she _remembered everything he said to her (beautiful rose in the garden, eyes like gems, smile like a princess) but for _him_ to remember? Wow.

"Well…that way I know how to handle you," Lily concluded.

Not that she wanted to control James. She liked how he was wild and care-free. But she also wanted to know what would be acceptable to say to him without looking like a Squib.

"Fine," James said with his trademark smirk. "I'll be the immature guy who can't control his mouth buy you have to remember that you chose this way to communicate."

"I will," Lily said meeting his eyes equally.

Another tense pause.

James opened his mouth.

"Just know…" His voice trailed off and his smirk slipped his face. He looked almost sad and desperate.

"Know what?" Lily prompted softly. Her heart was thumping in her ears and she was scared she'd miss his words.

"Nothing," James said with a little shake of his head. "Go to bed, Evans. It's been a long day. And we have to wake up early to meet Dumbledore so he can tell us what 'to do' as Head Boy and Girl."

Lily searched his eyes. They were well hidden. No portrayal of what he was going to say.

"Fine," Lily said turning around and making her way down the stairs.

"Sweet dreams."

Lily almost turned back around but maybe she was hearing things. Maybe that's what she'd hear in her dreams.

………………………………………………………

James Potter had come to a conclusion that he had it _really, really_ bad for Lily Evans. She was standing so close and all he felt like doing was crushing her to his chest and kiss away any doubts she had about him. He could barely focus on her words or make his brain function to form words. It was getting worse and worse with each encounter.

He couldn't believe what he was going to say: Just know that I care about you. For Gryffidor's sake, what would that do to their fragile relationship? Lily would burst out laughing and James heart would just be filled with remorse and embarrassment. He was chasing a girl who didn't care about him.

He just had it bad for Lily. Did she know how much of an effect she had on him? Probably. Who doesn't? And he was sure she affected everyone like this. How couldn't she?

And…well…yes, he _was _ignoring her. He didn't want to make it any worse for them and he did think that was what she wanted. Apparently not. He was happier that she'd like him to keep in contact. It was another surprise for him. Lily never ceased to surprise him.

He really needed someone to talk to.

He pulled out his special, enchanted mirror and whispered: Sirius.

Like always, Sirius never replied straight off. He was too busy looking at Muggle mirrors to admire his good looks.

"Sirius!" James whispered urgently again. _Finally_, his face appeared.

"Prongs," Sirius complained half-awake. "Have I ever mentioned how much I despise this mirror? I have to say 'James', that is just sad."

"Yes, you have, a thousand times," James said rolling his eyes. Sirius was always like this when he was tired. "I need to talk to someone."

"I'm the best listener."

"Right, you are. I don't know what to do about Evans."

"You say that, like, a thousand times," Sirius mimicked.

"Shut up," James said trying not to blush as he realised his best friend was right. "It's just…I tried to be mature and gentlemanly so I…uh…ignored her. But that was only for now. I was going to talk to her after. And she confronted me and said she didn't like it. And now we're back to how we were in First Year…fighting or something."

"Prongs," Sirius said looking at James sadly. "You looked miserable."

"Shut up!" James repeated. "Not miserable. Confused!"

"If you want me to shut up, I can't give you advice," Sirius pointed out bluntly.

"You're right, Padfoot, my bad," James said solemnly. "It's just I don't want to annoy Evans all the time but she prefers that."

"That is strange, I suppose," Sirius said after awhile. "You'll work it out, Head Boy."

"Stop teasing me about that," James said. "At least I'm no longer in a dorm with Snivellus."

"Damn you," Sirius growled. "I feel like being a rat and biting him sometimes. But the oily skin will stain my teeth."

James laughed. Sirius was always a great person to talk to when you're down.

"Shameful," James agreed. "So you have no advice for me?"

"Not today, Prongs," Sirius said with a possible feigned regretful expression. "Just know that Evans doesn't hate you. She doesn't pay that much attention to any other guy and I'm pretty sure she's straight or else she'll crack onto Mindy."

"What about Snivellus?" James asked quietly. "She hangs around with him."

"You know how Evans is," Sirius said. "Taking pity for the lonely."

"Hmm…" James said uncertainly.

"I'm right, Prongs, I always am," Sirius said with a grin. "I'm heading off now. I can hear slurred, heavy footsteps coming down to the common room. I bet you it's Snivellus coming down to perve on me. That lonely slimeball. Laters!"

"Night," James replied as Sirius ended their connection.

James sighed as he flopped onto his bed. Well…even if he can't kiss Lily in reality, he could kiss her in his dreams.


	3. The Highs and Lows of Being Head Boy

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Important Note:** I live in Australia and in our school we have School Captains. I believe this is the equivalent to Head Boys and Head Girls…? Sorry, I'm just a little confused. Also, in Australia, we have vice-captains…I was wondering if there are equivalents to those? AND (this is the last thing) is there anything in Australia that is equivalent to prefects? It's just that with a little more information, I would understand the statuses a bit more. :)

I have (thanks to nice people!) have been given explanations but anymore is also welcomed! XD

**Feedback to Review:** Damn. No plural this time. LoL.

Chocochip2000: I THANK YOU for reviewing. XD and nah **I** like you more since it requires effort to read and then click a button, type a few words, and press send. reviews make me feel special and i always reply. XD

**Chapter Three:: The Highs and Lows of Being Head Boy**

James rolled over on his bed and groaned. Was it daytime yet? Was he still dreaming? No, he couldn't dreaming. If he was, Lily would be in bed with him…

James yawned and opened an eye. The sunlight's golden glow highlighted his room.

"Dang it," James muttered as he sat up. He ruffled his hair (it would be better than bed hair) and put on his glasses. He could now see his luggage, which wasn't unpacked yet.

It was weird waking up by himself. Normally, Sirius would prance on him and if he was mischievous, turn into a hamster and have a chop at his fingers. Although James like mischief, he always told Sirius to be cautious, especially with Snivellus snoring his head off. Eventually, Sirius decided to be a good little wizard and no longer woke James up by trying to bite off his fingers. He just jumped on him. Which was just as lovely.

James checked the time. 6AM. One hour before he and Lily had to visit Dumbledore. Might as well hit the showers and ensure he looked decent enough to catch Lily's attention.

……………………………………………………….

Lily gasped as she sat up straight on her bed. It was 6.45AM! How was she supposed to get ready in that time? She knew that many people may presume she didn't take any care in her image but the truth was, she did! Especially with the best-looking 7th Year so close!

Lily groaned as she quickly changed. Mindy always woke up early so she'd wake Lily as well but now Lily slept by herself. And last year all the Prefect girls slept together and the Ravenclaw Prefect would open the blinds as soon as she woke up. The light woke Lily up as well.

Lily looked at her reflection. A mess. She had bags under her eyes (she couldn't sleep knowing that James slept so close) and hair looked oily. Her skin also looked dry and she could see a zit as large as the Snitch James played with. The good thing? She was a witch. A smart witch. And these problems were easily fixed.

She muttered a few charms and soon she looked neat, fresh and healthy. So she couldn't alter her eyes, body or her hair but she could get rid of zits and many other imperfections.

After hastily putting on her robes and sweeping her hair in a ponytail, Lily made her way downstairs. James was nowhere in sight. Was she supposed to wait for him? Damn, why didn't she clear any questions she had yesterday night?

James then walked through the portrait easing Lily's worries. However, he looked…pretty…good. He obviously showered as his hair was wet and flat on his head. There were a few drops of water trickling down his neck, which were absorbed by the blue towel around his neck. He was only in a bathroom robe.

Lily felt dizzy. She had to admit James was a really good-looking guy but she had never seen him so…fresh. She had to ensure she wasn't having naughty thoughts such as the muscles she knew he had under the robe...

"Morning, Evans!" James grinned.

"Good morning," Lily said rather hoarsely.

"Good to see you're ready," James said not losing his grin. "I'll be with you, just give me a second to get ready."

He disappeared up his dorm leaving Lily to gather up her thoughts. Why were her feelings so chaotic this year? He was still the _same_ James Potter. The one who hexed people for fun, who showed off with the Snitch, who made life a nightmare for Severus…But maybe she was only focusing on his bad qualities. He did have good qualities too. He was good-looking (okay, so he couldn't control this), loyal to his friends and trying to make teachers laugh. He just wanted to have a good time. There wasn't anything bad with that.

James soon appeared in his rich robe looking like a true Head Boy.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yes!" Lily piped.

"Would you like me to escort you?"

"You already are," Lily pointed out.

"There's an arm waiting here for you," James called softly showing the arm he extended.

Lily tried not to blush. She was mesmerised by his eyes that she didn't see that he had offered his arm.

"We're visiting the Headmaster not going to a ball," she said hotly.

"Fine," James shrugged and withdrew his arm. "I just thought that we should arrive with style."

"Whatever," Lily said. "We're going to be late. Let's go."

James rolled his eye and followed her out of the portrait. Due to her nerves, Lily lost her slipping when she exited. _I'm an idiot!_ Lily thought blushing as red as her hair but James had caught her around the waist.

"You okay?" James whispered into her ear. Lily tried her best not to shiver and was sure she imagined genuine concern laced in his words.

"Yes!" Lily said indignantly turning around to push him off her.

That's when she realised she had never stood so close to him before. Never been _held _by him before. Her eyes were practically level with his inviting lips. She could see the smooth planes of his face and how impossibly long his dark eyelashes were. Why did a guy get as lucky to have such pretty eyelashes…? And the way he was holding her. Merlin, his arms held a grand amount of strength and he made her feel…safe. Possibly…cared.

_Oh, Merlin_, Lily thought, feeling dizzy again. _I hope he can't hear how fast my heart is beating_. But she could hear the loud, quick _thump, thumps_ of her heart. She thought she could hear his too…but she knew it was her imagination.

"Get off me," Lily growled after finding her voice.

James quickly released her as if his hands were burnt. At this sudden abruptness and the loss of heat from his body, Lily nearly loss her footing again. She scowled herself and waited for James to follow.

As the portrait closed, Lily thought that she saw the portrait lady dressed in yellow give her a knowing wink. What? It wasn't like she lost her footing on purpose.

"Are you coming?" James asked from up ahead. He turned back to look at her. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," Lily said quickly. She was to have a word with this portrait lady. She dragged her eyes off her and focused on James's hazel eyes. "Let's go."

The two of them walked alongside each other in silence. Lily decided it was best that they did not speak. Imagine how silly words could sound when she uttered them.

"I hope this doesn't take long," James muttered as they reached the statue to the Headmaster's office.

"Hmm…" Lily said. "Do you know the password?"

"The note said his favourite Muggle creation was a computer," James explained. After hearing the word 'computer', the statue revealed the pathway to Dumbledore's office. A confused look came over James's face. "I was always meant to ask: What is a computer?"

Lily laughed. How was she supposed to explain this to a pure-blood, who has only ever experienced magic?

"It runs off electricity and you have a keyboard and a mouse that comes with it. You can play games, type to a friend, listen to music…it's pretty technical," Lily explained as best as she could.

James still looked blank.

"What's electricity and keyboard? And why would there be a mouse? And how would you 'type' to a friend? I don't get you," James said looking even more confused.

Lily laughed again. He was finding the ordinary world as confusing as she first learnt of the wizarding world.

"It's not an animal mouse. It's a thing called a mouse. I'll show you a computer one day."

As they walked through the small passage to Dumbledore's office, James still looked like he wanted to ask a question.

"You look like you want to ask something," Lily noted.

"Yeah," James said, avoiding eye-contact for once. "Was that the first time I made you laugh?"

They were now outside Dumbledore's office and Lily felt like she was rooted to the spot. _My Goodness_, Lily thought. _It was._

"No," she lied. "I laugh when you sometimes can't catch the Snitch outside of class. I laugh when you make funny motions on your broomstick during Quidditch matches. I laugh when you get hit with a Bludger."

"Bludgers hurt," James mumbled still avoiding eye-contact.

_I'd think so,_ Lily thought as her heart squeezed painfully. _I don't laugh when I see you get hit with a Bludger. I can't breathe._

"I thought nothing could penetrate you," Lily teased.

James gave a half-hearted smile.

"You got one thing wrong," he replied.

He went to knock on the door but at the last second the door swung open on its own accord.

"Come in." Dumbledore's warm, welcoming voice floated to them outside.

James shrugged at Lily and then walked in. Lily hesitantly followed.

…………………………………………………………..

James knew that right now impressing Dumbledore was important. He knew that Dumbledore could strip his status of Head Boy in a second but right now, he didn't care.

Lily laughed _at_ him not _with_ him as he had hoped. Her laughter was music to his ears. It sounded like the gentle clinking of a spoon against a tall glass. He was enthralled.

She was probably laughing at how stupid he was for not knowing what a computer was. He bet that 'perfect' Snivellus knew what a computer was.

"How are we this morning?" Dumbledore asked.

"Good," James and Lily said in unison. James was lying through his perfect, white teeth; lying and improvising was becoming second nature to him.

Dumbledore laughed. Although his laugh was warm and friendly, it could never beat Lily's beautiful laugh. It was the first time he had heard Lily laugh. And he'd make a fool of himself to hear it again.

"First of all," Dumbledore started. "I wanted to congratulate the two of you for earning the role of Head Boy and Girl. Believe me, it wasn't an easy process to conduct but I am proud of the results. Our meeting today is to discuss the importance of your roles, what is expected from you and what you should expect. At the end of my explanation, you may decline the offer as Head Boy or Girl if you desire."

James felt like he had lost a duel to Snivellus. Being a Head Boy came with loads of responsibilities. He had once dreamt of being Head Boy (with Lily as Head Girl, of course) but he just thought that all a Head Boy did was dish out detentions, deduct points and get away with anything. He was wrong.

"As Head Boy and Girl you are to attend all meetings with Prefects to discuss what can be done to improve the standards of our school. There's a meeting every week on Tuesday evening and every fortnight, you will have to report to me what has been discussed. This is held every two Thursdays. You are also to greet any guests we have and to ensure they feel welcome. You will need to patrol the school from 5AM-8AM and 10PM-1AM on Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. You may patrol individually or in partners; there just has to be at least one Head patrolling the school. Tuesdays will be patrolled by prefects, as Miss. Evans has already learnt. The Prefects change so you have to ensure the assigned prefect turns up for their duty."

Dumbledore paused in his long explanation to stroke his long beard. Finally deciding that neither James nor Lily was going to decline (yet), he continued.

"You also earn the power to deduct house points and distribute detentions but you must be in charge of the detention. I know this whole process of Head Boy and Girl might sound stressful and daunting, especially in the most important year of you schooling, but it does pay off. You practically have equal status with the staff and can attend staff meetings if you wish. And just imagine how this would like on your resume!"

Dumbledore finished off with a laugh.

"Any questions?"

James shook his head along with Lily.

"Good, good," Dumbledore chuckled. "I knew the brightest students would understand the terms fully. So I presume the two of you accept your duty as Head Boy and Girl?"

Although he was talking to the two of them, James felt like he was only talking to him. It was like Dumbledore was challenging him; to test whether he was capable to be Head Boy.

"Yes," Lily said firmly. James knew she would be Head Girl as soon as he first saw her.

"Yes," James echoed with less certainty.

"Good, good," Dumbledore said once again. "You may now leave and get ready for class. Just be sure that if you abuse the trust given to you, you will no longer be Head Boy or Girl of Hogwarts."

_Merlin, help me_, James thought. Would he be able to suit the requirement of Head Boy?

"Thank you, professor," Lily said standing up. "I am honoured to be Head Girl."

James followed suit.

"It is my pleasure to accept this opportunity you grant us," James said sincerely.

Dumbledore laughed once again.

"The honour and pleasure is mine," Dumbledore said standing up and shaking their hands. "You will lead Hogwarts into a Golden Age."

James gave a forced smile and followed Lily out the door. Maybe Dumbledore was now expressing his old age. Did he seriously believe that James Potter would 'lead Hogwarts into a Golden Age'? James had doubts but he wasn't going to decline when it granted an opportunity for him to know Lily better. Or just to be simply around her, even if she fogged his head and if she hated him.

"You okay, Potter?" Lily asked glancing at him sceptically. "You looked lost in thought."

"Why didn't you ask him why Moony didn't get Head Boy?" he asked.

"Who's Moony?" Lily asked looking confused.

Oh, right. He had never explained to Lily his friends' nicknames or _why_ the nicknames were the way they were. He always had this feeling that Lily might rat him out.

"Remus," James explained. It felt weird saying his first name.

"Why didn't _you_ ask?" Lily shot back.

James didn't answer. He just simply didn't want to be a coward asking Dumbledore.

"Look," Lily said interrupting his thoughts. "If you want to know, we can just go back in and ask."

"No," James said quickly. "But even you thought Remus was Head Boy."

"I'm not always right, remember?" Lily said. "And Dumbledore _is_ always right. If he made a mistake, he would've recognised you weren't Remus when you walked in."

"What if he felt like he couldn't take back what he gave?" James asked desperately.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him.

"Cold feet, huh?" she asked. "If you don't want to be Head Boy, just tell Dumbledore instead of coming up with excuses."

"It's just…" James trailed off. He just wasn't sure he deserved it but he didn't want to tell Lily. "Nothing. Let's eat. I've heard from the Head Boy last year that we have access to the kitchens before they set up."

"Look who knows so much about Heads," Lily teased.

"I've still got much to learn," James said quietly.

Lily searched his eyes. James tried his best not to emit the feelings he had for her from his eyes.

"And least you don't get things wrong," Lily smirked.

She gave the tiniest smile and walked in the direction towards the kitchen. James watched in awe, like always, and followed.


	4. A Secret

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Important Note:** I live in Australia and in our school we have School Captains. I believe this is the equivalent to Head Boys and Head Girls…? Sorry, I'm just a little confused. Also, in Australia, we have vice-captains…I was wondering if there are equivalents to those? AND (this is the last thing) is there anything in Australia that is equivalent to prefects? It's just that with a little more information, I would understand the statuses a bit more. :)

I have (thanks to nice people!) have been given explanations but anymore is also welcomed! XD

**Feedback to Reviews:** Yay! this subheading is still up.

Chocochip2000: SIFF, my friend. LoL. i like you MORE because you review and make me feel spesh and make me realise someone IS reading my chapters. XD can't beat that reason. and yes, severus will be in the story but will probably appear every 2-3 chapters. he's like an antagonist. i just LOVE his character. i feel so sorry for him in the last HP book. because there are some people who are like him (cough me cough). ;

lilfarie: thank you for commenting my last few chapters! i'm glad you're LOVIN' it because i feel loved that someone's reading. XD but you're more flippin' awesome than i'll ever be! ;

**Chapter Four:: A Secret**

"Yum," Lily commented as she delicately took another bite of her hot pancake. They were in the kitchens with house-elves and Lily had helped herself to a pancake.

James gave her a smile and took another bite as well. Lily could tell that something was bothering him.

She really regretted telling James that Remus deserved to be Head Boy. Now that she thought about it, James Potter deserved it as much as anyone else. He had improved over the years and she was sure he had hexed less people last year. And he wasn't exactly intellectually-challenged. When professors ask him for answers, he always got them right. Maybe she just thought he was scraping by his subjects.

"You sure you're okay?" Lily asked.

James looked up and locked eyes with hers. His hazel eyes were just…breathtaking. Neither green nor brown…

"Yeah, but did you hear about our patrolling times?" he asked in a low voice. "10PM-1AM, 5AM-8AM. That only leaves us with four hours sleep."

Lily laughed. She liked watching James uncertain. Normally he was always so sure what he wanted to do and what should be done.

"Didn't you hear from the Head Boy last year?" she teased. When he didn't answer, she continued. "The Head Girl last year told me how she handled it. One would take morning hours and the other would take evening hours."

"No!" James said quickly. Lily slightly jumped back at his quick response. He then quickly gathered himself. "I meant, like, wouldn't that be dangerous?"

"Potter," Lily said shaking her head. "We're both capable of taking care of ourselves and I don't want to be sleep-deprived. If you want us to patrol together then it should be Monday evenings and Wednesday mornings as we have nothing on Tuesday."

"Shouldn't this task be shared between us?" he asked quietly.

"It is!" Lily tried to point out. "I think I'll take evenings since you might have Quidditch practice. You can have the mornings to patrol."

"What?" James said looking baffled. "That's ridiculous. It's even more dangerous at night. We can swap times. I don't even see why we have to patrol at such idiotic hours."

Lily could see that James was getting really worked up. Did it have something to do with how he was still slightly insecure at being Head Boy?

"It's fine," Lily said. "And someone has to patrol during the hours where people would be most up to mischief."

"This is absurd!" James protested. "We shouldn't have to patrol at such hours. Who would be more troublesome than me?"

Lily smirked.

"You never know, you always sneaked out every month at the full moon," she mused.

"How did you know that?" James asked sharply. Lily was taken aback at his quick remark.

"Severus told me…" she said quietly.

"Yeah…well…yeah. Listen, I have an idea on how to patrol without patrolling," James said hesitantly. "I just need to know that I can trust you."

Lily narrowed her eyes. She didn't like it when James looked serious and secretive. He would be even more mischievous than normal. And possibly law-breaking.

"Is it dangerous?" she asked. "Would I be breaking school rules?"

"No," James said taking a deep breath. "You'll be safe; safer than if you actually patrolled. But you can't tell _anyone_."

Lily's frown lines deepened.

"You're acting weird," she said.

"I know," James said shooting her a quick apologetic look. "I'm just a bit freaked because if the information falls in the wrong hand, I could be in deep trouble. I…I should talk to the guys about it."

"It involves them?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said grimly.

"Okay," Lily said taking a deep breath. "I've came to a decision that whatever it is you plan to tell me, it's dangerous and against the rules. You must tell me before this day ends or else I'm taking you to Dumbledore."

James let out a frustrated growl and nearly dropped his plate. The kitchen elves looked at them in fright.

"Why do you always have to be impossible?" he hissed. "I'm doing this for…whatever, Evans. Let me talk to the boys. If they don't let me, take me to Dumbledore. Take this golden badge off me. Send me back home!"

He then stormed off. Lily's frown turned into a grimace. She hated it when James was yelling at her because he was in a bad mood.

………………………………………..

"NO!" Sirius practically shouted and alerted all the Gryffindor around them. Normally Sirius would wink at the girls but this morning his eyes were glued onto James.

"Why not?" James hissed. He didn't like attracting all this attention especially about something illegal. He was sure that Lily was looking too.

"How do you know to trust her?" Sirius sneered. "And no offence but she hates you. She'd do anything to get you expelled."

_Thanks_, James thought in his head with a pang of hurt. Hearing that the princess of his life hated him from his best friend wasn't the nicest thing that could happen.

"But she doesn't hate Moony," James argued. "We have to patrol at such stupid hours, having the Marau – "

James never got to finish his sentence when Sirius muttered the Silencing Spell on him. James glared at him but could do nothing without the use of his voice.

"We _agreed_ not to mention that…_map_ in public!" Sirius hisses. "If someone found out, like Snivellus, we would be expelled. It is final that Evans must not know about it!"

James continued to glare at his best friend but Sirius just glared back.

James willed Sirius to understand. Having the Marauder Map would mean that they could just stay in the Common Room and not have to go out in the cold and face Peeves or some other horrendous magic that could occur.

Sirius finally thought that James had calmed down and muttered the counter spell. This time James drew out his wand in case Sirius decided to put some spell on him. His argument was not finished.

"This is not _your_ decision," James said. Sirius made a movement but James raised his wand warningly. "We _all _get to decide."

"Fine," Sirius said keeping an eye on the wand. "Moony, Wormtail…what do you say?"

Peter was practically squirming in his chair and seemed to be shrinking in it. James had the urge to hex him. Why didn't that guy ever have a voice of his own? He always had to please people.

Remus, on the other hand, was purposely ignoring them and had a strained look on his face. James felt like hexing him too for not speaking up either.

But most of all, James felt like hexing Sirius. Couldn't he just see the brilliance of it if Lily had it in her possession? They could just sit at the fire and look at the corridors instead of _walking_ around like a complete pair of whackos. The made the Marauder's Map to _help _people and this was the perfect opportunity.

"Padfoot did say - ," James said angrily as Remus and Peter didn't answer. However, Remus did end up speaking. Calmly, in fact.

"I think we should all talk somewhere quiet."

"Yeah!" Peter piped.

"Fine," James hissed standing up. He was aware that practically the whole school was watching them. They all knew that he and his friends never had a quarrel. He lowered his wand as teachers were peering at him suspiciously. "Hurry up, Padfoot."

"After you, _Head Boy_," Sirius growled. James cringed but held his anger. Lashing out at his friends here was not a good idea.

So James, fuming inside with anger and determination, followed his friends out of the Dining Hall for privacy.

…………………………………………………….

"I already ate," Lily said thickly as Mindy offered her some muffins.

Lily was only a few seats away and had witnessed everything that had happened between James Potter and his friends. And she knew it was because of letting her on a secret. A _map_ if she heard correctly. What could be so bad about that? She so desperately wanted to know…but she also didn't want to know in fear that it was something of the Dark Arts.

Lily broke from her thoughts as Mindy laughed. Lily turned her head to see that Severus had held a cup too tightly and Pumpkin Juice had splattered all over his face and the new robes Lily had bought him for his birthday.

"Why'd you do that?" Mindy gasped between laughter. Severus scowled at her and muttered a few spells to clean himself up.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked gently. She always felt like she had to look out for him; as if he was a lost child who needed nurture and love.

"Fine," he muttered.

Lily frowned. Why was he holding his cup so hard? The question soon disappeared when Sirius entered the Dining Hall alone. Her heart sped up when he headed straight for her. She immediately thought of James and wondered if he was okay.

"I need to talk to you," Sirius said in a low voice, locking eyes with Lily. Lily hid a gulp. She had never seen Sirius looked so…serious. It was scary. Normally he would be smirking or laughing at someone. Laughing at Severus, in fact, yet he was paying no attention to him.

"Hey, Sirius," Mindy called batting her long, dark eyelashes at him. She flicked back her wavy, black hair flirtatiously.

Sirius dragged his eyes off Lily's for a few seconds to look at Mindy. Lily knew that Mindy was gorgeous and sometimes she thought that she and Sirius liked each other. Lily didn't know a lot about Sirius, but from what she heard, the two had almost exactly the same personality.

"Parker," Sirius greeted Mindy. He always called everyone by their last name (like James) unless it came to Severus (who was called Snivellus) or his friends. They called each other weird things.

"Evans," Sirius said directing his attention back at Lily. "I need to talk to you."

_Might as well_, Lily thought grimly standing up. She knew she could take down Sirius if he tried something on her.

"Can I come?" Mindy asked widening her large, honey-coloured eyes.

Before Sirius could reply, Severus had stood up and uttered: "No."

Sirius glanced at Severus and a smirk reached his lips. He almost looked like his usual self.

"Well, hello there, _Snivellus_, but I'm sure Miss. Parker was talking to me," Sirius sneered.

Lily found it surprising that Severus continued to face him. Severus _hardly_ defended himself. He would just curse about them when they finally stopped bullying him.

"Whatever you want to say to Lily, you can say it in front of everyone," Severus said tonelessly.

"Just because no-one talks to _you_ doesn't mean that people don't want to talk to Evans," Sirius said nastily.

"Sirius!" Lily snapped. "Stop being such an airhead! Whatever you want to tell me, I don't care!"

Lily glared at him and plonked back down on her chair leaving Sirius and Severus standing and glaring at each other.

"Evans," Sirius said not breaking eye contact with Severus. "Pron – Potter wants to see you too. It's something about Head duties. You wouldn't want to miss it."

Lily narrowed her eyes sceptically. She was sure James could've called her himself but she had no choice but to oblige. Head duties were a huge matter.

"Fine," Lily said standing back up again. She laid an arm on Severus. "I'll be back soon."

Severus's face seemed to soften and he nodded. Throwing another glare in Sirius's direction, he sat down.

"Bye, Sirius!" Mindy called as Lily followed Sirius out the Dining Hall.

Sirius paused, turned around, and made a wist of clouds form into kisses back to Mindy. Mindy turned slightly pink and winked back. Lily rolled her eyes. The two so had it bad for each other.

As soon as they left the eyes of students and teachers, Sirius forcefully grabbed her into the janitor's closet.

"Whaa - ," Lily yelped as Sirius pinned down her arms. She panicked. She couldn't reach her wand and Sirius was scaring her.

"Shut up," Sirius hissed as his grip tightened. Lily winced and Sirius saw her reaction and let go. Lily hastily grabbed her wand but Sirius already had his withdrawn.

"Move or I'll jinx you," Lily threatened as her heart raced with fear.

"I can defend," Sirius said flatly as he waved his wand in her face. "I needed to talk to you alone and mentioning Head duties was the only way you would follow me."

"Well, I don't care!" Lily shouted. She had calmed down realising that Sirius really did look like he just wanted to 'talk'.

"It's about…James."

Lily's heart froze for a moment before she shouted once again, "I don't CARE!"

"Well _I_ do!" Sirius growled. "My best friend is head over heels for you! He has been since he first SAW you! He would do ANYTHING for you including putting Remus, Peter and my life in danger!"

Lily trembled and tried not to sniffle. Her heart was still pounding. Would James really do all that for…her? It wasn't like Sirius liked making James look like a love-struck fool. Not that James _loved_ her.

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked quietly.

Sirius took in a deep breath.

"Because he wants to share something with you that I don't agree to!"

"Well if it's not something bad, why can't he share it?" Lily demanded.

"Because it is something 'bad'. Not life-threatening bad like you would think but just not…acceptable. And I swear if you tell _anyone _that we're hiding something_ …_" Sirius's threat lingered but did not finish.

"Well," Lily said taking in shallow breaths. "If it's not 'life-threatening', I'll keep it a secret too."

Sirius eyed her sceptically.

"You hate James. You'd do anything not to see his face again, do anything to get him expelled," Sirius said.

"I don't _hate_ him!" Lily said shocked. Hate was such a strong word and to hate someone would not want to see their face again or get them expelled. She did like having James around…sometimes.

"Anyway," Lily pressed on now sure that she wanted to know the 'secret' their on. "I don't hate Remus either and I know him. He is a good student and would not do anything reckless. I'm also…starting to know…James…and he wouldn't do something reckless either. I'm sure whatever it is you boys are hiding, there's a good reason."

Sirius cocked his head to the side and gave an amused grin.

"Okay, Evans," Sirius said. "I'll tell James it's a-okay to tell you. But your perception on Remus and James might change. Your perception on Peter and me might change too…"

Lily frowned trying to decipher his words but it still made no sense.

"Don't frown," Sirius smirked. "You'll like to look pretty for James. Oh and just to clear whatever it is you're complicated head is thinking, I do sincerely apologise if I scared you or something. I was just angry at James, nothing about you."

"Oh…right," Lily replied glad that Sirius explained his odd behaviour.

"I'll see you around," Sirius said and left Lily by herself in the closet.

She was shaking again. She knew that she was now left alone to gather up her thoughts but there were all chaotic. What were the boys hiding??


	5. The Marauders

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Important Note:** I live in Australia and in our school we have School Captains. I believe this is the equivalent to Head Boys and Head Girls…? Sorry, I'm just a little confused. Also, in Australia, we have vice-captains…I was wondering if there are equivalents to those? AND (this is the last thing) is there anything in Australia that is equivalent to prefects? It's just that with a little more information, I would understand the statuses a bit more. :)

I have (thanks to nice people!) have been given explanations but anymore is also welcomed! XD

**Feedback to Reviews:** so HAPPY. most reviews for a chapter, i think. XD

obobob20: thank you very, very muchly. i hope this isn't too late. . 

Chocochip2000: you can argue all you want but I like you more! reviews and chocolate – i'd be a fool if i didn't!

Shakesperian Love: glad you like it! and thank you for recommending, i feel spesh. hugglez & kizzlez to you too. your signature. XD i like.

lilfarie: i'll mention you always if you want. XD yeah i felt guilty over Sirius a bit – i make up for it here. and i suppose you're a witch to know the secret. ; mwahs!

**Chapter Five:: The Marauders**

It had been a long day. Lily Evans sighed as she made her way to the common room. She hadn't seen James all day because he skipped all his classes that he had with her (she had no idea how he could get away with that) and knew that she'd meet him now. She had to admit she was nervous that she'd be finding out a secret.

"Password?" The yellow-dressed lady asked in her sing-song voice.

Lily eyed her suspiciously.

"Why did you wink at me this morning?" she demanded.

The lady gave a wistful laugh.

"I've seen girls walking pass this corridor and they all happen to trip in front of that good-looking wizard," she said with a devious smile.

Lily gaped at her. Was she being serious? Do girls practically fall in front of James? But then again…why wouldn't they? They'd do anything to get his attention.

"I didn't do that on purpose," Lily said hotly although she felt her cheeks flame. But it was true. She _did_ not trip on purpose.

"Of course," the portrait lady said solemnly. Lily couldn't tell whether she believed her or not. "But from what I've observed, you are the first he has ever caught."

Lily blinked her eyes blankly. Was the portrait lady trying to unnerve her? Was she really the first girl James rescued although there were prettier and smarter girls out there?

"Oh, right," Lily said uncertainly. "Well, I want to go in now. Fizzing Whizzbees."

The portrait lady gave her a final smile before swinging open. With caution, Lily entered not wanting to trip for the second time on this day.

She immediately spotted James Potter staring unblinkingly into the fire. His expression was a mix of worry, frustration, tiredness and excitement.

"Hey," she called softly.

James slightly jumped and turned to face her eye-to-eye. Lily has to ensure she didn't jump from the tension his eyes held over her.

"Hey," he replied. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Lost in thoughts?" she asked joining him on the sofa. They were less than a metre away…

"I suppose," James mumbled. "Well, anyway, Sirius – "

"Attacked me," Lily cut in.

"What?" James sharply asked standing up. Lily's heart skipped a beat.

"But it was nothing," she said quickly noticing how a cloud of anger was circling his hazel eyes. "He just…wanted to see if I was trustworthy or not. He didn't hurt me or anything. So what is it that you all are hiding?"

James did not reply. His jaw was clenching and unclenching along with his fists and there were still anger in his eyes.

"I wondered why he finally agreed," James muttered running a hand through his hair making it stick up even more. "You must've been convincing. Are you sure he didn't hurt you?"

"Yes," Lily answered truthfully. Lily liked this protectiveness though.

"Good, or else I'll feed him to Quintapeds. Anyway, yeah, you're in now, Evans, you will now know something the guys and I have never told anyone else," James said.

Lily searched his face. He still looked slightly frustrated and she suddenly felt guilty for making him tell her something. It's not like he _had _to.

"Are you sure?" she asked tentatively. "I mean, I don't want to force you or something."

"I'm sure," he said with a slight smirk. "Follow me."

Lily obeyed and followed him up to his dorm. When she entered she couldn't help smiling. The room was exactly what she pictured James Potter would have. There were posters of famous Quidditch players, a photo of his friends, a portrait of his family hanging above an unmade bed and books sprawled across the floor.

"Sorry about the mess," James mumbled as he took a piece of parchment from his drawer.

"It makes you normal," Lily said staring at the blank parchment. Was this the secret?

James avoided eye-contact as he placed the parchment on the bed.

"Take a seat…anywhere…if there's room. Here," James said and muttered a few spells so books neatly stacked themselves on top of each other. A beanbag moved forward and Lily slowly sat down.

"Okay, this is slightly a big deal so I'll appreciate it if you don't interrupt. I promise you can ask questions at the end," James said locking eyes with her. Lily nodded instantly. Her heart was pounding mad again.

"Remus Lupin is, indeed, a werewolf," James started and Lily immediately gasped. So everything Severus had ever hinted was true? But she couldn't imagine Remus hurting anyone…

James was eyeing her cautiously and Lily nodded for him to continue. She will not interrupt.

"Sirius and I noticed him disappearing at the full moon and soon worked it out. The Shrieking Shack was made for him by Dumbledore. That's where he goes at the full moon. However, Sirius and I couldn't stand watching one of our best friends alone and frightened. We, along with Peter who was becoming nosier, became Animagi."

James paused again when Lily gasped again. This was becoming so…surreal. Everything she thought she knew about James…she was wrong. To be an Animagi…it required a great deal of intelligence and patience. Something she thought James Potter didn't have. She nodded again for him to continue.

"I'm a stag, Sirius is a dog and Peter is a rat. We gave each other nicknames. Sirius is Padfoot, Remus is Moony, Peter is Wormtail and I'm Prongs. Together we call ourselves Marauders. We couldn't accompany Moony – Remus – as humans but we could as animals."

James stopped once again and laid the black parchment in his lap. Lily looked at it, expecting something magic to occur, but nothing did. Perhaps James needed a distraction. Maybe that's why he kept playing with it.

"We explored Hogwarts and Hogsmeade and eventually we found different ways to get into Hogwarts. We found other enchantments inside of Hogwarts with this."

James stopped to pull out a silvery cloak from another drawer. Lily couldn't help gasping once again. She had her rumours...but…

"It's an Invisibility Cloak," James said tenderly unfolding it. "Passed through my family for generations. We would use this inside the castle since it just wouldn't be proper if a stag, a werewolf, a rat and a dog were running indoors. So we made this."

He focused on the parchment again, pointed his wand and said: "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

Lily watched, transfixed, as ink appeared on the parchment and soon Hogwarts was drawn on the map. On the top it read 'The Marauder's Map' but Lily was looking at the two dots in James's dormitory. _James Potter_ and _Lily Evans _it said. She could also see the dot _Sirius Black_ moving around in the Gryffidor Common Room as if he was pacing.

"It's the Marauder's Map. Every secret this castle has is recorded. It also shows where people are," James said.

Lily was now sure she was unable to speak. She had never seen magic so extraordinary. She was wrong. James was the smartest wizard there could be. He was an Animagus and she knew it was one of the hardest things to be. He also made this map, which she knew would require great knowledge.

"I thought," James said. "I'll just hand you this to you on your duty and you can just see if people aren't supposed to be where they shouldn't. If there's mischief, _then_ you can go out into the cold dungeons. To clear the map just say 'Mischief Managed' and it'll just look like any other piece of parchment. Anything you'd like to ask?"

So many questions she wanted to ask but all Lily could ask was: "Does Dumbledore know?" She just couldn't imagine Albus Dumbledore, the greatest wizard of all time, not knowing everything.

James gave a hollow laugh.

"No-one else knows except for Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail, me and now you," James said. "We decided that we didn't want to hurt Dumbledore's trust by telling him we turn into animals and run around like animals."

"Why'd you tell me then?" Lily whispered. A huge bubble of speciality was welling up inside of her. She felt so special that she was included in this wonderful secret.

"Well," James said scratching his head. "We first made the Marauders Map to help people but so far no-one knows about it. I figured it's now the time to share it with others so it can help them."

"James," Lily said lightly touching his arm. He jerked slightly but didn't pull away. She could feel the warmth from his body seeping into her fingers, up her entire arm, filling her heart…

The first time she said his first name in his face, first time she touched him with tenderness. She was finally showing the bravery that Gryffindors were suppose to possess.

But how could she say 'Potter' tenderly? It doesn't fit. She had to say James. She liked saying James…

"Yes?" he asked, his voice slightly scratchy.

"Thank-you," she said slowly removing her hand. Her heart seemed to protest in the loss. "I won't abuse your trust. I won't tell anyone."

James grinned.

"I thank you back…Lily," he said.

Lily's heart filled with warmth again. The first time _he_ said her name. Her name never sounded so nice. So perfect. James's low, husky voice saying _her_ name. She never dreamt it.

The normal tension level was rising higher and higher with each passing second. Lily's heart was thumping madly in her ribs as if it wanted to burst out and unite with James's.

James's eyes dropped and Lily knew it was focused on her lips. Her eyes dropped to his. His mouth…his lips…they looked so soft, so inviting, so kissable…

James leaned in and Lily did not pull away as she had always thought she would. For once, she wanted to be kissed by James. Just experience what other girls had talked about but they would always fall silent when she came…She never finished hearing the gossips…

Lily jerked back when she heard a demanding 'JAMES POTTER!'

"What's that?" she asked feeling her eyes wide. She also felt as if she was thrown into cold water. She realised that she was about to kiss James Potter and never got that chance.

James did not look happy.

"That's Padfoot," he muttered pulling a mirror from under his pillow. Lily could see Sirius's handsome face set in disapproval. "It's an enchanted mirror. We keep in contact like this when we're in detentions and stuff."

"Oh," Lily said. She never knew James knew so much magic. "I…I'll leave you to it then. Good night."

James ignored Sirius's nagging voice and looked straight into her eyes. Straight into her heart, it seemed.

"Good night."

Lily mustered up a smile, which wasn't as hard as she thought it'd be, and left.

……………………………………………………..

"_So?_" Sirius demanded when James finally looked into the enchanted mirror.

"What do you mean 'so'?" James asked stupidly. He had lost any intelligence he had when Lily said his name. He was also not very happy to talk to Sirius when he knew he was about to kiss Lily Evans.

"How did it go?" he asked rolling his eyes at James stupidity. Like James was suppose to know what Sirius meant when he uttered the two letter word.

"Good," James said but he saw Sirius raise both eyebrows. "Actually PERFECT. She promised she won't tell anyone, she actually said my name, said JAMES and I was going to KISS her until you bellowed my name!"

Sirius was now gaping.

"Sheesh, good ones, Prongs," he congratulated.

"She also told me you attacked her," James said coldly.

"Oh, yeah, that," Sirius said looking sheepish. "I was mad that you were mad and I was a bit stupid around Evans. She's not mad about that is she? And you're not either?"

"I suppose so," James grumbled imagining a painful image of Sirius laying a curse on a defenceless Lily.

"I'll make it up to you," Sirius begged. "I won't tease you being Head Boy, EVER!"

"Fine and if you break that you must tell Snivellus you love him!" James said pleased at Sirius's horrified expression. "So now you're actually okay with Evans knowing about the Marauder's Map? You had a huge change of heart."

"I know," Sirius said with a frown. "But Evans said something that changed my mind and then there's you, who never makes a mistake so why not listen to you?"

"What did she say?" James asked curiously.

"I forgot," Sirius admitted. "It's not like I hang onto every word she says."

"Right," James said.

"So everything's cool? Evans is cool? We're cool…?" Sirius asked.

"Everything's cool," James confirmed.

Sirius grinned.

"Awesome, I'll tell the boys, they looked like they swallowed slugs or something. Laters!"

"Later," James called but he was already gone like usual.

James fell back on his bed and smiled. Everything seemed very good right now. And he had a feeling it was the beginning of something with Lily Evans.


	6. Protection

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Important Note:** I live in Australia and in our school we have School Captains. I believe this is the equivalent to Head Boys and Head Girls…? Sorry, I'm just a little confused. Also, in Australia, we have vice-captains…I was wondering if there are equivalents to those? AND (this is the last thing) is there anything in Australia that is equivalent to prefects? It's just that with a little more information, I would understand the statuses a bit more. :)

I have (thanks to nice people!) have been given explanations but anymore is also welcomed! XD

**Feedback to Reviews:** i like this. XD

Little Miss Elizabeth: haha. LoL. you make me sound suspencefull. thank you, thank you!

lilfarie: what did i do so funnily? o.O i'm glad i'm writing like how you expected! XD

obobob20: LoL. i glad you perceive it that they're in love. XD i'm trying to hint it but don't know if i'm succeeding.

**Advanced Apology::** OMG! I return to school tomorrow for the two most important years of my schooling (you know, the one to determine what uni you go to and stuff). Anyway, my point is that I'll be very busy BUT I will try and update as much as I can. Motivation (especially reviews, hint, hint) is the main drive to keep me stimulated. So I'm SO SO SORRY if it takes me awhile to update. BUT don't give up on me!

**Chapter Six:: Protection**

"What did Sirius want?" Mindy asked casually but there was a hint of jealousy in her voice.

It was the next day and Lily had prowled the corridors like a tiger looking for any sign of mishaps. She had forgotten to get the map of James and she did not want to wake him up or walk into his room finding him half-dressed or something.

And Lily felt extremely sleep-deprived. And then she couldn't sleep as she kept replaying James saying her name over and over again. And the softness in his eyes. And the trust he had for her.

"Um…Lily," Mindy said raising an eyebrow. "What did Sirius want?"

"Oh, yeah," Lily said as she focused on the present rather than the past encounter she had. "Making sure I didn't break James Potter's heart. Again."

Lily had promised she wouldn't tell anyone and even though Mindy was her best friend, she couldn't tell her either.

"Oh," Mindy said looking disappointed. "Is that all? I wouldn't have worried myself the entire day yesterday if it was just because of that."

Lily had had Potions, Transfiguration and Charms yesterday while Mindy had had History, Divination and Magical Creatures. Mindy had chosen those subjects because she liked them (Lily had no idea why anyone would like Divination) but Lily didn't know what profession Mindy had her eyes for.

"What did you think he was going to say?" Lily asked as she buttered her toast.

"Nothing!" Mindy piped quickly as her cheeks flushed. "I just thought he'd be over telling you to be cautious of James Potter's heart. I mean, how long can you _like_ someone?"

Mindy finished off looking confused but Lily froze. What Mindy said was true. How _long_ could you like someone who didn't respond to your affection? Lily knew James liked her in Fifth Year but she had turned him down numerously in that year. Last year, he never asked her out again, only acknowledged her presence. And this year? This year was just plain strange.

It was a fact. James Potter did not like Lily Evans any more, if he ever did. Because how could he like her for so long when she had plainly stated she did not like him?

Lily felt a feeling of iciness fill her body. She had always held onto the thought that James liked her more than a friend but now she knew he didn't. It was sad and she wished it was still true. It was nice to have someone admire you. Not because it was _James Potter_ admiring her.

The coldness in her body increased when she saw James and his friends enter the Dining Hall. They (Sirius and James) grinned at anyone who looked at them but then James locked eyes with Lily. He no longer liked her. She never would've thought it'll make her sad.

James came over to Lily and his friends followed. Lily gulped.

"Good morning," James said pleasantly taking a seat next to her.

"Good morning," Lily and Mindy echoed. Mindy was looking at Sirius though.

"Looking pretty today," Sirius said huskily to Mindy. Mindy blushed.

"Thanks," she whispered. Sirius winked back and took a seat opposite her. Remus and Peter took seats next to Sirius.

"Has patrolling started?" James asked as he filled his plate with numerous foods.

"Yeah," Lily said and yawned as she remembered dragging her feet across the cold stones. "It sucks."

James dropped his fork and it made a huge clank across the plate.

"What?" he yelped. "_You_ went out last night without telling me? I didn't even patrol this morning!"

Lily mustered a smile.

"Oh well," she said.

"Oh well? _Oh well?_" James exclaimed incredulously. "The night times are dangerous!"

"I'm fine," Lily said.

James opened his mouth in a snarl but then Severus appeared behind him.

"You're sitting in my chair," Severus said coldly.

James paused then whipped around, his mouth still set in a snarl.

"You came too late, Snape. Perhaps you were washing your only underwear?" James sneered.

"Potter!" Lily said warningly. She would've liked to say James but she knew the whole table would be looking at her incredulously. They would never assume James and Lily were on first name terms. Perhaps she dreamt he called her Lily instead…

Severus drew out his wand but James looked at it with a smirk.

"You're going to hex me in front of teachers?" James asked. "Perhaps that way teachers could defend for you?"

Severus's hand was shaking on the wand but he did not mutter a spell.

"Enough!" Lily growled. "Potter, stop being such a bully!"

"Well, I'm not moving," James said stubbornly. "I was here first."

"You heard him," Sirius told Severus with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "You're not even in our house. Why don't you sit with your Death Eaters _friends_, Avery and Mulciber?"

"Sirius!" Mindy said appalled.

Severus's face was white. He went to hiss a spell but Sirius got in first. Before Lily had time to act or think, Sirius's pants had fallen to the ground showing his grey trousers. The Gryffindors around them roared with laughter.

Lily was not among them. She was shaking with rage. How many times did they have to make fun of Severus?

"WHAT IS THIS?"

Professor McGonagall had stormed down from the front and faced the roaring table of Gryffindors.

"Black, Snape, twenty points from Gryffindor each. And on top of that, detention with me for an entire week. We do not tolerate this sort of behaviour at Hogwarts!"

Sirius hung his head shamefully but there was a slight smirk on his face. Severus continued to glare at Sirius while struggling to pull up his pants. Sirius had removed the buttons. Severus's anger slowly disappeared as he realised practically the whole school was looking at him. He turned a sour red and scowled at Sirius.

"I do not want to see this sort of behaviour again!" she snapped. She then glanced at Severus who was now fumbling with his pants. Hastily, she muttered a spell and his pants were done up. The Gryffindors, now along with other houses, continued to laugh.

"Enough!" she snapped at the students and the laughter dimmed. However, there were still a few students who continued sniggering. She shot them daggers before heading back to the front.

"Good one," James winked at Sirius, who grinned back.

"Severus, let's eat someone else," Lily said coldly as she glared at James and Sirius.

"Are we back in First Year now?" Sirius yawned. "Why not stay and enjoy different company?"

"You guys are bullies!" Lily hissed. She rounded onto James, who seemed to flinch a bit. "And you're suppose to be Head Boy! You're suppose to set an example!"

James rolled his eyes.

"Don't I have a lot of responsibilities."

Lily scowled.

"There's room at the front, come on, Severus," Lily said standing up and picking up her plate.

Severus did not answer but watched her blankly. He gave a slight nod.

"Are you coming?" Lily asked Mindy who looked like she wanted to stay near Sirius.

"Aww, don't go, Parker," Sirius whined. Mindy looked torn.

"I'll catch up with you later," Mindy said apologetically to Lily. "We have Herbs soon."

"Okay," said Lily. She went to two spare seats and Severus followed.

"I'm sorry," Lily sighed as she sat down. "I wish I could do something to make them be _normal_."

"It's not your fault," Severus said quietly. "How is Head duties with Potter?"

Lily paused. How was it? Was it annoying? Frustrating? Exciting? Good?

"Different," Lily decided.

"How?" Severus asked with a frown.

"Well, he's a lot more mature," Lily said after a pause. "Slightly protective."

"Protective?" Severus asked and a sneer curled on his lips. "What's there to be protective about?"

"Apparently a lot," Lily said rolling her eyes.

"You should be careful too," Severus said.

"Of what?" Lily asked.

"Potter," Severus said and cringed as he said his name. "He could take advantage of – "

"What is this?" Lily exclaimed. "Why does everyone believe I can't look after myself? Just because I'm a female or something it doesn't mean I'm not as strong as you guys!"

"I know!" Severus said quickly. "But…well…Potter can be shifty."

"I _know_," Lily said rolling her eyes once again. "And if he tries something I'll hex him."

Severus looked doubtful but didn't press on.

"Come on, Sev, who cares about Potter," Lily said trying to lighten up the mood. "Tell me what's been happening in the Common Room without me."

Severus glanced at her, quickly looked away, and started muttering some stories. But Lily's mind was elsewhere. She kept glancing at James. It was all she could think about lately.

………………………………….

James was not in a good mood. Actually, he never was when Lily was in a bad mood. Especially because of him. Not that it was his entire fault. It was partially Sirius's fault too.

That's why he wanted to discuss with Sirius not to be as bad to Snivellus but couldn't because Mindy was here. She and his best friend were flirting non-stop to each other.

Just what James needed. It reminded James of the times when he flirted with Lily but she never returned the affection. James sighed. Maybe it could happen in the future.

James was glad when it was time for his first class. That's because he had Defence Against the Dark Arts with Lily and was determined to made amends with her.

"Evans!" he shouted when he saw the red hair flying down the hallway. She did not stop. She never did when he called her name.

He silently cursed and ran up to her.

"It's rude to ignore people when they call you," James mocked. "You should set an example as Head Girl."

"Leave me alone," Lily grumbled. She was walking quickly but James could easily keep up.

"I haven't finished talking to you," James protested.

"I don't want to talk to you," Lily said coldly.

"If it's about Snape that you're pissed, get over it. I want to talk about the map," James said.

Lily immediately slowed her pace and looked up at him with big eyes.

"What about it?" she asked anxiously.

"I told you to use it for patrolling," James said warily. "But you went out in the dark and could've ran into Norris or worse, Filthy Filch! You could even run into Peeves."

"Not this again," Lily groaned. "I can look after myself. I feel like I have to keep repeating that. Why don't people believe me when I say I'm capable of looking after myself?"

James swallowed. He knew she could look after herself; she was the brightest witch at Hogwarts. But he cared about her. He didn't want her anywhere that could endanger her in any way.

"Next time just use the map. Padfoot won't be happy if he realised I told you for nothing," James said.

The second part was a lie. Sirius had already forgotten how insecure he was at trusting Lily. Sometimes his best friend had such a short-term memory.

"If it makes you two happy," Lily grumbled as they walked into the classroom.

James smiled. He felt a lot more at ease now. He was sure Lily had forgotten the incident with Severus. It wasn't a big deal anyway. They had always made fun of Severus since they first saw him. James was also glad he didn't have class with him this year. For the past six years, they had had Defence together.

James immediately took the seat next to Lily, who normally sat with some Ravenclaw girl. When the Ravenclaw girl walked in, she scowled at James (James winked at her, how disrespectful was she?) and took a seat by herself at the end. A chubby Hufflepuff sat next to her and she cringed. James smirked and turned back around.

"Okay!" said Professor Klump. "Today, we will be revising spells that you should all know by now. This includes the Disarming Charm, the Patronus Charm and coming across Boggarts to see whether you are able to conquer your fears. Now, if you please, partner up as the best results are with critics and compliments."

"Evans, you're with me," James stated plainly.

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Says who?"

"Well everyone else is pairing up quickly. It leaves us," he said bluntly. He tried to forget the Ravenclaw girl, who James was sure wanted to be partnered with Lily rather than the Hufflepuff boy.

Lily sighed but didn't protest any longer. She stood up, went for a spare space near the window, and James happily followed.

"Isn't this sweet?" he grinned. "You can now hex me for no reason."

"I can hardly wait," she said dryly. "I'll try and Disarm you now."

"Okay," James said his grin widening. "_Try_ was the keyword."

Lily's eyebrows shot up even further but she cried out: "Expelliarmus!"

With a smirk and a lazy flick, James quickly repelled it. His friends had taught him how to use some non-verbal spells. Well, it was mostly Sirius but sometimes Remus and Peter gave suggestions too.

Lily clearly did not know this and she stood gaping at him.

"_You_ can use non-verbal spells?" she gasped.

"Can't you?" James asked with a sceptical frown although he was secretly pleased. He liked it when Lily looked at him with fascination.

"Not for something this complex!" Lily spluttered. "Oh my, you really are brilliant."

James could only grin as it was the only action his brain could muster after a compliment for Lily.

"I've been trying to tell you that for six years," James said smugly.

Lily seemed to regain herself. She straightened up and tucked a long strand of hair behind her ears. Like James wouldn't have done it for her. She was no longer gaping and her lips were pressed out in a firm line.

"Okay," she said raising her wand. "Disarm me."

James did not want to hurt Lily Evans in any way. He knew he had mastered every spell he had ever heard of and was sure Lily had as well but was it enough to suffice him? However, the thought of looking like a Squib in front of Lily overpowered the thought of hurting Lily. Which was a surprise.

"Expelliarmus!" James shouted.

Lily muttered a spell James had not heard of. Although she still held her wand, she had to take a couple of unsteady steps back.

"All right?" James asked briskly. He knew he didn't harm Lily but there was a shock expression that slightly unnerved James.

"Yes," Lily said rather shakily. "Let's move onto the Patronuses."

James shrugged.

"Your calls, Evans."

For some strange reason, Lily took three tries to make the doe emerge from her wand. James has watched Lily (every opportunity he had) and she never had any troubles before. James didn't have any trouble as the thought of kissing Lily would make anyone cast a Patronus.

"Potter, Evans!" Klump said from the front. "Time to take on the Boggart."

James suddenly felt a twinge of fear. What would his Boggart turn into? James let out a shuddered sigh. He was sure it had something to do with the redhead up in front of him telling him he was worthless.

"Ready?" Klump asked Lily.

Lily gave a strong nod and Klump opened a wardrobe. Immediately…a human climbed out.

James wasn't shallow (well, _most _of the time) but he had to admit this female was hideous. She had stringy, mousy hair and large, grey eyes. She was bony and had a very long neck. Perhaps this was Lily's fear…? To be ugly?

The lady started speaking.

"_FREAK! Gone to play with other freaks; saving the world from your presence! Don't ever come back! We're happier without you! Mum and dad are just pretending to love you. We laugh at your textbooks and your _pet_ when you're gone!"_

The whole room had stopped screaming spells but instead looked over at Lily. James had a feeling this was actually someone Lily knew. Lily's eyes were pooling with tears.

"Ri-ri-di-kulus!" Lily sobbed but the Boggart advanced.

"_Our parents will disown you once you marry that Snape boy! They're waiting for that day! _I'm_ waiting for that day! The day you don't come back!"_

Wh – what? Our parents? _This_ was Lily's sister? James had never known she had a sister. And there was no resemblance of Lily's beauty in her. And _Snape boy_? How did Lily's sister know about _him_? And marrying him? Was this Lily's wish? Lily's fear? Being rejected by Severus Snape?

James felt like he had a headache. And throwing up.

"I can't…" Lily sobbed and without looking back, she ran out the door.

"Er…" Klump said awkwardly as the whole class stared at the slamming door in bewilderment. "Continue on, please. Do not be distracted. Potter, you're next!"

"Er," James said as he glanced at the door where Lily exited. "I think I should go after her. Check that's she's okay…"

"Fine," Klump said waving him off. "I was going to send someone for her anyway. Off you go now. Evans is a good student; make sure she's fine."

James hastily nod and ran out the door. He wondered if confronting Lily now would be scarier than a Boggart…


	7. It's About Time

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Feedback to Reviews:** and alertness. LoL.

Little Miss Elizabeth: DAMN!. i wished i made the boggart james! how much better would that be?! hopefully this will do…

lilfarie: anticipation? haha. do i quench it now? LoL. and yes, but if you refer to Little Miss Elizabeth's idea a corpse of james would've been better:(

t-man: argh! you caught me out! i realised later but hoped no-one remembered. so…

**ATTENTION ALL READERS! **I made an error in chapter 2 and possibly a few more that i put SEVERUS SNAPE sleeping in Gryffindor. ARGH!!! The horror! Let's say there's another slimy git in Sirius's sleeping quarters who remind them of Snape. And they call him Snape to repulse each other. OR BETTER YET please forget I made a boo-boo! ..cries..

**Advanced Apology::** school. it leads us to our career. must attend. takes up time. which means it may take me awhile to update. i'm sorry for any inconvenience. :(

**Chapter Seven:: It's About Time**

James had no idea where Lily was. The good thing? He had the map with him. He had stuffed it in his pocket naturally forgetting that Lily might've needed it.

James checked his map. Lily was in the corner of the library not moving. James had a sinking feeling she was crying in there.

He quickly cleared the map and made his way to the library. He wanted to make Lily feel better but had no idea how.

When he reached her, he almost didn't make any more steps forward. Lily Evans – the bravest Gryffindor he knew – had her knees pulled up and was sobbing into them. The sight pulled his heart. How could _he_ make her feel better?

He tentatively walked over and sat beside her. Lily continued crying and James had no idea whether she knew he was there or not.

"I'm here," he whispered uncertainly.

Lily stopped half-sob and sniffed. Her face was still covered and she wiped away her tears with one hand.

"Came to laugh at me?" she asked in a broken voice.

"No, never!" James said shocked. "Just to check how you're doing."

What a stupid thing to say. Obviously she was distressed.

Lily sniffed a bit more.

"I bet the whole class is laughing at me," she said, her voice growing steadier.

"No-one is laughing at you," James said fiercely. "Klump just wanted to ensure you're okay. He sent me."

Well, James happily offered but Lily didn't have to know that.

"Does he want me to go back?"

"I don't know," James admitted as he looked straight ahead. He was sitting so close to Lily that his shoulders almost brushed hers. If he glanced at her now, he would pull her into a hug as he'd do anything for her to stop her tears.

"I am such a weakling!" Lily cried out so suddenly that James jumped. She looked up and her red-eyes made James wince. He focussed his eyes on the wall behind her. It was too painful to see red rimming the green.

"You're not," James said, his voice scratchy. "And keep it down or we'll get kicked out."

"Let's go somewhere else," Lily said standing up. She seemed to have stop crying. James was glad.

"Right," James as he followed suit.

"Our common room?" Lily asked as she glanced at him.

"Yeah, sure," James said his head feeling dizzy. Was _Lily Evans_ wagging class? But she had a reason. She was upset.

They walked in silence to their common room. The portrait lady seemed to want to say something but James silenced her with a look.

When they walked in Lily collapsed on the sofa. James's heart stopped. He had thought that she passed out but when he ran over, he realised she was shaking.

"How do you do it?" she asked in a wobbly voice, muffled by the sofa.

"Do what?" he asked sitting on the floor facing the face-down Lily.

"Be so happy when your family's at home!" Lily said slowly sitting up. Her eyes looked watery again and James swallowed. The portrait of un ugly, wrinkled man hanging on the wall suddenly seemed interesting.

"Well…I…uh, I remind myself that I'll still be going back," James said helplessly.

Lily nodded but there were tears streaking down her face again.

"My family hates me!" she said and buried her face in her hands.

"Hey!" James called taking the seat next to her. Uncertainly, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She stiffened but did not pull away. Instead, she lightly rested her head on his shoulder. "NO-ONE hates you."

"Tuney does," she sniffed.

"Who?" James asked in confusion. He was finding it hard to focus on her words when he was simply holding her. He wondered if she could hear his heart pounding miles per second.

"Petunia, my sister," Lily explained. "We were so close when we were young. Then when I came to Hogwarts, she hated me. She hardly talks to me."

"She's just jealous," James said but he could barely hear his voice. All he could hear was his heartbeats. Lily's sweet voice was just coming through. He could smell the exotic scent of Lily's hair. "And I'm sure she doesn't _hate_ you."

"She ignores me unless it's some special day and she gives me presents out of polite courtesy," Lily sniffed once again.

"Have you tried talking to her?" James asked then repressed a sudden gasp when Lily moved her body to fully rest her head on his shoulder. Her right side was lightly touching his left side. From shoulder to toe, there was a part of Lily touching him.

"Yeah, always," Lily said with a sigh. "She would just ignore me or pretend she has to call Vernon, her boyfriend. I decided to stop trying as much this year."

"I've heard from Muggle-borns. Sometimes their relatives, normally siblings, are jealous of them. Siblings feel out-shadowed as parents favour the witch or wizard," James said.

"I can't control who I am!" Lily cried out. "I'm happy to be a witch but Petunia makes me feel guilty for being happy!"

James racked his head for something useful to say but it was so hard when he was holding Lily. It was one step closer to his dream. James's mouth went dry when Lily started crying again. He was sure his heart was getting sliced at.

Simply holding her was not enough.

He brought up his right arm and wrapped it around Lily and pulled her into a hug. A hug. Another huge step that James never thought he'd do. He gently pressed her head into his shoulder before starting to stroke her soft, auburn hair.

He could hardly breathe. But he could stay here forever.

And it might've been forever. James didn't even know how long he sat there hugging Lily Evans. He felt like he found home.

Reality hit back when Lily slowly pulled away. She had stopped crying but her eyes were still the slightest red.

"Thank-you," she said sincerely. James had no idea what she was thanking him for but he was too scared to speak. He didn't even know if he _could_ speak.

"Should be go back?" she asked uncertainly. James shook his head fiercely unsure if he could speak.

"Stay here?" Lily asked looking confused.

James decided to have a crack with his voice. He was looking stupid anyway for not talking like usual.

"People will stare," he said, voice slightly hoarse. "Might think we're– "

"I know," Lily said grimly. "I don't think we'll be missing out on anything though. A revision class."

"Yeah," James said.

But he knew he probably wouldn't be able to conquer a Boggart. He had a feeling it would be Lily Evans telling him he was useless and then he'd have to point a _wand_ at what looked like her. It was too much.

"I still feel bad not going back to class though," Lily said after a thought. "I have an idea."

"Yeah?" James prompted. He didn't want to leave Lily too soon.

"We can go back in at separate times. You can say you couldn't find me," Lily said. She then frowned. "How did you find me?"

"Map," James said. He was surprised he could even say one word.

"Oh, right," Lily said. "Do you want to go back first or do you want me to?"

"You choose."

"I'll go back first," she said after a thought. "You okay with that?"

"Yeah," James said.

Lily gave a radiant smile. Heck, it looked like she never cried in the first place.

"You really are brilliant, James," Lily said the smile still not disappearing.

The second time she said his name. It was better than the first.

"Not as brilliant as you, Lily," he said softly.

Lily's smile widened to James's surprise.

"You don't have to lie to me," she said, eyes shining with amusement rather than tears. "Thank-you again."

She gave a little laugh and left. Leaving James confused and smitten like always.

…………………………………………………

Lily didn't want to go back. She really, really didn't. She knew everyone would be looking at her and thinking she was completely stupid for not conquering her fear.

But the Boggart was speaking of her fears. Something that she had always suspected and it was even worse from Petunia, _her sister_. She loved Tuney but it just seemed she hated her.

Lily took a deep breath when she reached the door. It was time to gather herself together. She shouldn't appear weak.

She opened the door and self-consciously walked in. She was aware every pair of eyes was on her and she flushed red.

"Ah, Evans," Professor Klump said briskly. "We're just finishing off our spells. Has Potter found you?"

"Uh…no," Lily lied and blushed even redder when she remembered what happened when James found her.

She didn't even want to imagine what James saw when he found her. She must've looked a mess while James always looked perfect. And she felt like a blubbering idiot telling him her problems when he wouldn't even care.

And then he held her. And she let him. And she liked it. She felt protected and that maybe he cared for her.

And soon after he hugged her. The protectiveness and care increased. She had thought she had fallen asleep and dreamt it but he felt so solid. So real. She didn't want to leave but she had to.

"What are you all looking at? Do I get paid to have a bunch of students not follow my instructions?" barked Klump. "Get back to it!"

Students hastily turned back to their partners and started screaming spells at each other. Lily noticed there were no pairs in front of the wardrobe.

"Would you like another try?" Klump asked gently.

Lily tried not to shudder. Petunia yelling at her again…Would she be able to face it?

She thought about James. And his hug. _That_ was real. The Boggart wasn't real.

"Yes," Lily whispered.

She braced herself as Klump slowly opened the wardrobe. Petunia seemed to float out with a sneer on her face.

"_You think you're so special, don't you? Offered a place at_ Hogwarts_? Why don't you just _stay _there? Who wants you back in the real world?"_

Lily almost broke down again. Couldn't the Boggart be telling the truth?

No.

Lily thought about James and his hug. Stroking her hair. Tracing delicate patterns on her back.

"_RIDDIKULUS!" _Lily shouted and the Boggart Petunia was wearing Slughorn's large robe and silly hat. The look did not suit Petunia.

The class roared with laughter and the Boggart Petunia blushed. It rounded onto Klump and turned into a huge werewolf. Klump immediately repelled it and sent it back into the wardrobe.

Klump was beaming at Lily along with the whole class (minus Slytherins, but who cared about them?), who was also applauding. Lily felt bashful and slightly proud.

At that moment, James opened the door. He looked confused to stumble into a room of people applauding. Applauding for someone who wasn't him.

Lily had wanted to walk in first so she could look at James when he entered (it was normal for someone to look at who entered the room). If she had entered later and looked at James the whole class would know she singled him out of the whole room to look at. It wasn't her fault her eyes always trailed to him when he was in looking-range.

She also didn't like locking gazes with James when there was so much tension between them. She didn't know where they stood and it just magnified when he looked at her. Thoughts that she thought she controlled were thrown into chaos.

Too bad he was looking at her right now though. It could also be because she was the only student who was not applauding (minus Slytherins, but who looked at them?).

"Are they applauding you, Evans?" James asked, cocking his head to the side with a frown on his handsome face. "It's about time."


	8. The Safest Patrol

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Feedback to Reviews:** :)

Little Miss Elizabeth: thank you, lots and lots. LoL. hope this is soon enough!

lilfarie: LoL you're so funny. LoL and of course they'll kiss _one day_. i mean, how exactly does harry potter end up in this world again?

OtterPotter: thank you SO SO SO SO SO much for all the reviews you've written! they're all so short and sweet and motivating! XD

**Chapter Eight:: The Safest Patrol**

Lily Evans was feeling extremely giddy during snack break. Everything just seemed to _shine_ to her. She had conquered the Boggart and James kept giving compliments to her. Who didn't like compliments?

"I envy you," Mindy said as she threw a pebble into the lake. "I wasn't in Defence yet I heard what happened. Everyone was so distraught when you ran out because they didn't want you to ever be distressed. Then they were bursting with pride when you overpowered the Boggart. I wish people would view me with such admiration and respect."

Lily laughed.

"It was rather embarrassing," Lily said. "I _cried_ in the classroom. And people do _admire_ and_ respect_ you."

"Not like they do with you," Mindy said. "I have a bad example. Every other Muggle-born is called you-know-what but people call you _the_ Gryffindor Princess."

"I doubt the Slytherins do and if they don't, I bet it's because of Sev," Lily said.

"No offence to our best guy friend but he's not someone who looks like his opinions are well-valued."

"Quiet down," Lily said as she saw Severus slouching his way over. "Here he comes."

"Sweet. Perhaps Sirius can come and annoy him."

Lily gave her a glare.

"I'm trying to be funny and failed."

Severus finally reached them and sat stiffly on the bright, green grass.

"Congratulations," he murmured in a low voice. "I heard you took on the Boggart."

"I don't know why it's such a big deal," Lily said throwing up her hands. She had no idea why the story was spreading across the entire school. "Everyone else took on the Boggart and succeeded."

Except James. He never had a chance and she wondered what his greatest fear was.

"It could have something to do with the fact that you left. And you're admired and respected," Mindy pointed out.

"Then the story must be making fun of me! I'm in my Seventh Year and I can't take out a Boggart!" Lily exclaimed embarrassed.

"Nah," Mindy said shaking her head. Her black hair fell past her shoulders. "Everyone was gushing with pride when they told it. They told me they were jealous I was your best friend."

"You don't have to lie to me because I'm your best friend," Lily said feebly.

"She's not," Severus said. "What was your Boggart anyway?"

"Petunia," Lily answered and Severus seemed to shudder.

"Your sister?" Mindy asked blankly. She had never met any of Lily's family before as Petunia always screeched at the idea of 'freaks' entering her house. "She's that scary?"

"She was speaking my deepest fears," Lily explained.

Neither Severus nor Mindy questioned her further. Lily was grateful. They knew what she was talking about as she had mentioned it a few times before when she was feeling down in the dumps.

"What was James's?" Mindy asked. "I wish James and you were in my class. I bet Sirius would be depressed without his best friend for company. I guess I'll have to cheer him up in Defence next."

"James Potter's Boggart?" Lily asked confused. "He never had a chance to face it."

"Pity," Mindy said. "I'd think someone like him had no fear. It could be you rejecting him or something."

"I've done that my whole life and I don't think he's scared of me doing that!" Lily said fiercely.

"Brave Gryffindors," said Mindy wistfully. "Will Klump have the Boggart for the next class? That means I have to face a spider! I hate spiders! What about you, Sev? What do you think you're Boggart's going to be?"

"I guess you'll find out next," Severus said curtly.

"I think it's kind of a bad thing to use," Mindy said thoughtfully. "To show the world your greatest fear."

"It's not the _world_," Severus said rolling his dark eyes. "You exaggerate too much. And everyone has a fear."

"Normal fears," Lily added. "Bugs, ghosts, dragons, Inferi – not their own sister!"

"Your fear is of people who matter to you," Mindy said softly. "That's the best fear there should be."

Lily raised her eyebrows. It was weird when Mindy spoke with sincerity and maturely.

"What's _your_ fear?" Severus asked Mindy.

Mindy blinked her large eyes at him.

"I guess you'll find out next," she mimicked.

………………………………………

James was tired, slightly frustrated and nervous. Very nervous.

It was 9.47PM and he had not seen Lily enter the common room. Had she gone patrolling early? It was Tuesday and he was going to go with her.

He was about to find the map and check where she was when she walked through the portrait.

"Where have you been?" James asked trying to hide his worry and impatience.

"Helping Mindy with our Herbology papers," Lily said with a yawn. "What are you doing?"

"Waiting for you," James replied. "I decided to go patrolling with you tonight as it's Tuesday and we can sleep a bit more tomorrow morning."

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Why?"

"Because I said so and I normally get what I want," James said. "Even if you say no, I'll follow you. But I suggest you should keep to your promise of using the map."

Lily looked slightly nervous then her eyes met the parchment beside him.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" she whispered. "Like would we be able to reach the culprit in time?"

James rolled his eyes. For someone as smart as she was, she could sometimes be slightly stupid.

"If we patrol, we don't even know _where_ the offender is," James pointed out.

"I had decided I want to patrol," Lily said strongly and James stiffened. He didn't want her to patrol and he didn't want to leave the warmth of the fireplace.

"Why?"

"I feel…guilty for not doing what Dumbledore expects us to," she said weakly.

"I feel stupid for sharing you with something gravely important and you disregarding it," James said sarcastically.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Lily exclaimed. "I won't tell anyone! I promise!"

"I know," James said with a great, fake sigh. "How about we compromise so I don't feel like a total 'toerag'?"

"Okay," Lily said after awhile. "As long as I'm happy with it."

"Haven't you noticed?" James teased. "I only try and make you happy. Okay, this is my deal: On Monday evenings and Wednesday mornings, we'll patrol together. All the other times we have to patrol, we use the map. Or you use it at night and I use it in the morning like you first suggested."

Lily looked troubled as if she didn't know which one to choose. She was slightly frowning and biting her lower lip.

"Okay," she finally agreed.

"Good choice, Evans," James grinned. "Shall we start patrolling now?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Lily said checking her watch.

"Should I take my Invisibility Cloak and map?" James asked looking at the items which were thrown on the sofa. He would _not_ do this anywhere else but no-one else can get into the Head's Common Room and he believed Lily would not steal his possessions.

"Maybe…not?" Lily suggested. "I wouldn't want you to lose it."

"Right, let's go," James said heading for the portrait. "Unless you're not ready."

"I'm ready."

Lily followed him out and James felt the tension between them again. Now they had nothing to talk about, nothing in common. What was there to say? How are you? He didn't want to remind Lily of the encounter with the Boggart this morning.

Not to mention the tone he had to use. Was he supposed to be his usual self? Arrogant, sarcastic, teasing? Or how he was when Lily allowed him to hug her? Mature and caring? But didn't Lily once said she preferred him to be arrogant, sarcastic and teasing?

James felt like he had a headache. He felt so confused. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

"Do you hear that?" Lily whispered.

It was dark and even though they both had said: "Lumos" it was still really dark. He could not see Lily's emerald eyes as she was ahead of him or anything further than 1 metre ahead. The only senses he could rely on was touch (he could feel Lily's body heat, no complaints), smell (it improved when he became a stag but he didn't feel anything fishy at the moment) and hearing. Although he couldn't hear anything but Lily. His taste sense was practically useless at the moment.

"No," James whispered back. His whisper sounded loud and echoey in the silence he interrupted.

"Petrificus Totalus!" Lily suddenly shrieked.

For a second James thought he was stunned as he couldn't move then realised he had gasped. He had no idea why Lily started screaming spells in the middle of the night though.

"Why did you do that?" James snapped trying to regain his cool.

"James," Lily said her voice slightly shaky. James felt like he was stunned again when she spoke his name. Any anger he just had faded. "Can you check who I just stunned? I feel terrible…"

Oh so there was a person. No problem.

James walked past her and directed his wand at the face. He immediately recoiled.

"Snivellus!" he cried in shock. He backed away.

"Severus?" Lily asked and her voice was mirroring his shock. She checked the face. "Severus? Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't know it was you! What are you doing at this time?"

She muttered the counterspell and Severus pulled himself up dusting his robes. James thought this was absolutely pointless as it was full of dust anyway.

"I forgot something," Severus said stiffly.

"But all the rooms are closed at this time," Lily said, slightly suspiciously.

James finally found his voice after the shock of seeing the ugliest person ever.

"I'm afraid you'll get a detention for wandering the corridors after hours," James said smoothly. "Tomorrow with me at 7. Office next to the Quidditch Pitch."

"James!" Lily said again. James did not jump at her startled voice but at his name being said again. He was sure goosebumps were erupting on every surface of his skin. "We should give warnings. And it wasn't like Severus was doing anything illegal. Sev, go back to bed. There'll be no detentions. We'll escort you in case the caretaker comes."

James cringed at the idea of walking next to Severus as if they were friends but he couldn't protest to Lily. Not now. When she said 'James'. It was three times in one day. A record. That shall be broken one day.

But he couldn't help wondering why Severus was wandering the corridors. What _was_ he doing? Was it, perhaps, to spy on Lily? James always had this slight feeling that Severus harboured deeper feelings for her.

He had to ask Sirius to look out for him.

"Good night, Sev," Lily said when they reached the Slytherin's Common Room. James blanched at the ugliness of the quarters. "You should try and get some sleep."

"Right," Severus said. "Good night, Lily."

They lingered for a moment and James had a disgusted feeling that she was going to kiss him good night. He would rather torture himself than see that. Thankfully, Severus gave a curt nod and went in. After Severus disappeared behind the portrait, James started his questions.

"What do you think he was doing?"

"What he said. Forgetting something."

"You don't believe that, do you?" James pressed on. "He would know the rules by now. It's our seventh year!"

"I don't know, do I?" Lily sighed. "Can you stop asking these questions because you hate him? I'm tired."

James shut up. This was probably a stressful day for Lily especially the part with the Boggart. And he didn't want to make her feel any worse.

They patrolled the next hours in silence. James was happy that they just weren't arguing.


	9. Unequal Intentions

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Feedback to Reviews:** :)

lilfarie: believe me when i say i feel for him too. :( but yeah…lily and james are meant for each other.

OtterPotter: i hope i'm making you happy once again. LoL. and your name can ALWAYS be in a chapter. XD

**Chapter Nine: Unequal Intentions**

"What was Severus doing last night?" Lily asked Mindy during breakfast.

Mindy finished her mouthful of oatmeal before replying.

"I know he's our best guy friend and all but I don't pay all that much attention to him," Mindy replied.

She confirmed this by paying her attention at the handsome Sirius Black who was in a heated discussion with James Potter.

Lily turned her gaze away as she didn't want to look at James. He just made her nervous. She had woken up early, took a shower, so had not spoken to him at all.

"Anyway, James and I were patrolling and we found him wandering around," Lily explained. She wasn't sure if Mindy was listening as she seemed to be full absorbed at looking at Sirius. "I used the Full-Body Bind spell. I felt so bad but I was freaking out!"

"You could just ask him what he did," Mindy said.

"He said he had forgotten something but all the rooms were locked so he wouldn't be able to get it anyway," Lily pressed on.

"Perhaps he dropped it in-between classes," Mindy suggested.

"Yes, I have thought about that," Lily said. "But wouldn't he have used 'Lumos' so he could see? It was absolutely dark!"

"Severus Snape is a completely twisted character and I don't think anyone can understand him," Mindy said, actually dragging her eyes off Sirius to look at Lily. "If he doesn't feel like talking about it, perhaps it's best to leave it."

Lily frowned. Mindy was probably right. Severus had so many different intentions and character underneath him and she doubted she'd ever fully understand him.

But she'd like to be friends with him all the same. She just wished she had no secrets between friends.

Unless it's necessarily. Like wanting to hug James Potter – whoa, what was she thinking? That was way out of line. And it's not like she was friends with James Potter.

Which meant she could think stuff like that. Like hugging, kiss – NO! What were with these thoughts? Had James put a spell on her that made her want to jump him? ARGH!! These thoughts were driving her mad.

Now Lily Evans was more confused before she started interrogating Mindy.

……………………………………

Several seats away James was equally confused. But for a totally different reason. Because if James ever wondered why he wanted to hug and kiss and jump Lily Evans, he had an answer. She was perfect.

No, the reason why James was confused right now was because he _still_ didn't know what little Snivelllus was doing although he had a suspicion.

"Keep an eye on him," James told Sirius.

Sirius chocked on his toast.

"Does it look like I want to _look_ at that slimeball?" he scoffed.

"I don't want him to do something to Evans," James said.

"He wouldn't do something to her," Remus said taking a delicate sip of soup off his spoon so there were no slurping sounds. "He'd do something to you."

"That's true," James said with a frown. "What if he lays some Dark Curse on her to make her love him or something?"

Sirius barked our laughter and James gave him a disapproving look.

"Sorry, Prongs," Sirius said as he continued chuckling. "But the only person Snivellus can love is himself. He doesn't have a heart."

"He seems really into Evans," James said glumly.

"Is he your competition?" Sirius smirked. "I daresay you'd win her heart over his."

"Really?" James said not sharing the humour. "She'd sit with a _Slytherin_ during breakfast and dinner but not me and I'm in the same house. She even hangs out with him on weekends!"

"She's probably trying to make you jealous," Sirius said closely inspecting the teeth marks on his toast. "Oi, Moony, does my teeth change after becoming a you-know-what? I think the marks are longer and slightly jagged."

James sighed. He realised his friends were not as interested in the topic of Lily Evans as he was.

"Unless you're that hideous dog right now, no," Remus said grimly. "Prongs, stop moping around. Aren't you friends with Lily now?"

"I…uh," James said lost for words.

Was he friends with Lily? He didn't know. Sure, they no longer just yelled at each other when they meet but that didn't necessarily mean that she no longer hated him.

"Lost for words?" Sirius asked in amusement. "That's what happened when you two are friends? What shall happen when you two are married?"

Peter seemed to find this highly hilarious as he giggled like a little girl. James constantly wondered why he was friends with that pleaser.

"Ha, ha," James said sarcastically. He shot Peter a glare and he immediately stopped squealing. "Evans and I are unfortunately not friends. We're just…acquaintances. We figured it's better to act rational as we have a whole year together."

"Whatever, Prongs," Sirius said. "Hey, you didn't end up cursing Snivellus last night, did you? Where is that slimy git?"

"I told you. Lily used the Full-Body Bind spell on him. I was gloating inside but sort of sad that I didn't use that opportunity to send him into oblivion."

Sirius had stopped paying attention and grabbed more jam for his toast. James sighed then frowned as he searched the hall. Severus was not with Avery, Mulciber or Lily.

"I don't know where that git is," James said quietly, although no-one was listening to him. "I really don't."

…………………………………………………

Lily thought it was ironic how she was disappointed that James had wagged classes he had with her two days ago and now disappointed that he no longer did that.

He took a seat next to her in Potions and gave her a grin.

"Morning, Evans," he said taking out his new textbooks. "Not ignoring me, are you?"

"No," Lily said deciding it was best not to look at him. "Where were you two days ago? You skipped class."

"You actually knew I had class with you?" James said with a happy smile. "I knew you didn't hate me."

Lily immediately wished she kept her stupid mouth shut.

"Slughorn called out your name and you weren't present," Lily said hotly. "Where were you?"

"I forgot," James said. Lily couldn't tell whether he was lying or not. Damn, he was such a hard reader. "Speaking of which, your good friend isn't here."

"Who?" Lily asked with a frown as she scanned the room for Mindy. Hang on, Mindy didn't even _have_ Potions right now.

"Snape," James answered.

Lily gasped when she realised she didn't even realise her best guy friend wasn't in the room with her. What was wrong with her? She instantly notices whether James was present or not but not her best friend?! She was definitely coming down with something.

"Do you know where he is?" James asked eyeing her with such intensity that Lily had to look away.

"No," Lily said coolly. "Wouldn't you if you stuck him down a toilet or something?"

"Interesting," James said and Lily regretted saying that when she noticed his amused look. "I'll keep that in mind when I next see him."

"Why can't you just leave him alone?" Lily sighed.

"Does _he_ leave _me_ alone?" James shot back.

"You normally provoke it," Lily pointed out.

"Less and less now," James said. "Yet he continues to hex me when I just walk."

"Perhaps you two can be friends," Lily suggested. "He's a really, really engaging character."

"I'm sorry," James said not looking sorry at all. "But I'm not as nice as you. I could never be friends with a Slytherin."

"You really should get over this prejudice thing," Lily sighed. "You're missing out on a lot of people. You could be friends with them."

"I already have the best of friends," James said proudly. "Including you, Miss. Evans. You are my friend, are you not?"

Lily gaped at him in wonder. _Was_ she friends with James Potter? Is that the term to describe the relationship between them right now? Is that why she felt so weird around him? Because she never imagined she'd be friends with him?

"Come on," James pleaded. "Let's be friends. I mean, you're friends with Snape and he hates me. I'm nowhere as bad as him. I no longer hex people because I'm bored yet he uses _dark_ magic. I don't call Muggle-borns you-know-what and he does. I don't –"

"Okay!" Lily said. She couldn't bear to hear another 'bad' thing Severus did. It made her question whether it was wise to be friends with him. "We're friends, James Potter."

James's grin seemed to shine.

"You won't regret it, Lily Evans."

………………………………………

Severus Snape was in the worse mood ever. He wanted to torture. He wanted to _kill_. He was FURIOUS.

He thought that perhaps skipping all his classes today would make him immune to any Potter news but he was wrong. There was now a – rumour – that James Potter and Lily Evans were friends. No way could that be true. No way could Lily – _his_ Lily – be friends with that prat. Potter probably made that rumour up himself.

Okay, okay, so he _was_ spying on Lily yesterday after he heard her discussing patrol times with Mindy. He was deeply embarrassed and angry with himself when he was caught. Luckily, Lily was good-natured so didn't suspect anything.

But he was deeply regretting spying on her now. Because he was positive she referred to that Potter freak as 'James'. JAMES! Since when did _she_ call _him_ by his first name?

What was happening between the two? Severus had no idea WHY Potter was even Head Boy to begin with. Didn't that crackpot Dumbledore notice Potter picking on numerous victims? Now with higher authority, Potter would not even hesitate to curse someone.

What was so special about James Potter anyway? He was hideous with messy hair and glasses. GLASSES! He thought Potter was rich so why not use Galleons to fix his eyes? Potter wasn't even good at Quidditch anyway. Severus bet Potter's loser friends cursed other Quidditch players to make Potter look good.

Potter's friends. Idiots. Proud to use magic, not caring about anything or anyone as long as they're having a laugh. The Slytherin-betrayer Sirius Black had once told Severus to go into the Whopping Willow. Potter thought he would be a 'hero' to save Severus. As if Severus didn't know Remus Lupin was a werewolf anyway.

Why should Severus be abided to a secret that he didn't agree to? Did Dumbledore believe that no-one else would work out what freak of nature Lupin was? Someone else would catch on. Severus had hinted to Lily but damn, sometimes she's too absorbed in I-only-see-the-good-in-people nature that she'll dismiss Severus's rants.

Severus sighed.

But…after everything Severus had told Lily, was he losing her to James Potter? James Potter only _fancied_ Lily to boost his reputation. He didn't care about Lily. He would just throw her away after he got bored. James Potter only cared about himself.

Severus took in a ragged breath and closed his eyes against what felt like tears. How could James Potter ever feel the love Severus Snape had for Lily Evans?


	10. Two Months and A Day

CHAPTER TWO

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Feedback to Reviews:** :)

Chocochip2000: LoL shame. just don't leave again. i'm kidding. XD yay. chocolate. yum.

lilfarie: LoL one day…and yeah, man, why can't we all be the same? or is it just me? o.O

PhoenixFyre88: sorry i think this took awhile :(

OtterPotter: yeah i hope so. i feel so sorry for snape. :( LoL. i hope this is how everyone envisions lily

**Chapter Ten: Two Months and a Day**

Lily Evans had been friends with James Potter for two months and a day. No, no, she had not been counting but it was pretty obvious when they decided to be friends on the 4th of September. It was now the last day of October, aka Halloween, therefore they had been friends for eight weeks and a day, which can also be said as two months and a day.

It didn't start out perfectly as friendships were supposed to. Lily didn't know how, but after that Potions class, the whole school had found out they were friends. She was really sick of the school focussing so much on her life. She had confronted James and asked him why he told everyone but he said it wasn't him. He said he told his friends like she would tell her friends and assumed that it was Sirius who told everyone. Lily was sceptical so she asked Sirius. He confirmed that it was true and he told everyone because he was so happy that his best friend was happy. Strange man.

For the first week that Lily was friends with James, half the girls in the school did not talk to Lily. She had no idea why but then Mindy explained it to her. Her best friend told her that because James was so good-looking, all the girls wanted him to be theirs. They all know that James had had the hots for Lily and now felt threatened because she was friends with him. Lily just thought that was plain stupid as a friendship doesn't always result in romance.

The girls weren't the only ones to act strange in the first week. The boys were too. Apparently they had known how much Lily despised James (she never really did) and thought that if she could be friends with James that she could be friends with these boys. Lily was in deep shock when she heard, especially from some disturbing Slytherins. She politely told all the boys she'd be friends with them if it made them happy but it didn't necessarily mean she'd spend every second of the day with them. Some tried to take advantage of this situation but Lily stunned them all before they could grope her. James wasn't very pleased with the way they handled his 'friend' and announced to the whole school that it wasn't possible for Lily to be friends with someone she barely knew. Lily was glad he said that and agreed to his announcement. All the new friendships she had with the boys in the first week, when she announced her friendship with James, soon disappeared.

By the second week of their friendship, everything returned to normal. Except Severus.

He refused to talk to her as he was disgusted that she would be friends with such a troublemaker. Lily tried numerously to explain what James said: She could be friends with Severus so why couldn't she be friends with James? Severus refused to listen and stormed off. He continued still to ignore her unless she broke the friendship with James.

It reminded Lily of Petunia. How she lost someone because they weren't happy with her choices.

Other than that, everything was fine now that she was friends with James Potter.

Yes, he still sometimes teased her but it was more playfully than anything else. He was mature and seemed keen on his studies. He had stopped playing with that stupid Snitch he stole and no longer hexed anyone.

He even stopped hexing Severus. Severus took this happily and would hex James but then James reported him to the teachers, which landed him a detention with James as the one to be in charge of the detention now that he was Head Boy. Severus never took a second chance again.

Another good thing about being friends with James was that she got to hang around with his friends as well. They accepted her automatically and every now and then, Sirius would make a little fun of her. Of course he paid more attention to Mindy, who was happy she was sitting among the most popular boys in school.

Sirius and Mindy had a brief thing but then broke up after Mindy refused to get her arm tattooed with Sirius's name. The two now shared a casual and somewhat bitter relationship. The two also now seem less energetic as usual and Lily wondered whether it's because they still like each other.

"Ready?"

Lily jumped at the deep, husky voice of James Potter. She was too wrapped up in her thoughts to realise James had entered the Common Room.

"Huh?" Lily said stupidly. She was too confused to know what was happening.

"Sluggy's Halloween Party," James said patiently. "It starts in about half an hour. You're not ready, are you? You're not dressed."

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Lily said jumping up from the sofa. "Well, you're not ready either."

"I know," James replied. "But you're sitting here daydreaming or something and looking like you're not about to leave any time soon. I, on the other hand, just finished Quidditch practice early to get ready."

Lily gaped at him.

"You finished Quidditch practice early?" she asked.

James frowned.

"Why so surprised?"

"It's just…" Lily started with a shrug. "I never thought you would miss an opportunity at Quidditch."

"You're right," James said. "But that wasn't Quidditch. It was Quidditch _practice_. I don't need any practising."

James was right. He was the best on a broom.

"How fascinating," Lily said sarcastically. "Now if you would let me go, I need to get ready."

"Thanks for not thanking me on reminding you," James said with equal sarcasm. "What were you thinking about?"

Lily stopped halfway on her way up to her room. Should she tell him?

"Our friendship," she answered. She had never been the best liar and was sure James could easily read through her lies.

"What about it?" he asked with a frown.

"We've been friends for two months and a day," Lily said. "I'm surprised."

"And happy?" James asked. He continued on before Lily could think of what she should say. "We've technically only been friends for two months since this day will not end for another five hours or so."

"I see," Lily said. "Let's see if we can make two months and a day."

She quickly went to her room because she didn't know whether she would be able to stand James's questions about their relationship any longer. She had a feeling that if she answered truthfully, it would just be out of character for her.

Lily sighed as she looked at her full-length mirror. She had a costume. It was of a house-elf. Lame, she knew. But it was easy.

It was funny since when she was young, she would dress as a witch for the Muggle celebration of Halloween. But the truth was, she _was_ a witch and could dress as herself.

She put on a yellow hat and a shimmering green dress. She smiled at her reflection. She looked like the Christmas elves she imagined when she was little. She cast a few spells so she had pointed ears, nose and curly hair. The enchantments will last for about half a day unless she removed it. She then put on a nice pair of yellow boots. She looked okay. She wondered if she should make her teeth crooked but then realised if she did, she wouldn't feel like smiling (or appear kissable).

Happy with her look, Lily made her way downstairs. James, no surprise, was not there yet as he always took his time to get ready. She wondered what he would dress up as.

Lily gasped when James came down. James looked like James. The only difference was that he was wearing a loose, sleeveless white robe with a gold sash around the middle and his hair was gelled down with a gold crown. He looked like a Greek God, which meant he looked gorgeous. Lily quickly put the last thought out of her mind.

"What are you supposed to be?" Lily asked her eyes wide. James chose to ignore this.

"House-elf?" James asked with a pleased smile. "You look adorable, Lily."

Since they have been friends, James had called her Lily and she called him James. It was times when they had an argument that they referred to each other by last names.

But it didn't mean that she didn't get a tingle every time he said her name. Especially with a compliment.

"Thank-you," Lily said and felt her cheeks grown warm. "Although it's apparent what I am, the same can not be said about you. What are you?"

James puffed out his chest and gave a grin.

"Veela."

"Veela?" Lily echoed confused. "I thought there were no male Veelas."

"Is that a fact?" James asked with a frown. Could you believe it? Frowns even look good on him. "Then males can never charm girls with their looks? Oh well. I'm pretty enough to be a Veela."

He shot her another dazzling smile. Yes, he certainly knew he was pretty enough to be a Veela.

"Are _you_ a Veela?" James asked.

Oh, was he making fun of her now? That she wasn't as good-looking as him?

"Obviously not!" she said angrily rolling her eyes. "I'm Muggle-born!"

"Whoa, calm down, Lily," James said taking a step back. "Don't need to go all gnashy at me."

"I'm not," Lily said trying to even out her voice and skin tone mentally. She still felt slightly flustered at her remark and she was sure her cheeks were still red. "And gnashy isn't a word."

"I'll remember that the next time I write an essay," James said with a shrug. "Wanna go now?"

"Sure," Lily replied. She suddenly felt stupid being an elf compared to James, who was creative enough to think of a Veela.

When they arrived in a classroom Slughorn had rented, the room was already full. Lily was sure they were early. A rare moment for James, who was almost always late.

"Lily!" Slughorn beamed rushing over to them. "And handsome James! You two look absolutely wonderful. Ooh, Lily, I am deeply impressed with your nose and ears. Did you use a potion for that? No? And James! Very nice robe. I'm sure your parents happily leant you money for this expensive item. Although I don't know what you're _supposed_ to be…"

Lily caught James's eye from above Slughorn's head. The teacher was rather short. Lily grimaced at James and James rolled his eyes.

"Veela," James cut in between Slughorn's long compliments. "I'm supposed to be a Veela. Now, Sluggy, Lily and I have to say hello to others. We promised them."

Before Slughorn had time to say anything, James reached out a long arm and rescued Lily from the presence of Slughorn.

"Sorry," Lily said quickly as James pulled her away with great strength. She could heard Slughorn chuckling to himself.

"Sluggy. Jeez, only James could get away with that. Wouldn't it be lovely if James married Lily?"

Lily felt like the costume was too tight because she burned. Damn Slugghorn – or Sluggy, what she'll refer to him as from now on. The word sluggy seemed to represent his personality.

Why would he say something about her and James getting married? That was stupid! It was something that would _never_ happen.

She glanced at James. There was no emotion on his face that portrayed that he had heard the Potions teacher. Better that way.

…………………………………………

_Yes, it would_, James thought to himself as he heard Slughorn made a comment about him and Lily. _Too bad she doesn't want to._

James felt like a big prat for dressing as a Veela. It made him it look like he thought he was extraordinarily good-looking. He wasn't. That's why he didn't want some other costume to make him look uglier.

Lily, on the other hand, looked so beautiful. Her lips were a brighter red than usual making him want to ravish her immediately.

He was still holding onto her wrist, which he was glad about. Her skin was unbelievably smooth and soft. He could her forever. So who should they visit who is so far away so he could continue holding her hand?

Too bad Sirius saw them first. James reluctantly let go of Lily's wrist.

"Prongs and Evans!" Sirius beamed. "Having fun?"

"We just arrived," James explained.

"Yeah, it's quite boring right now," Sirius said then he looked at Lily. "Did you say Snape was in Sluggy's Club?"

"Yeah, he excels in Potions. We help each other often and I'm upset he's not in my class anymore," Lily said. "But _you're_ not in Sluggy's Club."

Personally, James thought it was too much talk on Snape.

Sirius laughed.

"Evans!" Sirius said, feigning shock. "Since when do you call Slughorn Sluggy? Has Prongs rubbed off onto you? Shame. And well observed, I am _not _in the club but I sneaked in. Moony is, of course, in the club but Wormtail isn't. He was too much of a wuss to come."

"You'll get kicked out when Slugg – Slughorn realises!" Lily exclaimed.

"Nah," Sirius said. "He'll be too drunk to notice. Poor old fella."

"You can't get drunk in school!" Lily said shocked.

"You're probably right," Sirius said. "But when he's happy being surrounded by famous and excelling people, he seems drunk. Laters now. I see some pretty eye candy eyeing ME."

Sirius gave a wink and disappeared into the crowd.

"Does he ever get scared?" Lily asked looking at the crowd as if Sirius could be seen.

"No," James said. "Sometimes that's the worst part of him."

"I see," Lily said. "I'm going to say hello to some other people. I'll see you later."

Lily gave a genuine smile and disappeared into the crowd like Sirius before her.

James didn't really have anyone to talk to. Sirius kept disappearing and reappearing at various parts of the room that it seemed like he was Apparating and Disapparating. James would occasionally spot Lily but she was too busy talking to some other girls (no boys, thank goodness). Girls tried to flirt with James (the Veela charms, he thought with a smirk) but he did not encourage it any further. Eventually, James floated around talking to Quidditch players and Gryffindors.

There were a few (poor) displays of performance. The Weird Sisters came and James thought his eardrums were popping. He wouldn't have mind if it meant he didn't have to listen to the torturous music any longer. The ghosts of Hogwarts apparently were doing comedy but it was more like horror as the Bloody Baron pretended to plunge swords into other ghosts and students. Slughorn went up to 'dance' instead only to embarrass himself. James finally believed Sirius's word that Slughorn appeared to be drunk around famous and excelling people.

James yawned and checked his watch. 11. 37PM. He thought back to Lily's words. They had been friends for two months. He had never been happier.

An idea suddenly occurred to him. He smiled and left the room.

……………………………………………………………….

Lily frowned as she pretended to search the crowd for a famous Weird Sister. She was actually searching for James. She hadn't seen him for awhile.

It was almost twelve. Would James miss out on that celebration? At exactly twelve, everyone would scream, howl, shriek, or whatever to sound like some monster. The best (Lily never understood how anyone could tell with the room full of screams) would receive 100 Galleons from Slughorn. Lily didn't need the money but it was amusing to see some people embarrass themselves for money.

Lily felt a tap on her shoulder. She whipped around, ready to hex if necessary but came face to face with a grinning James.

"Aren't happy to see me?" he teased.

Lily blushed again. Did he know she liked having his presence around?

"You just scared me," she said ignoring his question.

"Well, maybe this will make you happy," James said. He pulled out a small pink box with a silver box.

Even though Lily didn't know what was inside, she thought it was very, very pretty. Lily had to make sure she didn't look like a soppy mess.

"What is it?" she whispered, rather croakily.

"Open it," he whispered back passing the little box to her. Their fingers brushed and Lily's eyes almost fluttered at such a gentle touch. "But be careful. It could fly."

Curiosity filling her, Lily slowly undid the bow. She hesitated but saw James's encouraging eyes. She lifted the lid.

It was the Snitch. The one James always played with. Was he giving it to her? Why was he giving it to her? Did she get to keep it?

"Happy two months, Lily Evans," James said.

Lily was too speechless to reply or meet his eyes. She felt frozen. James thought this was a bad thing as he started stuttering.

"I…Oh, I'm a fool! I meant happy two months for our friendship. I know it's stupid and if I were to give you a present, it should be in one month, six months and a year and every year after that. But it didn't occur to me until today. And I thought…well, I thought to give you something. And it's stupid that it's just the Snitch. I know it's nothing special, especially since you don't even _like_ Quidditch. Oh, Lily, just chuck it out before I die of embarrassment."

Why was he embarrassed? She should be for not getting him something. No-one had ever given her a present because of friendship before. Especially something that meant so much to them. Tears filled her eyes.

Lily opened her mouth to tell him that but suddenly everyone around them wailed, screamed, shrieked, howled, growled and moaned. Apparently it was midnight.

Lily almost fell from fright as she wasn't expecting it but James caught her around the shoulders. No complaints really.

"Thank-you," Lily said to him. She was actually yelling over the noise. Couldn't the students shut up already? "This means so much to me and I feel so bad for not getting you anything."

James no longer looked embarrassed but finally happy. He tightened his grip on Lily. She smiled.

"Happy two months and a day, Lily Evans. You can buy me a present for our third month or no more presents for you, missy," James said mock-seriously.

"I will," Lily promised.

There was that tension again. So awkward. But what should happen next was clear: a kiss.

James seemed to sense this as he slowly closed his eyes and leaned forward. Lily's heart actually stopped. She never thought it was possible but it did. She didn't hear that thump of her heart. All she could feel was James's heat.

Her eyes fluttered close.

She felt his lips touch her. The smallest of contact that she could've imagined it herself. No pressure on them. Just a touch.

She was suddenly wretched away from him as a loud voice boomed in her ear. Lily's eyes flew open in shock and frustration. It was Slughorn. She could kill him. James looked equally frustrated.

"LILY!" SLughorn beamed. "YOU WON! The yelp you did right after everyone tried to be a monster was the BEST. 100 Galleons! See me tomorrow to claim it!"

He grinned at her before going back to his guests like a good host should.

The moment was gone. The tension was gone. The awkwardness remained. What was Lily supposed to do now?

"I was hardly the best," Lily grumbled avoiding eye contact.

"Who knows, Lily?" James said teasingly and Lily dared to look at him as he no longer held tension in his eyes but playfulness. "You can sound pretty good when you yelp."

Lily blushed.

"Move on, Veela Boy," she said. "It's no longer Halloween. Your Veela charms won't work on me."

James looked slightly confused and hurt so Lily gave him a grin to show she was playing around.

"Who knows, James?" she said. "Perhaps you never needed Veela charms."


	11. InBetween

CHAPTER TWO

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Feedback to Reviews:** did you guys know seven is my favourite number? only one less. XD

FountainInk: i hope the expectations don't go down. sniffles

lilfarie: LoL they've always been in love. well…you might question my talent after this

PhoenixFyre88: thank you. this one isn't.

piegirl10164: LoL. i agree to that. :)

Loz727: hmm…i don't know. this is how i pictured james and lily to be. :)

pippapear: LoL. standing ovation? XD yeah, sorry, i'm making him quite a horrible person (sluggy, that is).

**About this chapter: **You know how last chapter was quite good? well this one is quite…BAD! :'( i promise, promise, promise the next chapter is really good! :) just…think of this chapter a bridge chapter. .

**Chapter Eleven: In-Between**

"I HATE Sirius!" Mindy yelled on the first of November.

"Really?" Lily said, half paying attention. Mindy only talked about Sirius lately. "A few weeks ago you said you loved him."

"I did NOT!" Mindy said hotly. "I would never _love_ Sirius Black. He's a selfish, think-he's-the-best MORON!"

It appeared Mindy was still cut after the break-up with Sirius.

"What did he do now?" Lily asked patiently. Normally Mindy would reply 'nothing' and that would be the problem as he would be acting like she didn't exist.

So Lily was surprised when Mindy didn't say this.

"He didn't sneak me into the Halloween party! He offered other people, other girls but not me! I was stuck, practically with brainless Griffindors and a not-funny Peter while every other Gryffindor was at Sluggy's party!" Mindy raged.

"It wasn't that good," Lily lied. The only reason why it was good was because James gave her a present and an almost kiss.

"Don't lie, Lily," Mindy said. "I've heard from the girls in that club. They were trying to ride James up the wall but apparently you got in there first."

"What?!" Lily yelped jumping up from the grass she was so leisurely sitting on. "We didn't do anything!"

"No, not at all," Mindy said sarcastically. "Just heard you were groping, kissing and grinding James Potter."

"WHAT?!" Lily gasped. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Did people really perceive her to be promiscuous? Unaware of what she was doing, Lily was unattractively pulling at her hair. Lucky her best friend was there to tell her.

"Lily, Lily," Mindy said rolling her eyes. "Stop trying to go bald. Don't you realise gossips always tend to go way out of proportion? _You_ were they so _you_ would know what happened. I, on the other hand, was not and am upset that you didn't tell me how the rumour came to be."

Lily felt miserable. She had always told Mindy everything and ever since she had this strange bond with James, she had been keeping so much from her. She just wanted it to be a 'little secret' between her and James. She was being so selfish lately.

"I don't really know what's going on between me and James," Lily explained. "Like I always thought I hated him but now…I don't know. I think that I could possible…oh Merlin, I can't believe I'm going to admit this…but…I think I might _like_ like him."

Lily felt her cheeks flushed at her confession and burrowed her face in her hands. She fell back down next to Mindy on the grass. Her words were out in the open. She had feelings for James Potter.

"You think you might _like like_ him?" Mindy echoed. "How could you say you _think_ that? Because _I_ know it's a fact. Don't deny it, Lily. You have feelings for James. It's just hidden behind all those things you yell at him."

"But _why_ would I like him?" Lily moaned. She felt like she was a little girl having a huge crush on the jock of the school. Wasn't she supposed to be of age?

"He's good-looking, witty, smart, sporty, gold-hearted, brave – must I continue?" Mindy asked rolling her eyes.

"What about annoying, arrogant, show-off, mean bully?" Lily argued.

"That was two years ago. He has changed a lot, heck, he even stopped hexing Snape unless Snape hexes him first!" Mindy exclaimed.

Heck, Mindy was right. James had deflated his head and was now a mature adult. And double heck, she liked him.

"What do I do?" Lily whispered. "I never thought I'd be one of those girls who would fall for James Potter."

"Isn't everything already perfect in James's and Lily's World? I mean, why was there even that rumour?" Mindy asked.

"I wouldn't say perfect," Lily said grimly. "It's just…nice. I think the rumour started from when he gave me a present for our 'two-month' friendship. It was beautifully wrapped and it was the Snitch he always played with. I was really touched. And then we were about to kiss before Sluggy came and yelled I won 100 Galleons."

"That's beautiful," Mindy said misty-eyed. "A friendship present. We have to buy each other one, one day. And all those times you two spend together, there hasn't been another moment he tried to kiss you?"

"Well, there was this _one_ moment," Lily recalled. She remembered everything about James. "I was in his dorm, don't give me that look – we had something to discuss, and we were about to kiss before Sirius interrupted."

"Sirius?" Mindy said with a foul look. She seemed to really hate him lately. "How did he interrupt in James's dorm?"

"Ah…" Lily said trying not to wince. Could she tell Mindy about the mirrors? Might as well. It wasn't like the mirror connections were unheard of. "James and Sirius have an enchanted mirror where they can talk to each other."

Mindy was grumbling and no longer look interested in Lily's messed up romance life.

"Exactly like Sirius. Ruins everything."

"It was an accident," Lily assured. She knew Sirius would do anything for her and James to get together. Sirius had offered help but Lily had denied believing she didn't _want_ to be with James. Now she did but she couldn't exactly tell Sirius that.

"He's such a player and I was a fool to fall for him," Mindy said with a look of disgust.

"Isn't…James?" Lily whispered.

Mindy glanced at her sideways.

"James doesn't ask girls out unless it's you. They ask him out and he answers politely yes if she's pretty. But he explains the terms: they just have one date and the day after they shall remain friends. Sirius, on the other hand, asks out any pretty girl and his term is to dump them whenever he pleases!"

Lily nibbled her bottom lip. How far had James gone with a girl? Suddenly she felt inexperienced. She had always worked so hard at school and school wasn't everything.

"Firstly, where do you hear this from? Girls tell me nothing about James; they only ask questions about him as if I'm suppose to have the answers. And secondly, I thought you dumped Sirius," Lily said.

"Jeez, for a smart which, you can be quite dense!" Mindy laughed. "Girls feel threatened by you because you're the only one James wants. And speaking of which, just make a move on James! I bet he'll be happy about it. And – argh! – Sirius! HE dumped me! He can go bang a wall for breaking up with me because I don't want a tattoo of his name!"

Lily laughed.

"He's still maturing, he'll get around it," Lily assured. "And, honestly, do you think James might, you know, like me?"

"Yes." Mindy's answer was quick and full of confidence. "I see the way you two look at each other whether it's an argument or a conversation. It's want."

Want. James was a want? Probably.

"You're the bestest friend," Lily said hugging Mindy. "You should tattoo my name to remind you of how grateful I am to have you as a friend."

"Ha, ha," Mindy said sarcastically not returning the hug. "Firstly, bestest is not a word, you're suppose to be smart. And if I ever get a tattoo it'll be 'Mindy and Lily Friends For Life."

"I'll remember that next time I write an essay," Lily said and felt slightly confused when she thought she heard what she said before. "And for that tattoo, I'll always have a matching one in my heart."

Mindy winked at her and returned her hug.

…………………………………………………………

"Why does he look like that?" Sirius asked Remus.

"He does look rather strange," Peter squeaked.

James Potter's friends were talking about James Potter himself, who was less than a foot away from all of them.

"Lily," Remus explained.

"Evans?" Sirius asked confused.

"Evans?" Peter echoed.

"Lily," James murmured lovingly.

"Prongsie, you look love-sick," Sirius said looking somewhere between disgusted and amused.

"You had the same look on your face when you were with Mindy," Remus said plainly.

"Did not!" Sirius said hotly. "That stupid witch won't tattoo my name! All the other girls said they would!"

"You never asked any other girl," Remus pointed out.

"How would you know?" Sirius snapped.

"Because I suggested telling Mindy to tattoo your name eons ago and you said it was such a great idea and a shame you never thought of it yourself," James said breaking from his trance. "But why dwell on broken romance when there is a brewing one?"

He seemed to fall back into his trance again.

"Mindy and I never had romance," Sirius snarled. "We just had…"

"Sex?" Peter squeaked with shining eyes.

"NOTHING!" Sirius roared. A group of people looked at him and he scowled at them. They frowned back and turned away. Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I think I might have romance will Lily. She seems to be letting me snog her," James murmured then a cloud then passed his face. "But we keep getting interrupted!"

"Seize the opportunity next time!" Peter encouraged. "Where no-one can interrupt!"

"Pah!" James said tiredly. "When would _that_ be? What next wonderful moment would come by where Lily decides it'll be okay to be snogged by me? The only two times was when she was touched. The first time I let her onto the huge secret and the second time, I gave her a present."

"Give her a present then," Sirius said sourly. He was still in a foul mood for some reason.

"There's nothing coming up," James said with a frown. Or is there something coming up? He could only think of Lily lately so wasn't quite sure of future events until his head was cleared.

"A month and a bit is Christmas," Remus explained. "Followed by New Year's. And I think it's her birthday on January. February also holds Valentine's Day."

"Her birthday's in January?" James asked alerted. Damn, all these years and never even knew her birthday. Shame on him.

"I think so," Remus said with a frown. "She mentioned something like that when we were Prefects."

"See!" Peter said beaming. "You have three months where you can give her presents and she'll be flattered! She'll be yours in no time!"

"And she might tattoo your name," Sirius said with an angry roll of his eyes.

James smiled. Yes, he had many opportunities to give Lily more presents that she deserved and to win her over. Christmas, New Year, possibly her birthday and Valentine's Day. He would treat her right. Treat her like the world. Because although they weren't together, she was the world to him.

And he had a month and a bit to prepare his ideas.


	12. Mistletoe

CHAPTER TWO

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Feedback to Review:** notice how it's not plural? :(

pippapear: thank you lots and lots. yeah sorry for making james uncertain. :( and lily has now confessed!

**Chapter Twelve: Mistletoe**

Lily checked her silver watch. 4.37PM. Hrm. She had to meet Mindy at 5.30PM to work on an essay together. She had about fifty minutes of nothingness to do. Lily had finished all other homework and a part of her nagged her to start the essay without Mindy. No, she could not do that.

Perhaps she should go to the Common Room. Yeah. There were still other ornaments inside that she hadn't closely inspected and…James might be there. He was rather interesting.

Smiling, Lily said the password, entered with the portrait door swinging shut…only to knock James off a ladder.

"JAMES!" Lily cried appalled. "Ohmigod, are you okay?! I'm so sorry! What – what are you doing?"

After her shock, Lily came to realise she was sprawled across James on an angle and the reason why she wasn't hurt was because he broke the fall. The ladder had fallen down too, but thankfully, not on them.

James moaned. Lily feared that he had broken something and it was because of her. Shakily, she pushed herself off him and stood up. Blushing slightly, Lily pulled down her dress and then frowned when she saw a mistletoe on his face.

"James?" she asked uncertainly. "Are you okay?"

James groaned and opened one of his eyes. He was peering through the luscious leaves of the mistletoe.

"I'm not in that much pain. You?"

"Fine," Lily said.

Not even sure what and why she was doing what she did, Lily crouched down next to him. She gently removed the mistletoe. James was looking at her with that intensity again. She lightly brushed away his dark hair from his forehead.

"Are you sure?" she whispered.

James's eyes bored into hers. He sat up forcing Lily to remove her fingers. He took those fingers in his long slim ones and gave it a gentle squeeze before letting go.

"Would I lie?" he whispered back.

Seconds past. And all they did was stare into each other's eyes. She could drink him in forever…

"Is this a mistletoe?" Lily asked picking up the mistletoe. Of course it was a mistletoe. Who wouldn't know that? But she had to do something to break the tension.

"Sure is," James said standing up and taking it from her. Their fingers brushed and Lily drew in a breath. He was so incredible.

"What are you doing with it?" she asked stupidly. He was obviously trying to put it up. Did that mean…? Did that mean that he wished to kiss her? Lily's heart was thumping madly in her chest that she thought she'll explode.

"Putting it up," James explained. He picked up the ladder and placed it near the portrait door.

"Why don't you levitate it?" Lily suggested.

It was better not to ask 'why' he was doing such a thing. After all, he could just be a Christmas Nazi, who wanted to make everything Christmassy. But that wouldn't make Lily mind.

"Glasses," James muttered jabbing a sharp finger towards his glasses. "When I look up, I can't see because the lenses of glasses only reach a certain point."

"Oh," Lily replied. "Do you want me to levitate it?"

The cloud across James's face passed and he grinned at her. Lily's heart was not slowing down.

"It's fine, Lily," James said. He started climbing the ladder.

"Are you only going to put one mistletoe up?" Lily asked. She quickly gasped when she heard what she said. It sounded like she wanted more mistletoes! She did, but James didn't have to know that!

James paused at tying up the mistletoe and peered at her.

"Why? Do you want more?" he asked.

_Come on, Lily! You're smart! You should think of something NOW!_

"Because if there were more, I could help," Lily answered, ignoring the second question. Of course she wanted more. She wanted the whole room to be filled with mistletoes.

"Nah, no more," James said still looking at her as if she was some strange specimen. She was. "I thought mistletoes are supposed to be under doors…?"

"They might be…" Lily said uncertainly. She never really paid attention to mistletoes. "Well then, you don't have one for my door and yours?"

"No, I can buy some," James said _still_ looking at her and not resuming his tying of the mistletoe.

"No, I'll buy some," Lily said quickly. She really had nothing to do and she really didn't want to embarrass herself in front of James any longer.

"I'll come," James quickly offered. He finally took his gaze off her and finished tying the mistletoe. He gave her a smile and then climbed down the ladder.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked hesitantly. After all, he might have something better to do. Just because she wasn't as socially out there like James was the reason why she had so much spare time.

"Sure, don't you want me to come?" James asked looking the slightest hurt.

"I do!" Lily said her cheeks flushing red for the millionth time that day. "But you might be busy!"

"I'm not," James said as he folded the ladder. He bent down and slung it over his shoulders. His muscles bulged from his T-shirt making Lily gulped. She turned redder and looked away.

"That's good," Lily heard herself say. "We could buy other Christmas ornaments…"

"Of course," James said with a warm smile. "Do you want to go now? I got nothing to do…"

"Sure!" Lily piped. After all, she had time to kill before meeting up with Mindy.

"Sweet," James said. "Let me grab a jacket."

He shot pass her with a grin before making his way upstairs. Lily was tinkling everywhere.

……………………………………

_What to wear, what to wear_, James thought frantically as he threw clothes all over the floor.

Okay, so he saw Lily like _all the time_ but still, he wanted to look good. Just wear _something_ so Lily could see him more than a person who she was acquaintance with.

James finally opted for a dark blue sweater. Well, it'll make him warm. And if he felt cold perhaps Lily would let him hug her. Perhaps not.

Not wanting to keep Lily wait for long, James grabbed a black scarf on the way out.

Lily didn't appear to have moved from the spot she was at. She seemed slightly stiff yet she still looked beautiful in a long-sleeved purple knit dress with black tights and bright red shoes. But then again she always looked beautiful.

"I hope it isn't too cold," James said grimly as he opened the portrait door. He was very aware of the mistletoe he just passed.

Okay, James was a sad, sad, sad person. After years of trying to kiss Lily, he had failed. So he decided that the only way he might achieve this was to place a mistletoe above their heads. He was hoping that Lily wouldn't break Christmas traditions.

But now, James quickly scurried through the portrait door. As much as he wanted to kiss Lily Evans, he feared it just as much. He hoped he wouldn't hurt her with the fierce passion he had for her or that she'll judge him as a sloppy kisser.

And not to mention feeling guilty. He would have cheated a kiss from her. Perhaps he should take down the mistletoe…

"You okay?" Lily asked softly.

"Yeah," James said with a smile.

They didn't talk anymore when they went to Hogsmeade. Occasionally, James would help Lily step over some twigs or jagged rocks on the way. Holding Lily's hand for a brief second made James feel hot all over.

After helping Lily for the sixth time over a rock, James noticed that her hand was very cold.

"Are you cold?" James asked when he reluctantly let hand go as she regained her balance.

What a stupid question. Of course was cold. Her lips were a brighter red than normal and she was shivering.

"No!" Lily said through chattering teeth.

"You are," James said firmly. He looked down at what he was wearing. Damn. Sweater. If he gave it to Lily he would turn into ice as he was only wearing a T-shirt underneath.

Perhaps he could hold her.

"Lily," James said softly. "I swear I'm growing old now and more mature so when I tell you my request I swear it's out of pure goodness and not because I'm a pervert. But, Lily, since you're cold, do you think that if we held each other we'll be warmer?"

James's heart was pounding furiously in his chest. He feared that he just totally embarrassed himself but feared that she'll say no. He _really_ wanted to hold her all the way to Hogsmeade and back.

Lily stared up at him with large, emerald eyes. The look was of pure shock.

"Forget it," James mumbled looking away. He felt his cheeks colour and it had nothing to do with the cold. "I guess –"

James stopped short when Lily wrapped a slender arm around his waist. His breath caught in his throat and then he let out it out in a whoosh. _Lily Evans was holding him!_ She lightly rested her head on his shoulder.

James was no longer cold.

Holding his breath, James extended an arm and placed it around Lily's shoulders. Merlin, she was small. He pulled her closer and tightened his grip. He didn't want to let go.

"Thank-you," Lily whispered.

Thank you? What was Lily thanking him for? Well, holding her? He'd do it for free forever if she wanted him to.

James decided it was wise not to reply and the two of them finished their journey to Hogsmeade without another word or another help over obstacles.

"This seems like a pretty Christmas shop!" Lily breathed excitedly, breaking the silence.

James watched her point with her free hand to a shop near the corner in the shape of a snowball.

"What are we waiting for?" James grinned down at her. Lily beamed back and James's heart flopped.

James reluctantly let her go when they entered the shop. Did it really have to be hot inside? He supposed so as he was feeling rather hot.

"James, isn't this cute?" Lily smiled brightly walking up to a snowman that could talk.

"_How do you do?"_ the snowman asked, taking off his bowler's hat to bow but found it difficult due its stumpiness.

Lily laughed.

"I think we should buy it," James said liking Lily's reaction.

"Me too!" Lily smiled. Then her smile vanished. "Oh no! I left my wallet back at Hogwarts!"

Like as if James wouldn't pay for her.

"So?" James asked. "I got money. I have tonnes of money. Whatever you want, I shall buy for you."

Lily looked at him, aghast.

"I have to pay you back later," she stated.

"No way," James said as he picked up the snowman. The snowman said something that sounded like _'Don't touch me!'_

"James," Lily said warningly. "I refuse to let people buy things for me."

"Presents, sweetheart," James said going to the counter. "Do you want anything else from this shop?"

Lily narrowed her eyes.

"No," she said. "If you're going to pay for the things, I don't want anything else. Including that snowman!"

_Please, _James thought wearily. _Let us not fight. Do we both have to be stubborn?_

"I'll buy Mr. Snowman for myself," James said shooting a grin. "Okay, Lily, don't give me that face. You can pay be back after."

Lily immediately brightened but that didn't mean she knew that James was lying. As if he would accept her money; he'd spend all the Galleons he had for her.

They grabbed a few more Christmas decorations including candles, ornaments for the tree and stockings. James hands were practically full. He supposed there was no way he'd be holding Lily on the way back.

They bought their things (there was a small argument about who should hold the bags and James just won) and were about to leave when Lily placed a hand on his shoulder.

James looked back at her with a frown.

"What's wrong?"

Lily blinked her almond-shaped eyes and pointed above their heads.

"Mistletoe," she whispered; her eyes extremely shiny.

James almost didn't hear her as his heart pounded when he looked up. Lily's eyes were now so intense it was practically blazing.

"I – " she started but James shook his head.

He let the bags he were carrying drop. He didn't care whether they were fragile or not. He just wanted to hold Lily's face.

And he did. He placed both hands gently across Lily's cheeks and Lily's eyes seemed to flutter.

"Mistletoe, Lily," James whispered before crashing his lips down on hers.


	13. Christmas

CHAPTER TWO

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Feedback to Reviews: **Yay! Reviews. However, this is going to be the last time I have this subheading. We're all here to read chapters, not my little feedbacks! LoL.

Little Miss Elizabeth: LoL. not this chapter…yet. thank you a lot and i hope i can sustain the way you have envisioned harry's parents! XD

lilfarie: LoL. i forgive you. you can be happy forever too!

magicalToes: LoL. thank you. and the answer to that question…i think it's still a couple more years…

keyword paramore: Lol thank you. i like cute. yeah, i'm scared they'll be OOC. :)

**Chapter Thirteen: Christmas**

"You know, I've always liked James but if he makes you so worked-up, I'll start to hate him," Mindy said dryly.

Lily shot her a dirty look.

They were discussing whether Lily should buy James a Christmas present or not. She kept changing her mind every second. What if he laughed at her? What if he bought _her _a present? What was she supposed to buy him?

"I'm sure a kiss would be fine," Mindy added.

Lily shot her another dirty look but her heart fluttered madly in her chest. Oh, she remembered her first kiss with James.

It was at that cute Christmas shop. She was about to hex herself for stopping James for a kiss but thankfully, he kissed her. Lily thought they were floating and she thought she felt something that could only be identified with love. Did she _love_ James Potter? But they only kissed once. But then again, she had known him for so long.

It was slightly awkward after that kiss. James was being a total gentleman instead of his sarcastic self. When they reached the common room, James wouldn't take her money. They had a fight with loud yells that Lily thought everyone in Hogwarts would hear. Then, out of nowhere, James pulled her into his arms and whispered against her forehead, 'Let's not fight, Lily.'

Lily hadn't gotten over the shock to enjoy the hug before he released her and disappeared up the stairs.

They never discussed that kiss and Lily didn't know whether she was pleased or disappointed about it. She was sure James wasn't playing with her because he'd have said something about it to the entire school. But it seemed like no-one knew anything about it.

Their relationship was just pleasant, if not, awkward.

"Why don't you ask him what he wants?" Mindy suggested.

"That would mean I _am _buying him a present," Lily moaned. "But I don't want it to appear that I'm buying him a present when he doesn't buy me one!"

"He's probably buying you one," Mindy replied rolling her eyes. "Doesn't he always buy you a present for Christmas?"

Lily winced at the memory.

"Not last year after we had a massive argument over Severus."

"Just buy him one!" Mindy prodded. "What do you have to lose?"

"I just…don't want him to laugh at me," Lily said feebly.

"What about all the times _you _laughed at him," Mindy pointed out, rather nastily. "He was in love with you and you just laughed at him the whole time!"

Lily winced once again. She really was a horrible person. But the reason she laughed was because she wasn't quite sure _what_ she was supposed to do. She always felt slightly nervous around him. Couldn't anyone tell that she hadn't mastered a fake laugh?

"Okay, I'll buy him a present," Lily sighed.

"Awesome!" Mindy replied with a huge grin.

"So…" Lily said, still feeling as miserable as ever. "What am I suppose to buy?"

……………………………………….

"Lingerie!" Sirius grinned broadly.

James went to hex him but he easily deflected it.

"I'm trying to be serious, guys," James said through gritted teeth. He also didn't want to picture the magnificent Lily in a lingerie. Too hot. "What should I buy Lily for Christmas?"

"Something to show you care?" Peter asked, his eyes gleaming hopefully. At the same time Sirius said, "Of course you want to be _Sirius_."

"Great help," James said sarcastically. He turned to Remus who was the most helpful out of the whole group. "What do you think, Moony?"

"She seemed flattered by the Snitch and I personally thought it wasn't that excellent. Perhaps she'd like anything that you buy her," Remus said looking thoughtful.

"Or she's a great actress," Sirius said unhelpfully.

"Don't stress too much," Remus said trying to be helpful.

"It gets worse every year," Sirius said. "He stresses more and more over Lily's present with each passing year. It's PATHETIC! Last year he almost cried because he didn't have to buy her a present. You'd think he'd be happy he didn't have to stress over it!"

"That's all LIES!" James hissed. Sometimes his best friend could be his worse enemy.

"Perhaps you can casually ask Mindy," Remus suggested.

Red and green sparks emitted from Sirius's wand.

"Do we have to talk about that girl?" he snarled. "Just buy Evans anything! You're rich anyway, so it's not like you can't afford anything!"

James glared at him. Sirius just didn't see that presents also symbolised meaning.

"You guys are useless!" James said standing up. He saw Remus slightly frown and felt a pang. At least Remus was trying. "Not you Moony – you've been great. I just need to see Snivellus."

"WHAT?!" Sirius growled standing up. "You're ditching _us_ for _him_? _You're_ USELESS!"

Sirius was really getting to James now.

"I'm not! I still have detention with him after blowing him off after my busy schedule!" James roared. "Why are you always acting like a rat all of a sudden?"

Sirius grumbled something but did look at James.

"I'll see you guys later," James muttered. Remus and Peter waved a bye. James raised the corner of his mouth for a smile but instantly dropped when he realised who he had to meet next.

Severus Snape.

…………………………………………..

Severus was shaking. Oh yeah, he was sitting in a deserted room waiting for the perfect James Potter to arrive. That stupid detention. But he wasn't shaking because he was scared. No way was _he_ scared. Just…angry. Yeah, angry, that he had to waste his time in a stupid detention.

_You don't have anything else to do_, a stupid voice in his voice said.

"Shut up!" Severus growled and at that moment James had to walk in.

"Really?" James said raising an eyebrow. "You talk to yourself? I suppose you're a rather lonely guy."

_Just ignore him_, Severus thought angrily to himself.

"Let's get to work, Snape. See that cupboard over there? Well it's full of cauldrons that have leftover slime from experiments. Unfortunately, the students did not take the time to clean it off. That's your job today. And please do the both of us a favour. Hurry please, so we both don't have to stay here any longer."

Severus glowered at him and stood up from the chair. He opened the cupboard James was talking about and saw four cauldrons with an ugly green goo around it. Stupid witches and wizards who can't afford their own equipment.

Severus started on the first cauldron and realised that any spell he used was useless. Feeling anger sweep through his whole body, Severus grabbed a sponge. He was very aware that James was smirking at him.

"Don't you have anything else to do?" Severus growled in James's direction.

"I do, so please hurry up," James said.

"Why do you keep looking at me, then?" Severus demanded. He scrubbed hard at a gooey corner and part of the goo fell onto his robe. He heard James snort.

"I wonder how you live with yourself," James said. "How can you stand looking in a mirror? How Lily can stand looking at you?"

At the mention of Lily's name, Severus's patience ran out. He turned around to face a braced James and threw the sponge in his direction.

"You don't deserve to know Lily!" Severus rasped. "You know nothing about her! You don't know what it's like for her to go home; you don't know what makes her sad or happy. You're just another one of those guys who only want girls for their looks!"

"Don't you dare say that, Snape," James growled stepping closer. Severus did not flinch. "I care very much about Lily. And if you did, you would not expose her to your little Death Eater friends."

Severus raised an arm to hex James into the cauldron full of a goey substance but James disarmed him. He was soon holding two wands.

"Get back to work," James snarled. "You don't want another detention with me."

Severus was not ready to lose this one.

"Do you think Lily really cares about you? What time of the year is it, Potter? That's right. Christmas. Do you think Lily keeps all those presents you give her? She opens them in front of Mindy and me. We all have a good laugh and then she throws it out. What was it last time? Beanie. Good one, Potter. Very original. What about all those other years? A pair of boots and there was also a teddy bear. _A teddy bear._ Does it look like Lily needs to cuddle something to fall asleep? You have no idea what she likes but I can tell you something she doesn't like: you. So don't even _think_ for a second that Lily cares about you. She doesn't."

Severus could see that the hands holding the wands were white.

"Merry Christmas, Potter," Severus smirked as he picked up the sponge. Time to finish this detention.

……………………………………………….

Lily woke up with a smile. Christmas! Sure enough, her room was filled with presents. Letting out a laugh, she quickly opened them all; not caring whether the wrappings scattered around her neat room.

A pretty butterfly hairclip from Mindy that could change size and colour.

A rather revealing top from Sirius and 'the boys'. However, Remus did send her a massive box of flowers.

'The Illiad' from her parents, who knew she had always wanted to read that epic poem.

A cheap-smelling perfume from Petunia. Well, at least it was something.

A miniature model of her and Severus dressed as a typical witch and wizard, carved from marble, from Severus. It was accompanied by a sorry/Merry Christmas card. Lily's eyes immediately filled with tears after that; she really missed her best guy friend.

Lily also had other presents but they didn't satisfy her want to receive a present from someone else. James Potter. He didn't send her anything but a card.

A cheap card that looked like from a Muggle shop as the pictures weren't dancing. All it had written inside was:

_To: Lily_

_Merry Christmas._

_James_

That was all. Lily couldn't help the tears that fell down her face. James didn't care about her. How could he if he only sent her that for Christmas?

She just never thought it would make her heart tear apart.

…………………………………………….

James woke up feeling like a troll. He was always happy on Christmas but today, he felt like crap. He hated everything at the moment. Why do all these people pretend to be cheery on Christmas when it was all a façade?

James blinked at the small box wrapped in thin silver tissue wrapping. From Lily, it said.

Cautiously and feeling even more depressed, James picked up the box. He slowly untied the purple ribbon. A golden box fell out. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he opened it.

Glasses. Thick, black rectangle-shaped lenses with snitches on the side. Glasses that turned a shade of blue in the sun to protect from the UV rays and were resistant to rain. Expensive, best-of-them-all Wizarding glasses.

Did Lily think this was some sort of joke? To buy him a present to emphasise on his most hated feature? His impaired eyes. Was she laughing at the cheap card he found on the floor yesterday? It wasn't like if he had bought her something expensive she wouldn't have laughed anyway.

James threw the glasses against the door and it shattered into fragments of black dust. An image of what his heart looked like at the moment.


	14. The Last GoodBye

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Feedback to Reviews: **Wow. So many reviews. XD Perhaps, I should update less frequently to get some. keke.

BRI: you requests if finally (sorry for the lateness!) answered.

Anonymous: LoL. never underestimate the power of a mistletoe.

mYstiFiedAnGeL: of course they'll make up. where does harry come from? keke

Oldmanmah: thank u, thank u. i hope it remains that way

wickedwench1: LoL, i love the feeling of angst. and **yes**, embarrassingly enough, i stuffed up the houses. argh! i forgot that sev was in slytherin until james and lily went patrolling. i'm unsure how to fix it up. WAAH!

pippapear: LoL. yeah i sometimes wonder whether they are just as stubborn as i make them. dw, they'll come around. XD

moonlight-pixy: thanks a bunch! i try and update as soon as possible. honestly.

music.is.my.soulmate: thank-you, it's nice to know that everything is moving in a steady line rather than dropping. they'll make up. eventually. LoL

**Chapter Fourteen: The Last Good-Bye**

"Are you crying because you're going to miss me when you go home for Christmas break?" Mindy teased as she hugged a crying Lily.

"Shut up," Lily mumbled.

"Here, here," Mindy said releasing Lily. "I don't know why James didn't buy you anything but I'm sure it's for a good reason. Everyone can tell that he wants you bad."

"Don't lie to make me feel, better, okay? The reason is because he doesn't like me in that way; I don't think he ever did. I just thought he did because I wanted to think that he did," Lily sighed. Great. That sentence came out as a tongue twister.

"I'll find out, so stop crying! You're gonna make me cry!" Mindy said hugging Lily again. Sure enough, Lily felt her best friend's tears mingle with her own. "It hurts seeing you in pain, you know. And you know I can't stand watching people cry."

"Okay, okay," Lily said with a laugh pulling away. She wiped away Mindy's tears with her fingers. "Let's be happy before we leave each other when we go home."

"Sounds good to me," Mindy said. "Just the two of us. Forget about everything else."

"Yep," Lily agreed. "I'll get back to you. I have to see Dumbledore before I leave."

"With James?" Mindy asked tentatively.

"No, thank goodness," Lily said with a sigh of relief. "I can't stand looking at him right now without feeling a wand in my heart."

"I see," Mindy said. "Okay, I'll catch you later. The lake in a few, right?"

"Right," Lily said with a radiant smile. "Don't forget."

"Never."

……………………………………………

Perfect. That was how Severus perceived the world to be at the moment. James Potter looked like a ghost hovering the school with a lost soul while Severus was friends with Lily Evans again.

After Lily received his present, she practically ran to the Slytherin Common Room to greet him. When Severus stepped out, she jumped into his arms and hugged him tight. She apologised with tears in her voice how she didn't get him a present and how she missed him terribly as a friend.

Severus didn't mind receiving no present. A hug from Lily is better than anything Galleons could buy. Although his heart felt like it was combusting from the tears that then dripped onto his ragged clothing, he was glad he could hold her for awhile longer as she cried into his arms.

To his dismay, she later then pulled away, wiped her tears away, and told him she had to see Mindy. Severus nodded although he wished she could stay awhile longer.

Lily gave a smile, and then, pecked his cheek. As if the shock from her hug wasn't enough. He could feel her warm breath on his cheek and still, the imprint of her lips on his _skin_.

He was in love with Lily. He always had been. And he'd rather be a friend than nothing at all.

…………………………………………………………

"Do you know when Miss Evans is coming?"

James really wanted to smash the cool, calm face of Albus Dumbledore. Why was he always so happy? Didn't he have any problems? Why did he have to mention Lily? Couldn't he find out himself? After all, wasn't Dumbledore supposed to be the smartest wizard out there?

"Soon, I guess," James muttered.

Did he have to stay any longer in Dumbledore's office? Can't a boy just go back to his room and wallow in his loneliness?

James seriously thought that there was no point in coming to the office. All he had to listen to was that because he was going home for the Christmas break, his role as Head Boy will be shared among the Prefect Boys. That is, if James didn't mind. HE DIDN'T CARE! He just wanted to be as far away from Lily as possible.

The whole time…he thought that Lily might actually like him. Instead, he had to find out from that greaseball that Lily was pretending to be friends with him so she could have a laugh with her friends. She was just as evil as Snivellus herself.

"Mr. Potter?"

Great. Now the crackpot was talking to him.

"Yeah," James said, trying to keep his impatience in tact.

"Are you okay?"

Was this old wizard seriously insane? What did Dumbledore think he'll say? That he was perfect while it felt like Lily just poked a million holes in his heart, so he was bleeding blood? That he was _not_ okay and that he was ready to drop all his problems onto an ancient fossil?

"Yes," James replied stiffly.

Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak 'wisdom' when there was a knock on the polished door. James's body felt like it was made of ice. Please, please, not Lily. Not now. Not ever.

"Come in," Dumbledore spoke welcomely, his liquid blue eyes not leaving James.

The door creaked open and James didn't have to turn to know it was Lily. It was the effect of Lily's presence. His heart would automatically pound at miles per hour, his hands would start to feel sleek and his mouth would be dry. Lily was there.

"Nice to see you again, Miss Evans," Dumbledore greeted, wrinkles on the edge of his eyes as he smiled.

"You too, sir, and you too, James," Lily whispered from behind him.

James swallowed what felt like slime and turned around in the comfortable armchair to look at Lily. Damn, why must she be so beautiful? Too bad she was a heartbreak.

"Yes, it is very nice to see you again," James spoke woodenly, before turning around back in the armchair. Why was that Headmaster still looking at him?!

"Um…so Professor Dumbledore, you wanted to see me?" Lily said tentatively taking feather steps closer. She then took the vacant seat next to James. For James, she was way too close.

"I'm leaving, professor," James said, standing up. "See you after the holidays. You…too, Lily."

Lily's eyes were shining when it looked into James. Shining of happiness. She never wanted to look at him again.

"Bye, James."

Their last good-bye.

……………………………………………………………….

Lily's eyes were shining with tears. She was sure of it. James had never been colder to her in her entire life. Worse than that encounter on the train. What had she done wrong?

"You okay, Miss. Evans?" Dumbledore asked tentatively.

Lily mustered a smile. It was nice to have a gentle soul caring about you.

"Yes, I am, thank-you," she replied.

"Well, I requested for you about your duty as Head Girl. As you are returning home, your responsibilities will be shared among the Prefects. That is, if we have your permission."

"Of course," Lily replied once again, surprised that her permission was even needed.

"And also, I just remembered, I need my two Heads to form a speech about the Valentine Special. I know it's a bit advance but I thought perhaps the two of you could work on it over the break without the hassles of schoolwork. And I personally would do the speech myself but you and James are much more respected by our school body."

"There's a Valentine Special?" Lily asked blankly. Since when?

"Of course!" Dumbledore said with laughter. "I'm ashamed of myself for not thinking about it before. All classes will be cancelled for the day with special classes that have a tint of romance. For example, temporary love potions (which I'm sure all students have mastered anyway), ballroom classes, cooking lessons by elves and much, much more. Oh, I have goose bumps thinking about it!"

Lily was getting goose bumps too. Perhaps students didn't _want _to celebrate romance??

"Okay," Lily said forcing a smile. "I'm sure it'll be a great success. I have to go now, professor. I haven't finished packing my things."

"Sure, of course," Dumbledore said with a swift hand motion. "Oh and I forgot to mention it to James. So many events were happening. You don't mind telling him, do you? I'm sure you two keep in contact a lot."

How could she say no?

"Sure," Lily whispered. Speaking to James about a Valentine's Special? That would be her worst nightmare. Thanks, Dumbledore.

Dumbledore beamed down from his half-moon spectacles.

"You're every man's dream."

………………………………………………………

For the first time everyone was looking at Severus Snape when he was happy. Well, maybe they were looking at Lily who was walking alongside him. Severus knew he'd prefer to look at Lily than himself.

"You looking forward to this break?" Severus asked gently.

Lily looked up at him and smiled.

"Of course, more time with my best friend, who wouldn't like that?" she beamed.

Severus was tingling everywhere.

"Are you sure it's okay for your parents to pick me up?" Severus asked, avoiding eye contact. Ever since Second Year, Lily's generous parents have picked him up as well from the train station. Ever since Second Year, he had asked whether it was okay.

"Of course," Lily said with a laugh. She playfully hit his arm. Severus's heart could combust from happiness.

"So…Sev, have you packed everyt…" Lily's voice suddenly trailed off.

Severus reluctantly followed her unblinking gaze where it was watching…Potter. Potter and his cronies had stopped as well. And now Potter and his Lily were gazing at each other.

"Sev," Lily whispered without breaking eye-contact. "I have to talk to James. It's about this Head thing."

"Okay," Severus said, his heart able to combust from grief at any second. "I'll wait for you."

"Don't," Lily whispered, still in some kind of trance, as she looked into James's direction.

She let go of her luggage and slowly walked over to Potter. Potter whispered something to his loser friends and they nodded in her direction before scurrying off.

Severus looked away. It was too painful to watch. He grabbed the handle of one of Lily's luggage and pulled it behind him out the entrance. Without Lily.

…………………………………………

"James," Lily whispered as she stepped closer. He really was perfect.

"Lily," James said stiffly. "I have to go."

"I know," Lily said apologetically. For some reason, she felt like she wanted to cry. Want to cry into his arms again. He made her feel safe…cared for. "Dumbledore told me to tell you that we have to work on a speech to deliver to the school about a Valentine Special."

"A what?"

"Valentine Special," Lily repeated, feeling her cheeks flush. She felt stupid. She was talking to the coolest boy in school and he didn't care about her. "He wanted us to work on it over the break because we don't have any homework."

"Oh," James said flatly. "It'll be hard when we both live quite far away. We could work on it when we come back, couldn't we? It's not like we're both under a pile of essays."

"Oh…yeah," Lily said. Why was James so cold to her all of a sudden? What did she do? What happened to the James who always joked with her?

"Well…I'll see you soon, then," Lily said forcing herself to walk away. Staying any closer to James was making the pieces of her heart break into smaller pieces.

She turned to leave the school when James called her back.

"Look, Lily, if you want to work on it over the break, owl me, okay?"

Lily looked into the handsome face of James. His beautiful hazel eyes were narrowed with concern and worry. A slight crease above his brows that Lily wanted to smooth with her lips. That was James. Always concerned and worried about her. Not because he cared. But because he didn't want _anyone_ to be upset.

"Okay."


	15. The Place I Call Home

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Feedback to Reviews: **Thank-you for all the reviews!! XD It seriously makes me smile. Like, when I log in and then it comes up with that ding sound and says I have xnumbers of emails, I feel like I'm in heaven.  
I am very, very sorry for updating after awhile. I'll try to update as soon as possible but sometimes I am piled with lots of homework. . However, more reviews increase more motivation. ;

**About this chapter:** It's the LAST bridge-chapter. So all following chapters will be great! :)

**Chapter Fifteen: The Place I Call Home**

"Petunia didn't come today?"

Although Lily was asking lightly, Severus could sense how distraught she was over how her sister didn't want to come to pick her up. Although Severus would get cold shivers when she was near, Petunia had always come with the Evans.

"No, she didn't, sweetie," Mr. Evans said, looking the slightest sad. "She said she had to help Vernon with homework."

"She couldn't even spare a few hours just to pick me up?" Lily whispered.

Mrs. Evans turned around from the front seat, fought the strain of the seatbelt, and patted Lily's knee.

"Vernon did stay overnight, I think Tuney felt a bit awkward if she had to leave him by the house by himself," Mrs. Evans said gently.

Severus shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Their car was a five-seater and because he had to come, Petunia and her boyfriend wouldn't have fitted in the car.

"Oh," Lily said, with the smallest smile. She didn't look convinced but it was obvious she felt better. "I guess I'll see her soon."

"You will dear," Mrs. Evans said.

Lily's smile widened just the slightest and then looked out the window. Severus wished there was something he could do to make her happy but it was already a struggle just to talk around her.

Soon they arrived at the Evans' and Severus watched as Lily happily ran out of the car to find Petunia.

"Tuney!" Severus watched the most beautiful girl skip towards her house. He really wished he could make her happy. But he knew from years of experience that she _never_ skipped just to see him.

Severus grimly took out his luggage from the boot of the car (he managed to carry it fine, thank-you very much!) and then carried out Lily's two suitcases. Unfortunately, he could still see the scene from the corner of his eye.

Petunia stood stiffly as Lily wrapped her arms around Petunia's long neck. What was Petunia's problem? Who wouldn't want to be hugged from Lily? Perhaps she was intimidated by Lily's good looks but who can't help but be happy around Lily?

"How've you been?" Severus heard Lily gush enthusiastically.

"Fine," Petunia replied in a hard voice as she shrugged away from Lily's arms. Severus could tell by the way Lily's shoulders tensed that Lily was upset. "I really do have to keep Vernon company."

Severus could feel Lily's stunned silence although he was a fair metres away. Who could stand hurting Lily like that?

"I really should get back," Severus mumbled to the Evans' who were watching Lily apprehensively.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay, dear?" Mrs Evans asked, her eyes not leaving Lily's.

Of course Severus wanted to stay. He would stay with Lily forever if he had the chance. But that didn't mean he was needed. He doubted the Evans liked him _that _much; just acting out of their natural niceness.

"Yes," Severus mumbled. He hovered uncertainly. Should he say bye to Lily or leave her at peace at the moment?

Severus sighed and slowly walked over to Lily. As if _he _could just leave her like that.

"Lils," Severus whispered quietly as he tenderly placed a hand on her slightly trembling shoulders. "I'm going back."

Lily sharply turned around and looked at him with those large, wet, emerald eyes that made his heart ache.

"We hardly spend that much time together," she protested in a broken voice. "You'll come over, won't you?"

"Definitely," he promised, rubbing her arms softly.

He always visited every two days anyway. Lily never appeared to mind and Severus just loved her company. It really was a stupid question to ask. But then again, Lily never made any questions sound stupid.

Lily never visited him though. It was always two awkward with his parents around and although they tried to make Lily's life miserable, she never altered the love she had for his family. It was really not understandable. And no way would Severus let Lily suffer the torments his parents gave her.

"Okay, then," Lily said brightening up. "I'll see you…tomorrow?"

"Of course," Severus said, a smile emerging on his face. He always saw her in his figment of mind anyway. But she didn't know that.

"Looking forward to it," Lily grinned.

………………………………………….

"I'll go back to my place if you don't cheer up," Sirius threatened James, who was broodingly stalking up to his room.

"I don't care," James muttered.

He could his parents murmur anxiously about his behaviour at the foot of the stairs. He never came home wandering around like an Inferi.

"Sirius, what happened to him?" James heard his mother whisper nervously to his best friend.

"Broken hearted," Sirius replied naturally. He didn't even bother to lower his voice.

James clenched his fist, knuckles turning white, as he heard a surprised intake of breath from his mother.

"James was in a _relationship_?" she gasped.

This was seriously ridiculous. Were (some of) the most important people in his life going to discuss his life whilst pretending he wasn't in hearing range? Seriously ridiculous.

And he felt a slight pang in his heart as he heard his mother's gasp. Did she really perceive him to be incapable of being in a relationship? James had a strange feeling that his parents thought he only had one-night stands.

James whipped around at the top of the stairs. He saw a shocked look cross his parents' face and Sirius raise an eyebrow. According to Sirius, James had not showed any emotion since Christmas and Sirius wouldn't mind seeing a bit of anger from him just to know that James was still capable of having feelings.

Well he can have the anger now.

"Padfoot, _do you mind_?! And no, mother, I was _not_ in a relationship and I am _not _heartbroken. I just have a lot of things on my find. And Padfoot, you can go home for all I care. I don't need a babysitter let alone a gossiper!" James growled.

Sirius's face turned to stone.

"Fine," he hissed. "You are totally screwed up. You're not even _with _Evans and you act like she tore apart the marriage certificate that states how you two were married for decades. You're pathetic."

Sirius angrily stalked out of his house, slamming the front door in the process. For once, James didn't care.

His mother looked like she was about to faint.

"I'm okay," he grumbled, feeling slightly guilty that he was making his mother worried.

"You sure, son?" his father asked, concern lines appearing on his forehead.

"Yes," James answered through gritted teeth. Why was everyone asking whether he was okay or not?! The only person who _could_ make him better hadn't asked.

"Do you think Sirius will be okay?" his mother asked.

"Yes," James repeated. He suddenly felt really tired. It was as if everything was his fault. "He knows how to handle himself."

"If you need to talk…" his father trailed off, looking unsure of what to say next.

"Thanks," James said. No way did he want to talk about how he wasn't 'even with Evans' yet acted like they broke up from a marriage. "I have a headache. I'll be upstairs."

And he wasn't even lying. He felt like he had a headache that could even put Voldemort to pain.

…………………………………..

Lily flinched as she heard Petunia's shrill laughter in the bedroom next door. The laugh wasn't scary it was just…Lily couldn't even remember the last time _she _made her laugh. Lily couldn't believe a guy like Vernon could make her sister laugh.

Not that Vernon was a terrible guy or anything. Okay, so he was a bit on the pudgy side, had thinning hair and was unbelievable hairy but…if he could make Petunia laugh, he must be a decent fellow. Right?

Lily frowned as she wondered what Petunia could be laughing about. Guiltily, Lily pressed her ear against the wall to hear better. She wasn't being nosy; just curious.

"And she'll draw attention like a siren but not because of beauty," Lily heard Vernon snicker. "But because of the ugly, distinct colour of her hair."

Lily's heart sank as she heard Petunia roar with laughter. She had a sudden feeling that she knew who they were talking about. Lily closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, ignoring the tears behind her eyelids.

"I think the only reason why your parents let her go away is because she's so ugly. Like who would want an ugly face tainting such a pretty household? They have one beautiful daughter right here; it'll be such a shame if people knew that they had an extremely ugly daughter too."

Petunia giggled in her high voice and Vernon joined in with guffaws.

Lily pulled away unable to listen any longer. She could not hold back the tears as they trailed down her flaming cheeks. Not even her own sister loved her. Lily had always thought it was their differences that made Petunia cold but to hear the way she agreed with Vernon…

Lily sniffed and wiped her tears with a tissue. Could she ever find happiness again? She had lost Petunia and it wasn't even her fault. It wasn't her fault that she was a witch and Petunia wasn't. Lily had also lost James. James, who was so unbelievably important to her and she only realised when he was gone.

No more teasing. No more talking. No more flirtation. No more touches. No more laughs. No more presents.

No more anything. It felt like a hole deep in her heart.

But…perhaps James wasn't completely lost yet. He did tell her she could owl him. He hadn't completely shut her out of his life. In some way, he had more compassion in him than her sister.

Shakily, Lily started to write a letter to James. It took half an hour to come up with a decent sounding letter and an extra hour to ensure no tears dripped onto the parchment.

_James,_

_It's Lily. I think it'll be a good idea to work on the Valentine's Special. I have nothing to do…yes, I'm that boring. I doubt Severus would want to spend every day with me. And Petunia…she's preoccupied with her boyfriend, it's making me gag._

_I understand if you don't have the time or if you don't want to. If so, please owl me and I'll come up with the ideas by myself. Don't feel guilty. I SERIOUSLY have nothing better to do._

_However, if you are able to work on the Valentine's Special, there is a vacant room in my house. I could even show you how to use the computer (do you remember?)_

_Please reply as soon as possible._

_-Lily_

…………………………………

James's hand shook as he read the letter twice again. He already memorised all the words. That simple invitation and her sweet fragrance almost lifted him from the dark cloud he was under. Almost.

Did she have to mention Severus? Perhaps she was plotting a way with Severus to make fun of him and that was why he was needed there.

However, there seemed to be a sad tone in her letter. Almost forlorn. He was sure Lily was pure-hearted and wouldn't make fun of anyone.

_She did laugh at your presents_, a nasty voice snarled in his hand.

_Snivellus always twist things_, a desperate voice protested.

_How did he know all the presents?_ The nasty voice smirked.

_She was probably talking to Mindy about it and he overheard! _The desperate voice snapped.

_You're delusional, James, you're talking to yourself, _the nasty voice smirked.

"Shut up!" James hissed angrily simultaneously with the desperate voice. He really was delusional.

Hastily, he grabbed some ink and parchment to write before he lost his mind. It wasn't like Lily could hurt him more than she already had.

_Lily! Surprised to hear from you!_

_If I can save you from Severus and Petunia, I will gladly offer my aid. And of course I remember the computer. You need to show me that 'mouse'._

_I have nothing to do. I will not write 'I have nothing to do _either_' because I know you're lying. You're always doing _something. XD_ I can come any time you want and stay until you are sick of me._

_Cheers,  
James_

James quickly scanned over his letter. He sounded like his usual self but it didn't mean he _was_ his usual self. He was much better at not expression his true feelings.

It wasn't long until he received a letter from Lily after the one he sent.

_You can come as early as tomorrow. _

_Thanks :)_

Thanks? James snorted. He was doing this for himself. Sometimes he was a selfish person.

He scribbled a quick note back.

_Perfect._


	16. Saluting Forever

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Feedback to Reviews: **Sorry for the wait! I promise three weeks is the maximum. :) I've been really stressing lately (school, boys some lame guy likes me ' and losing something one of my Twilight books) and thought that if i updated, the chapter would be reflecting my dark mood. But everything's slowly getting better.

I prefer to escape to James's and Lily's world, anyway. XD

LOTS OF LOVE AND THANKS FOR REVIEWS! XD

**About this chapter:** I apologise for the sudden change of emotion between James and Lily. But I'm just sick of them fighting and want them to love each other. Don't you? ;

**Chapter Sixteen: Saluting Forever**

"_What_?!" Petunia screeched two minutes after the Dursleys' picked up Vernon. She glared at her entire family. "_What_ is coming to stay with us?"

Lily frowned and closely inspected her sister. She had always valued Petunia's opinions but after hearing what she and her boyfriend said, she was able to see clearly. Sometimes Petunia only cared about herself.

"James Potter is a who, not a what," Lily said calmly. "He is coming over tomorrow as we have a Valentine's Special to work on."

Petunia burst into hysterical laughter.

"_You lot_ can understand the concept of love? Don't even pretend to be _human_!" Petunia gasped between laughter.

Normally a comment like that would make Lily feel like the most unloved sister in the world. But strangely, Lily didn't feel anything. It was almost as if she was numb from all the comments Petunia could ever make. The way Petunia was laughing with Vernon had clearly changed Lily's thoughts.

"Petunia," Lily said trying to sound reasonable. There must've been something about her voice because Petunia stopped laughing and the way she was looking at Lily held a hint of fear. "We're not a completely different race from you. We can just use magic."

Petunia stood there gaping at her for a second before she composed herself.

"Well aren't you _special_," Petunia sneered.

Lily was surprised that she was able to smile.

"You might be the very first person who said I was special," Lily mused.

Petunia shot a bewildered look at her parents. The Evans just frowned back at her.

"Mum, dad!" she hissed. "Vernon is coming everyday and he can't be around…_them_!"

"Why not?" Lily asked politely before her parents could speak. "It's not like we can blow him into an elephant. Haven't I told you, Petunia? We can't use magic until we're seventeen."

Petunia flinched. She shot her the Evans a frantic look and ran back upstairs.

Lily frowned after her feeling a slight twinge of guilt. Did she say something wrong?

"Is Tuney upset with me?" Lily asked anxiously.

"Not at all, dear," Mrs Evans said at once. "I think…"

She broke off with a hesitation and glanced at her husband for help. Lily felt an unpleasant sentiment crawl up her stomach. Her mother never needed her father's assistance before.

"You've never spoken like that to Petunia before," Mr Evans explained.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, starting to panic. Did she turn into a witch? Oh yeah…she was _born_ one.

"You normally don't speak back to her," Mrs Evans said, trying to break it easily to her.

"I just…" Lily stammered, feeling a dread of regret. "Wanted to show…how what she was saying was…wrong."

"It's okay!" Mrs Evans said quickly. "Petunia can be out of line sometimes. I'm really pleased you stood up to your opinions."

"Thanks…" Lily said uncertainly. She didn't want to appear like a bully. "I should make the guest room ready. Thank-you so much for letting James come over! He's a real gentleman."

He's perfect.

Her parents beamed at her.

"You can invite _any_ of your friends over! Including Mindy. She hasn't called for awhile," Mr Evans said.

"She calls when she's bored," Lily lied. Mindy doesn't call most of the time because she fears she'll be speaking to Petunia. She wasn't scared of Petunia; she was scared of what _she_ would say to Petunia. They weren't nice thoughts.

"I see," Mr Evans said. "So is there anything we can get to make James feel at home?"

"Uh…" Lily said feeling a twinge of unsureness. Doesn't James live in a grand house anyway? Could she offer anything that will suit his normal needs? "I'm sure James will be fine."

Then again James is an unbelievably nice person and Lily doubted he would complain.

"If you change your mind, just tell us," Mrs Evans smiled genuinely.

"Of course," Lily promised.

Just a huge house with expensive furniture, no dust, rare ornaments, house elves and magic.

That's all she needed to make James feel welcome.

…………………………….

For an instant James had a sinking feeling that Lily gave him the wrong address. All he could see was a quite chubby male attempting to chase a girl with what appeared to be greying hair.

But when the girl turned her head, James almosy choked as he recognised the face. It was Lily's sister. He couldn't believe that Lily was cursed to have such an ugly sister. Seriously. Poor Lily.

"I believe this is it," James muttered quietly to his parents. They were forced to take a car because Muggles weren't used to other Wizarding ways of transport. Sigh.

James saw his parents quickly glance at each in worry.

"So…you're going to stay with Lily _Evans_ for…you don't know how long?" his father summarised.

James nodded and realised his father hadn't turned around to look at him.

"Yes," James said rather stiffly. He didn't want his parents interrogating him any longer. He was rather surprised that his parents allowed him to stay over in the first place.

At that moment Lily appeared in view as she walked gracefully over. James's heart automatically sped up at her close proximity.

"Good morning!" Lily greeted with a dazzling smile as she reached their car. James felt like a total Squib sitting in a car while being spoken to.

Although James could only see the back of his parents' head, he could feel the change of atmosphere. Lily's exquisite looks and her charisma seemed to rule out any doubts they had. They were working on him right now.

Lily's delicate eyebrows furrowed together just the slightest as no-one answered her. How rude was James's family? No wonder Lily called him rude sometimes. It must be the genes he inherited.

"Lily!" James forced a grin as he stepped out of his car. "We just weren't sure we were at the right place."

That was partly true. Sure, his family found the address but James wasn't sure that was where Lily resided. Like when he saw that hairy, pudgy fellow, James was sure that he was at the wrong place because he knew Lily didn't have a brother. But then he saw Lily's sister. Shudder.

"Oh," Lily said, her furrowed eyebrows deepening. "I should've made the directions clearer. I'm so sorry!"

"What?" James asked, baffled. Why was _she_ sorry? She never had to apologise for anything. "Your directions were fine. You live in a very nice area."

That was completely true. It was the people who made her living not as nice as it could be. He just couldn't believe Lily's sister was related to her!

"Thank-you," Lily said with a smile. She then crouched down so she could see James's parents who were still in the car. "Would you like to come in?"

James looked back to see his father shake his head.

"No, thank-you, dear," his father said smoothly. "We have to attend this meeting."

"Maybe another time?" his mother suggested.

"Sure," Lily beamed. "Have a good day."

Both his parents grinned at her, instantly looking ten years younger from the rear-vision James was looking into. James rolled his eyes as he took out his luggage. His parents automatically loved anyone who was polite, or anyone James liked. He thought he saw his mother wink at him before his father reversed the car out of the Evans's place.

"Would you like some help?" Lily offered as James tugged at two massive luggage.

Yes, unfortunately, James was a bit of a sad character and took different clothes that would last him for the rest of the holidays. Not that Lily would invite him to stay that long.

And, did it look like he was struggling although he had basically played Quidditch for half his life? How embarrassing.

"Nope, I'm fine," James said, shooting her a quick grin. Lily gave a small smile in return.

"Thanks for coming over," she mumbled, appearing to blush the slightest. "I…I was acting out of selfishness and I know you're the sort of person who would never disappoint. I just wish that you…"

Lily trailed off and then glanced at him with large, horrified eyes.

"Oh, James! I'm embarrassing myself! I can't believe I said that! Just…pretend I didn't say anything!"

"Lily," James said, slightly shocked. He dropped his luggage and placed his hands over her slightly trembling shoulders. "You could _never_ embarrass yourself no matter what you did. How on _earth_ are you acting out of selfishness? You're doing what you must to keep Dumbledore happy and that's _sacrifice_. Perhaps _I'm_ the one acting out of selfishness for coming over because I wanted to see you."

He shot her his most dazzling smile in at the end. All that anger and grief inside of him seemed to vanish as soon as he saw her. It didn't matter if she didn't feel the same way as him; he might as well try to make her as happy as possible. Because Lily being sad would cause him more sorrow that anything else. Including her rejecting him. It's wasn't like she hadn't rejected him before (seven years long), so what could another rejection mean? He always anticipated she would reject him, even though he wished she wouldn't.

And who cares if she and Snape laughed at the presents he gave her? He was lucky enough that Lily _talked_ to him. James felt a twinge of guilt as he recalled the Christmas present he gave Lily. How immature. Snape and Lily were probably laughing at how he was too poor to buy a present. Stupid.

"Really?" Lily whispered. Her eyes appeared to be moistening and it dragged him out of his thoughts. Why must Lily cry? She should never cry. "You want to see me?"

Always. Forever and ever.

"Of course," James said giving her shoulders a little squeeze.

There was some hesitation in her eyes as if she wanted to ask something else but she didn't say anything further.

"Come here," James murmured and pulled Lily into a rare hug.

He just wanted to make her feel better even if he might benefit a hug more than she was. So what if Lily didn't care about him? He cared about her. And if Lily finds happiness (without him? meltdown), he'll be okay. Because Lily would be happy.

He'll be okay. Really. He would. It's just that when James looked at Lily today, he realised he loved her.

…………………………

_The Christmas incident might as well never happened_, Lily thought as she pulled James closer and inhaled his scent.

When James exited the car, he looked like his usual self. His hazel eyes were no longer cold but full of welcome. As if he was the one who had to make _her_ feel welcome.

Lily's heart skipped a beat (if not, a few more) as she felt James lightly stroke her hair. She was actually starting to feel dizzy and wouldn't be sure if she was standing straight if James wasn't holding her. Did she really dream up what happened at Christmas?

Lily jumped (feeling James's arms tighten around her delightfully) as Petunia ran into the scene, giggling madly.

Her giggles abruptly stopped when she sighted Lily in James' arms. Jealousy? Who didn't want to be held by James?

Lily's cheeks flamed red at the ghastly expression that flashed on her sister's face. Reluctantly Lily pulled away from James's strong embrace. She wasn't prepared for the coldness that hit her after the lack of warmth from James's arms.

"Petunia," Lily started, her voice shaking slightly. She wasn't sure why. It was perhaps the James after-effects. "This is James. James, Petunia."

A warm smile spread across James's face, making him appear handsomer if possible. Strangely, Petunia didn't appear to be affected as her face was turning an ugly pale colour.

"Hello, nice to meet you," James greeted in a husky voice. It wasn't that Petunia was a horrible person that would make her appear mean, it was just the unwelcomely aura that was emitting off her. Some part of Lily felt annoyed that her sister wasn't treating her guest with respect.

"Petty, dear?" Normally Petunia's face would break out into a grin when Vernon called out her name but she still appeared as a statue.

This was something new to Vernon too as he was used to her jumping into his arms. He quickly (which was a disturbing sight as someone like Vernon was not made for running) rushed to Petunia's side and placed an arm around her.

"Petty? What's wrong?" Vernon asked in what Lily presumed to be a soothing voice.

He then noticed James, who was standing as still as a statue as well, and glowered at him. If Vernon had not been a guest at the Evans, Lily was sure she'll snap at him.

"Can you please not look at beautiful people like that," Vernon hissed as he pulled Petunia closer to him. Speckles of spit (making Lily cringe) flew into the area between James and Vernon. It was a weird contrast to see Vernon and Petunia together as Petunia was as skinny as a pole, whereas, Vernon looked like an inflated balloon.

"Sorry," James murmured sincerely, locking his hazel eyes with Lily. The dizziness was coming back again.

"I wasn't talking about _her_," Vernon snapped impatiently. "Apologise to Petunia! You're eyeing her as if you're about to attack her and _it's not her fault she's beautiful_! You should be disgraced with whatever you did that put Petunia in a shock. Come now, Petty, don't need to be afraid."

Without another death glare in James's direction, the two headed towards the house.

At the moment, Lily wished she could just Apparate to another location. Sure, it wasn't like Vernon was related to her (yet, she feared) but letting someone speak like that to James without interfering?? It was a disgrace! If only Vernon was not a guest!

"I'm sorry," James whispered as he softly tucked a strand behind Lily's ears.

"What?" Lily breathed incredulously. She was also sort of out of breath with James's fingers brushing her cheek. She had no idea what he was apologising for. _She_ should be the one apologising on bended knees. "You have nothing to apologise for!"

James smiled sheepishly.

"You still had to see that," he shrugged. "I see what you mean about Petunia and her boyfriend."

Lily grimaced. It was really selfish of her to bring him to share her agony as well.

"I would understand if you want to leave," she whispered although the thought was more agonising. What if this time James left and never came back?

"Lily," James sighed, shaking his head with a small smile on his face. "Why would I leave?"

"Why not?" she challenged.

"You're here," James explained.

Lily was struggling to look at him straight in the eye. She never really noticed how good-looking he was. Or how nice. Or sweet. Or funny. Or caring. Or athletic. Or every other good adjective there was.

Or how much she loved him. It was so obvious now. That she really, really loved him. Seeing him today just confirmed it. She probably loved him the first time they met on the Hogwarts train seven years ago. All she could think or was him and what to say to him. It never occurred to her it would be because she needed his presence around and when he wasn't around, she still _needed_ him around. There was something about him that brought along happiness that only he could bring.

"Always and always," Lily whispered back before she could stop herself.

Oh, Merlin! She just said what she was thinking _again_. It was a real wonder why James didn't think she was an oddity. He probably did. She wished she could bury her face in his shoulder again, but how often can she hug James Potter?

"Ditto," James said his face breaking out with a grin. He looked so much like his usual self again that all Lily wanted to do was laugh and cry but a shadow suddenly fell across his eyes.

"Sniv – Severus is here," he muttered, taking a step back so the two weren't as close.

Lily looked over and sure enough Severus walking over with a sour expression.

Part of her felt torn. Here were the two guys she loved most (outside of her family because she loved her dad) yet it was different type of love. One of friendship, one of…passionate love?

Yet for some reason James and Severus only had one mutual feeling towards each other, the opposite of the feeling she had for the two of them: hate. She'd never understand it.

Lily suppressed a sigh. It was going to be a long day.


	17. One and One

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**MASSIVE APOLOGY:** I'm really sorry for how long it's taking me to post a chapter. I had a really bad virus on my computer and it deleted all my files (sob) and after that, I was too depressed to continue. BUT I'm over that phase now and will still continue. However, I'm in my final year of schooling and am quite overwhelmed with all the work so I won't be posting for a very long time. I'm sorry if this upsets anyone :( I write when I have free time or, like at the moment, when I need to escape into a better world :)

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED AND IS STILL AROUND!

**Chapter Seventeen:: One and One**

At that moment, Severus Snape wanted to strangle the skinny neck of James Potter. That was rather surprising as he wasn't really a physically violent character. Not after his father…no, that was _not_ what he should be thinking about at the moment.

But this guy who called himself a wizard was the most annoying thing Severus had ever met in his whole life. Currently he was _lifting_ his luggage instead of pulling it like a normal person so that his muscles flexed under his T-shirt. Could he not afford those luggage with the extendable pull? Not to mention that annoying giggle-snort-like sound Potter made every time Lily talked. It wasn't like what Lily was saying was actually funny or something.

Severus clenched his fists as he wondered for the hundredth time in the last few minutes why James Potter was here. Right next to his home. The only place where Severus thought he could escape the 'fabulous life of James Potter' only to find him being cherished by the love of his life.

What on earth was happening in this world??

Severus plunged deeper into his thoughts as he wondered why Lily could possibly invite him over. Severus cringed as he realised Potter could only be here if Lily invited him as she didn't seem surprised to see him arrive like a Muggle in a car. Why would Lily want him here??

And for how long? Severus wanted to ask but then again he might look like a jealous love-sick boy who wanted to have his girl all to himself. He was a love-sick boy madly gone for Lily but they didn't have to know that.

Severus had a brief thought about inviting Potter to _his_ place (because James Potter is too much of a _gentleman_ to say no) so he could endure his parents' torture. But as quickly as he thought that, Severus realised that would give Potter more to poke out of him once he saw the conditions he lived in.

Such was life.

"So, Severus," Potter said casually and breaking Severus out of his murderous thoughts. The three of them were making their way over to Lily's house and to Severus, it seemed to take awhile because Potter had decided to carry his luggage. Too bad they weren't seventeen so could use magic. "What exactly are you doing here? Wanted to escape that paradise you call home?"

Severus forced his mind not to conjure up a non-verbal spell because: 1) doing this in front of Lily would just appear stupid and 2) James had somehow managed to learn the counter-spell.

There was just no way Potter would know what his parents were like. Only Lily knew and Severus was sure she had not told anyone. She had a pure heart.

Unlike James, how must presume the worst of him.

"Well," Severus spoke smoothly, trying to drag out the suspense for Potter. He wasn't sure whether James really cared or whether he was just trying to impress Lily by talking to him. "Lily and I always spend a lot of time together during the break."

Severus had the satisfaction of seeing Potter's face twist into confusion and…jealousy, yep, that look was definitely jealousy. Severus decided to press further.

"You don't mind if I come over every day, do you, Lils?" Severus asked adding a light tone of worry.

"Of course not," Lily assured and she smiled up at him. The smile stole his breath; he could never tire of Lily's beauty.

When Potter stole a glance at Severus from the corner of his eyes, Severus shot him a smug look.

"How long are you staying here, James?" Severus asked. Unfortunately, he couldn't hide the sneer in his voice; it was hard talking to someone who was so pig-headed.

There was a slight pause and it appeared that Lily stiffened slightly. Was this a good or bad sign?

"As long as it takes," Potter muttered. He let his luggage drop on the ground with a loud thud and stretched his arms.

Severus was secretly pleased. He had somehow gotten to the topic of James's stay without trying. Potter also looked slightly frustrated.

"For?" Severus asked politely. It still sounded like a sneer.

"The Valentine Special," Potter replied curtly. He levelled Severus's amused gaze and picked up his luggage again. He walked ahead leaving a baffled Lily with Severus.

"The what?" Severus asked the pretty auburn-haired girl. His voice had suddenly turned pleasant.

"Valentine Special," Lily repeated, her eyes fixed worriedly on Potter's back. Of course she would be worried; she wanted to be a perfect host and Potter was acting like an emotionless slimeball. Severus smiled at Potter's joke reflected back onto him.

"I don't understand," Severus explained honestly. Honestly, he was just glad to be alone with Lily at the moment while Potter walked off in a sulk without a good explanation. The two started to walk after him but they were a few steps behind the 'star Quidditch player'. "Isn't that some sort of Muggle celebration?"

"Yeah," Lily nodded. "You know how Dumbledore loves Muggle things. He decided that, as Heads, James and I should come up with ideas to do on that day."

As it dawned to Severus, he couldn't help but burst into laughter. James Potter!! Lily must've invited him over so the two could come up with ideas but _James_ _Potter_?? As if _he_ could come up with any ideas! Hadn't he been trying to woo Lily over for the last seven years and gotten nothing? Well…he might be _friends_ with Lily now but that was all he achieved as a romantic. How could he possibly help? That crackpot had seriously lost his mind.

"What's so funny?" Lily asked, confused, but she had a gentle smile on her face. Severus was briefly aware that Potter had stopped and turned back to look.

"Nothing," Severus lied. He'll tell Potter later when Lily wasn't in earshot. He didn't want to have a fight with her over that four-eyed monster once again. "I'm just imagining those who are less-talented having spells backfiring on them."

Severus could see that too. A love potion given to the wrong person and therefore having a lonely temporarily love-struck witch following him. Shudder.

"Yeah," Lily said with a grin. Potter had resumed walking towards the house. Severus grinned back and the two started to walk once again after Severus had doubled-over in stitched.

His grin did not leave his face. Perhaps he could get rid of Potter quicker than he had originally thought and have Lily to himself once again. As it should be.

…………………………………

Petunia sighed.

"What's wrong, dear?" Vernon asked immediately. He quickly moved across her bedroom to sit next to her on the bed.

She smiled at her caring boyfriend and patted his knee.

"Nothing," she assured.

It was just that sometimes she disliked having such warm, embracing parents. Couldn't they see that James Potter was even more of a freak than their own daughter?

It was a pity really because if he wasn't a wizard, Petunia wouldn't mind dating someone like him. Simply delicious-looking. But unfortunately, he was a freak with a big F.

And not only because of his defective genes that turned him into a freak but also because of the way he behaved. Yes, Petunia had observed him at lunch and she was sure he was besotted with Lily. Exactly like Snape. Most of the time, the two were going out of their way to get her attention. Not to mention how that Potter boy wasn't putting much of a fight to entice her sister; what kind of coward was that? Occasionally, they'd be snide comments between the two but as soon as Lily looked uncomfortable, they would stop.

Petunia wondered whether Lily knew that those two boys, who were trailing after her like lost puppies, were deeply in love with her…No, that wasn't possible because she wasn't encouraging either of the infatuated boys and she was treating them like friends; good friends she cared about. Petunia knew, because that was the way she used to treat _her_ until a few days ago when she lashed out because Petunia opposed to having Potter over.

How could Lily do this to her? Petunia felt an unusual pang of hurt as she thought about her sister. They used to be close; inseparable sisters. Petunia had even tolerated Snape before she knew what he was. It just got worse when Lily received that letter. Every year when Lily came back, she was less like the girl before she left.

How could Lily choose that sort of world over her own sister?

Well the consequences are having two boys fall in love with you, Petunia thought with a smirk. And when she chooses the other – or better, not choose either one of them – one will be in pain.

Petunia was surprised she had a perfect idea to speed up the process that she found herself squeezing Vernon's hand too hard.

"Sorry, sorry!" she exclaimed when she realised. Vernon, that perfect gentleman, shook his head explaining how it didn't hurt but Petunia could see how his skin had turned blotchy pink. She, of course, felt immensely guilty.

She showed her sincere apologises by having a long kiss with him but she couldn't stay too long because her idea was making her impatient. But then again, she could kiss Vernon forever. Mmm…

After explaining how she had a plan to make Lily suffer excruciatingly, Vernon gladly let her do her dirty deed.

Petunia found herself skipping towards Lily; she decided that meant she was extremely proud of herself if she was skipping. She found her sister sitting on a table with the two boys. They appeared to be sitting in awkwardness. Petunia snickered to herself; was she the only one who knew why?

"Lily!" Petunia chirped. It might've been her imagination but Potter and Snape seemed to flinch. Perhaps she was talking too loud. She watched as Lily slowly turned around and looked at her with wide eyes.

"Yes?" she asked faintly. It was true that Petunia hardly addressed Lily; especially with so much enthusiasm.

"Can I speak to you privately?" Petunia asked, widening her eyes in the way she knew Lily couldn't say no. She knew she was correct when she saw Lily's lips pressed in a firm line.

"Sure," Lily said getting up from the chair. She turned back to the boys and Petunia watched amused as her gaze lingered longer on Potter's. Interesting…"I'll be back."

Petunia grinned at the bewildered expression on her face and looped her arm around Lily's. It'd been awhile since they walked like this.

When they wear out of earshot, Petunia let out an exaggerated sigh. She knew she was great at acting.

"What?" Lily asked. She sound slightly tired…or maybe it was impatient.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"What?" This time it was impatient.

"That James Potter _and_ Severus Snape are so in love with you!"

Petunia watched gleefully as Lily's eyes widened and then a look of betrayal and disgust replaced it.

"That's not funny, Petunia," she said stiffly.

"I'm not trying to be funny," Petunia pointed out. "Why do you think they keep bickering with one another? They view the other as _competition_. The only reason why they stop at times is because they don't want to hurt their heart's affection: you. Jeez, Lily, I thought you were smart! I guess you have to break one of their heart's…"

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, looking frightened. That was one expression Petunia had never seen on her sister. Apparently, there _used _to be nothing wrong in the life of Lily Evans so there was no reason to be afraid.

Petunia sighed dramatically.

"If you choose Potter, you'll break Snape's heart and vice versa. Or you could choose some other guy to ease the pain. At least then they'll know it wasn't because they lost you to the other. Oh, Lily, it must be really hard…"

Petunia's insides squirmed with delight as she saw a pain-stricken expression pass Lily's face.

"They…don't think of me…that way," Lily said weakly.

"Deep inside, you know they do," Petunia replied. She believed what she said. In some ways, Lily was a lot like their parents. Selfless thoughts so they'll never admit to oneself that their friends were secretly in love with them…

"I just thought you should know," Petunia added when Lily was too speechless to reply. "So if you have any problems, you can turn to me because I've been in that position before. You know, when there's been too many guys chasing me and I had to choose which one to hurt, which one to be out of my life…forever. I'm your sister Lily, I'm always here."

Petunia felt another painful stab when Lily's eyes filled with tears and she gently placed a smooth hand on her cheek. Petunia willed herself not to flinch away; if she did, Lily wouldn't trust her words.

"Thanks, Tuney," Lily whispered. "I'm always here for you too."

_Freak! Freak! Freak! Freak!_

Petunia had to chant the mantra 'freak' to remind herself that Lily was no longer her sister ever since she accepted that letter. She wasn't going to be weak now.

Petunia smiled and pulled Lily into a hug. She hoped that Lily couldn't tell how stiff she was.

"Thanks," Petunia winked, quickly releasing her. Lily appeared too touched to notice how her touch repelled her.

"Oh, by the way, _where_ is James Potter sleeping?" Petunia asked innocently. "In our four-bedroom house, the rooms are already taken. You know, our parents, my room, your room and the guest room. Vernon has decided to sleep over. I don't think the guest room can fit two single beds…Hmm…I'm pretty sure I'm worrying over nothing, I just want you to be happy! I'm sure you've worked it out beforehand. Anyway, I still have some stuff to do with Vernon and I'm sure you don't want to keep Potter and Snape waiting. I'll see you later, Lily!"

Petunia was shocked that she almost added 'I love you' at the end. It was what the two used to say to each other when they were little. Silly! She had forgotten how far she'd come.

Petunia erased her last thought as she noticed Lily's expression: panic and pain. No, Petunia had come _a very long_ way to be able to conjure up something like this.

Petunia smirked and walked away, leaving Lily to fix the problem she'd always had but never realised until her own sister told her.

This must be love of some sort…


	18. A Portal to Communication

**Title: **Behind These Words

**Author: **Tiffany

**Summary: **It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine!

**Note:** Please enjoy; hopefully the time it has taken me to rest has improved my English skills. Lol (:

**Chapter Eighteen:: A Portal to Communication**

James Potter regarded the word _hate_ a very, very strong emotion. So therefore he would never claim to _hate_ something (or someone) as he liked to be an honest young man. He would simply choose to regard the item of displeasure as a _strong dislike._

But at that instant, James Potter was almost sure he hated Petunia Evans. It was rather strange since he hadn't spent adequate time to know her true character but from the little he had observed and what Lily had described, he couldn't imagine _not_ hating her.

Because it seemed that every time Lily talked about her, Lily would become miserable. And if Lily talked _to _her, Lily would become agitated (at herself, _not_ at Petunia). But this time when Lily returned from a 'pleasant' talk with Petunia, she looked faint.

How could Petunia even do things to make Lily not feel the least bit well?

"Are you okay?" James asked, concern colouring his tone as Lily hesitantly took a seat at the table.

Lily's eyes met his briefly but she quickly averted them before he could read the emotion in her green gems. His heart panged as he worried what was causing her distress.

It almost always led back to Petunia Evans.

"Fine," Lily replied, a tone slightly too high.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" the slimeball asked from her other side.

"I'm fine, honestly," Lily declared weakly and James could tell the smile on her face was forced.

James was also an honourable man so if Lily chose not to tell him, he would not press the matter further. Although if Lily asked him to rid herself from what was annoying her, he would not hesitate either.

"Um...Lily, did you still want to show me the computer?" James asked politely, trying to think of any topic that would make Lily focus on something else.

Snape snickered into his gnarly hands. James quickly shot him a dirty look before smiling encouragingly at the pretty auburn.

"Yeah, of course!" Lily agreed, immediately brightening up. "It's...uh...well Tuney and I each have a computer and they're in our rooms. So I'll just take you to mine."

She smiled at the end, but James noticed how her face was slightly pinker than usual.

"That's fine," James assured, while Snape seemed to be growing sourer each second. Seeing that response made James more satisfied.

"Here it is," Lily pointed out when they arrived in her room.

It was obviously the first time he had been in her room (as the Evans' had politely told him to leave the luggage in the family room) and he needed another moment just to..._savour_ the Lilyness in the room.

It was a normal-sized room with lilac-coloured walls and it was kept simple and neat. There was a Queen-sized bed with blue covers and a few teddy bears propped against the pillows. A small table was on the side with the 'computer' but around the computer were photos of Lily and her friends. Muggle photos and the normal ones from the wizarding world.

"Oh!" Lily suddenly gasped as she saw how he was looking at the bears on the bed. "I guess I'm still pretty immature."

Her skin was flushed and she laughed edgily, trying to hide her embarrassment. It was only because James knew her so well that he could sense her embarrassment; Lily can be a pretty good actress when she wanted to be.

"More mature than me," James grinned, elbowing her playfully. That was also a fact but the main reason he said that was because he wanted to ease her discomfort.

But what made James the happiest was that one of the teddy bears was one that he gave her for Christmas. He stared pointedly at Snape (Lily was explaining something complicated about computers that he did not understand) and he watched as Snape turned an ugly colour of puce.

That's when something dawned to James and he felt as though he was plunged into ice-cold water. What if Snape was _lying_? It did sound as though Snape spent a fair bit of time with Lily (unexplainable, really) so it was natural that Snape would find out what presents James gave her. Which also meant that it was possible that Lily _did_ like James' present. Actually, most likely, since it was sitting on her bed.

_She could just put it there to make you feel better_, that ignoring challenging voice pointed out in his head.

But James was good at reading people and he knew that wouldn't be the case. Lily looked embarrassed at being caught displaying those bears/

But the most important thing James learnt from this was that he was a total _tool_. Again. He let his stupid impulsive feelings rule what he normally felt and gave her...well, nothing that would be worth a present. Oh, man. He really had to fix things up.

"So as you can see, a _mouse_ is quite essential to a computer," Lily concluded as James tuned in to the present. That didn't mean he _actually_ knew what a mouse was.

"I see," James said with a gentle smile.

Inside, he was thinking of ways to fix this disaster Christmas he created. He definitely needed to get those glasses and wear them so Lily would know he was happy. But he was not yet seventeen so all his fortune was tied to his parents. How was he supposed to convince them? Nevertheless, the most important thing was, what to get Lily?

"Do you want to try?" Lily asked, her eyes shining with delight.

"Er..." James said uncertainly. He didn't want to refuse her but he didn't know _what_ to do. But when Snape snickered, James knew the answer. "Sure."

Lily's smile widened and she vacated the chair for him. Not remembering a time where he actually felt stressed, he awkwardly sat down in the chair. His mind blanked when he saw a screen that _looked_ like a picture but could change. Dragging his eyes off the screen, he looked down to see...a dashboard full of characters and a strange thing on the right.

"Use the mouse to move the cursor," Lily explained.

The mouse? What was that damn thing and what on this world was a cursor?

"How?" James asked, trying to look uncertain. That wasn't hard because he wasn't sure at all. But could he do so without letting on that he hadn't listened to a thing she said?

"Like how I did before!" Lily said, laughing lightly. It had been awhile since he saw her eyes shining like. The last time was probably that kiss…no, he can not let his mind wander to that. "Here."

She leaned down so that she was only a hand-span away. Taking the small thing on the right, she used her hand to make funny, gentle motions. Was the thing she touching the mouse?

"See," she murmured, making it harder for James to concentrate. Since she was so close, her intoxicating smell was overwhelming him and the long mass of auburn hair was practically taunting him to touch her. "See how the cursor is moving."

Swallowing deeply, James dragged his eyes off the beauty next to him and looked at the screen. The white arrow was moving across the screen, and being the smart wizard he was, James assumed it was due to the mouse.

"That seems like magic," he finally commented. Humans, who had to rely on science and their brain rather than their inheritance, had come up with something as extraordinary as a computer.

Lily's warm laugh caressed his heart. He had forgotten when the last time she had laughed was and the sound was still like music to his ears.

"It seems insignificant when we live in the real _magic_ world," Lily replied, a smile in her voice. "After all, we could just conjure up a spell and blow this poor computer up."

"And then conjure up another spell to repair it," James grinned back. Lily laughed once again and this time James found himself laughing along.

"Oh," Lily said breaking from her laugh and a small crease appearing between her eyebrows. James laughter evaporated and he wondered what changed her mood.

Lily seemed to turn a shade pinker and looked at Snape delicately. How anyone could even stand looking at him still made James wonder. He tried not to roll his eyes.

"Did you want to try and use the computer, Sev?" she asked politely.

James knew he was a lot of things and intelligent was one of them. Previously, he had assumed all Muggles would have a computer; as if a computer was as essential to a Muggle as a wand was to a Wizard. But the way Snape seemed to turn rigid implied that Snape himself did not have a computer and probably had always wanted to 'try' one but didn't want to today because James was here.

And James would always make fun of Snape (it was something he must've inherited from his genes) and James would guffaw at how Snape did not have enough money to buy a computer. After all, computers can't be _that_ expensive, can they?

"I'll pass," Snape replied stiffly. His dark eyes were glued to the wall and his white hands were curled into fists, making the knuckles appear whiter.

"Um...okay," Lily said looking rather awkward. "Remember, whenever you want to use the computer to email someone or just to research, let me know."

Lily's beam faltered when Snape just looked back coolly. What was that slimeball's problem?

"Can _I _use it whenever?" James teased, trying to ease Lily's tension.

"Of course," Lily replied with a smile. A genuine one too; not like those fake polite smiles he usually see her give. "But...er...you kind of live far away."

James frowned. He did but magic transportation only took about a minute. But thinking of how he could just pop up randomly at the Evans' fireplace didn't seem like a great idea.

"What if I buy one of those computers?" James asked after a thought. "Could I...uh...talk to you through one back at my house?"

He remembered her talking about 'email' once and he never really understood; apparently it was like letters but quicker. James definitely needed to reduce the time it took for the two of them to communicate.

"Definitely!" Lily nodded enthusiastically. "We don't even have to email; we could just IM each other!"

James had no idea what she just said but beamed back at her, agreeing with her enthusiasm.

"You'll have lots to teach me," James commented after she finished chirping away at something with excited eyes. He caught the word 'internet', 'microphones' and 'web cams' a lot. It sounded like spells to him.

"It wouldn't be a first," Lily said lightly but James was sure there was something behind the innocence of her smile. Almost as if she was being playful...maybe even flirtatious.

James mentally scowled at himself. Lily? Flirtatious? Get real!

"I should probably go," Snape muttered from the corned he stood awkwardly in. James didn't even remember whether he had moved. Snape just seemed to appear in the shadows.

"Already?" Lily asked and James could hear the sadness in her voice. Lily would miss Snape? It must be those computers.

Snape seemed to hear the longing in her voice too and when Lily turned back to the computer when it made a strange sound (James _so_ did not jump!), Snape seized the opportunity to look smug at James' direction. James glowered back. After all, _James_ was the one who gets to spend 24/7 with her.

"Yeah, it's getting late." It might've been James imagination but he thought Snape's voice got a bit dark at the end. As if he was covering up the real reason why he had to go.

"I guess so," Lily agreed looking out the window, where the sun seemed to be setting. "I'll see you soon."

Snape smiled and James swore it was the scariest thing he had ever seen. Severus. Snape. Smiling. It was like a corpse baring its teeth and the way the muscles were pulled on his face made it look like his thin skin was stretched against the bone.

James shuddered and looked away. He felt like gagging.

"Of course," Snape murmured.

James' eyes were focused on the floor but that didn't mean he couldn't hear Snape even if he couldn't _see_ him anymore. James only looked up again when he heard the door close.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked, peering at James with concern. The stare made James uncomfortable. Not in the way as if someone was invading his privacy, but in the way as if she made him have difficulties breathing.

"Yes," James answered with a smile. He tried not to think of Snape's smile (it was a smile...right?) or else he himself would never smile again.

"Well," Lily said and she had the same playful (_not flirtatious_, James growled at himself) tone in her voice. "We have all night to make you feel better."

James gaped – realised what he'd done – and composed himself a second too late. Lily had saw his expression and burst into laughter. Normally, James seethed when someone laughed at him, but how could anyone be angry when Lily laughed like that?

"Come on," Lily said, a laugh still dancing in her face. She reached over and grabbed his hand. Without a thought, he gave it a squeeze. It was involuntary (as it was unexpected, but he wasn't complaining). "Let me show you what else Muggles have created."

"More magic?" James asked, trying to mask the scratchiness in his voice. Lily's hand in his hand had made his heart pump a whole lot faster and her closeness brought back her intoxicating scent.

Lily paused at the door and looked up at him with those sparkling gems.

"Always magic."


	19. Fun Without Games

**Title:** Behind These Words

**Author:** Tiffany

**Summary:** It's the final year for Lily Evans and James Potter. They must survive the pressure of school work, the quarrels with friends, but now as Head Boy and Girl…each other.

**Disclaimer:** Nothing is mine!

**Note:** I'm sorry it took me so long to update, I just seem to run out of time so easily. Hopefully, I make it up in this chapter and this story is nearing its end. Perhaps another five more chapters? ):

**Chapter Nineteen:: Fun Without Games**

Lily couldn't help glancing at the clock every few seconds and this was the reason why: Each minute that passed brought them closer to a sleeping time. James' luggage was still in the living room as Lily had no idea where he would sleep. It would be completely unacceptable if he slept on the couch but could she tolerate it if he slept within the same room? Why did Vernon have to have another sleep over? Couldn't he sleep with Petunia since those two have been dating for only Merlin knows how long?

"Lily..." James said hesitantly from opposite her. "It's your turn."

Lily looked up from the Monopoly board and to meet a concerned expression in his beautiful hazel eyes.

After a fulfilling dinner prepared by her mother (her mother was an unbelievably incredible cook and there was no magic involved in that), Lily decided to show James more of the Muggle world. After showing him the television, the microwave and any other appliance that ran on electricity, she decided to show him Muggle games.

"I'm just thinking hard on how to outwit you in this game," Lily replied with a lazy grin. She had to admit she wasn't entirely sure whether she was being flirtatious but who could help themselves around James Potter?

She was certain he felt the same way except Christmas was still hanging like a dark cloud above her head. If he liked her present, wouldn't he wear them? Or at least, thank her? And then again, he didn't buy her anything like he did previous years.

As she rolled the die, she wondered whether she should confront him. But would her heart be able to take his honesty? So much for being Sorted into Gryffindor if she was a basic coward in front of the bravest Gryffindor of them all.

"Lily," James repeated, this time his voice firmer. "Tell me what's troubling you. If it's my presence, I can leave. I'll be more than happy to do this Valentine Special by myself."

Lily stopped moving the shoe (her counter for Monopoly) around the board and looked up at him shocked.

"It's not that," she whispered and she closed her eye tightly. Before seeing that the clock depicted quarter past ten. She was on the verge of being vulnerable in his presence once again.

Although she didn't open his eyes, she felt him scoot over so he was on her right. It might've been her imagination but she could've sworn that she heard him emit a hesitant sigh before taking her hand gently in his own.

"Tell me," he said once again but this time his voice was gentle. He squeezed her fingers in encouragement.

Lily opened her eyes and stared at the board. She couldn't look at him because he was just _so_ close. Why was it that she was powerless against him? Here she was, about to confess her fear simply because he asked her to.

"We're friends, aren't we?" she whispered.

"Of course," James replied, tightening his grip on her hand. Lily felt a stab of pain, but it wasn't from her hand but her heart.

"I just feel...as though you're forcing yourself to be here. I just realised that. I mean...you were so...distant at Christmas."

Lily gulped and looked down, very aware of his tightening grip. She wasn't sure whether she wanted to hear his answer; whether she wanted an explanation. She just wanted...him. The way he was, the way they were. She didn't want him to be here because he had to meet some Head Boy duty.

"Lily," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. That'll be a first; James Potter guilty for breaking a heart. "Look at me."

When she didn't comply, he reached with his other hand to place his fingers under her chin and lightly tugging her face in his direction.

_Oh mighty_. He was barely a breath away and all Lily wanted to do was kiss him. She reminded herself that his next words probably would make her want to kick him instead but her heart wasn't agreeing. She had a sinking feeling that she'd kiss him no matter what he said.

"I am so, so sorry for the way I acted. That wasn't because of you; it never is because of you. The thing is, I wanted to give you an emerald necklace that has been in my family for generations but my mother wouldn't allow it. It made me angry and I'm sorry for taking that out for you. I feel utterly stupid for not getting you something else but I almost always get my way and was certain my mother would give it to me. When Christmas arrived, I had nothing but the Muggle card. I wanted to give something non-wizardry to show you how it's not just magic that brings us together."

Lily had never been a crier but James just had this effect on her. Her eyes were already welling with tears and she feared to blink in case it caught on her lashes. She wasn't sure whether he was telling the truth but his eyes were sincere and begging for forgiveness.

"James, I probably couldn't accept that anyway," she said, her voice slightly croaky.

"You weren't supposed to know of the history of the gem when I gave it to you."

There was a smile on his perfect lips but his eyes were holding that intense _passion_ that made her insides twist unexpectedly.

"James..." She couldn't stop saying his name...drinking him in. He had to know the effect he had on her.

He didn't say anything but the intensity in his gaze increased. With one hand, he entwined their fingers and the other still on her chin was pulling her closer.

Lily let him take control, let him be the one to initiate the kiss. All Lily wanted to do was hold him and have him crush upon her but she didn't want to come across too eager. Even if her breaths coming out almost like pants already exposed her.

When his soft lips touched hers, Lily thought she had entered heaven. It was bliss, happiness and all that was in her central focus was James Potter. It had always been him, ever since she first saw him.

The kiss heightened into something deeper, moving from gentleness to undeniable passion. It was no longer guarded and careful but exploding and fevering. Lily was not surprised she was responding with equal passion.

James left her mouth, which allowed her to breathe, until he trailed fiery kisses down her neck that no longer helped her breathing.

"James," Lily murmured, tugging lightly at his soft, soft hair. She was embarrassed she couldn't hide the tremor from her voice.

James looked up from her neck, hesitation and lust swarming through his features. Somehow they were no longer sitting but lying horizontally...

"Someone might come in," she explained and blushed at the situation they were in. She was very aware of James watching the redness creep from her neck up onto her cheeks.

"Not like our common room, eh?" James teased but his eyes were still full of longing. _That _was not going to help their situation.

"Nope," Lily replied breathlessly. Did he still have to remain so close? All she wanted was him lips back upon hers.

Almost as if he could hear her thought, James pulled back and Lily was met with the sudden coldness without the close proximity of his warm, lean body.

"Lily," James murmured in that delicious, deep voice of his. His eyes were still intense and the emotions swirling in his eyes almost made her want to cower in fear. "I _never_ want to hurt you but I know I can sometimes do that by accident. You're not some other girl; you're the only one I want. Always wanted. Please know that whatever I'm offering you is genuine."

Despite her beating heart that was afraid of rejection, Lily had maintained eye-contact with him when he spoke. His heart was on his sleeve – that old cliché – and she knew he was telling the truth. For the first time in her life, Lily fully understood why she had always discouraged his advances. _She_ was afraid they weren't genuine. That she was just another conquest, another girl to add to the long list of witches he had already compelled. Because this was all too real for Lily Evans.

"How can I ever refuse if you put it like that?" Lily smiled playfully, ignoring the painful pangs of her heart and how her body ached for his.

James returned a brilliant smile of his own but there were some hesitation in his hazel eyes.

"For old time's sake, Evans, will you go out with me?"

He was attempting her playful humour but only someone who knew him well would know that he did not succeed. Lily knew of course, she knew almost everything about him. Hesitation was still evident in his eyes, as if she might say no. As if she might reject him.

There were so many things she wanted to say at that moment, as if the moment was more than a schoolboy asking out a crush. They were more than that. She wanted to remain playful but what if he misinterprets her true intentions? She couldn't stand hurt marring his features. Other responses were so unbelievably corny that she couldn't believe she would ever conjure up such thoughts.

So she simply said: "Yes."

It fell like a firework of happiness welling up inside of her as she watched happiness erupt on his features until he was beaming with bliss. No grin could ever surpass James Potter's at that moment.

Lily found herself laughing, the tension gone from her body and now her body insisting her to express her own joy she was suppressing.

"Despite how I already think of you as my girlfriend, I had to make sure you know where we stand," James teased as he once again took her hand in his.

"Really?" Lily asked, her eyebrows shooting upwards in disbelief. "How long have you thought of me as your girlfriend?"

"Since I first saw you, all those times we fought in-between, I just pretend that we're just having those tiffs couples have," James replied, moving closer again.

Lily knew that if she did not regain control of her body's cravings, there was no way they could stay in the living room before someone spotted them.

"I think we should go to my room," Lily declared, stopping James from leaning closer but he didn't remove his hand.

"What about the game? I have a lot more lots than you and you're on the verge of bankruptcy," James motioned with his free hand.

"Well…if you think the game is _fun_," Lily said. She never flirted and the only person she found herself flirting with was James himself. But she wondered whether he understood her true meaning.

The way his eyes blazed confirmed he completely understood.

"The game is boring, I'm winning too easily. Let's go to your room."

…

James glanced at the closed door before scrambling to get out a parchment and ink. Lily had gone to the bathroom to brush her teeth and attend to other 'girly necessities' and he didn't know how long that would keep her.

_My Beloved Parents_

_I know I sometimes ask too much from you but I would really appreciate it if you buy me the gold-rimmed glasses. I would never lose them (as how would I see without glasses?) and any damage can be repaired with spells._

_Also, I would be extremely ecstatic if I can have the emerald necklace to give Lily Evans. I promise she would look after it and I want to give here something that is just as exquisite as her. If you have not suspected, I am in love with her._

_Love,  
James_

Quickly, James attached the letter to his owl and sent it out the window before Lily could arrive. He really regretted breaking her present – sometimes he was still that immature boy she still called him. But a greater regret was not giving her a present of her own. When she asked him, his story was only half-true. He had planned to give her the necklace but had not come around to ask his parents so he didn't know whether they would allow it in the first place.

Starring at the dark sky, James hoped his parents would allow it. He loved Lily. Everyone probably already knew it. And she _finally_ said yes to him. James knew that people they days don't really 'ask' others out, it was more like a definition of 'two dates' or '10 different kisses'. But he could not wait any longer to tell others that Lily Evans was his girlfriend. His.

And he will always be hers.


End file.
